Strangelove
by Aerus
Summary: Sequel to "A Deal With the Devil". Alfred's sacrifice to save Sarah takes him down a strange path, potentially questioning everything he knows of the world, the man to whom he has pledged his life, and especially himself. One question rises above all: at the end of this road, is there life or death?
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Strangelove

**Rating:** M

**Genre:** Drama/Romance

**Disclaimer:** _Tanz Der Vampire _and its characters belong to Roman Polanski, Jim Steinman and Michael Kunze. This fanfic is written simply for entertainment and I gain no financial profit by writing this.

**Summary:** Sequel to "A Deal With the Devil". Alfred's sacrifice to save Sarah takes him down a strange path, potentially questioning everything he knows of the world, the man to whom he has pledged his life, and especially himself. One question rises above all: at the end of this road, is there life or death?

**A/N:** This was never meant to happen. Originally I meant to leave "A Deal With the Devil" as it was, but after I had finished the piece, it immediately came back to haunt me. The story there seemed very incomplete to me, so I just had to continue to see exactly what would happen to Alfred. This story is what came out of that. "Strangelove" continues immediately after where "A Deal With the Devil" ended.

Originally, this was meant to be a lot darker and I intended for an angst approach, but I guess everything just got out of hand again and the story ended up being a lot different than I had thought it would be. Honestly, not many things about this fic turned out as expected, but I suppose that's just fitting considering my strange relationship to Alfred/Krolock anyway.

As you might already have guessed from the title, a great inspiration for this piece has been Depeche Mode's song _Strangelove, _and especially the cover by Northern Kings (I'd recommend you to listen to that – it's a really great cover). Naming this piece was pretty hard actually, so I guess I just went for the easy way with that.

But that's enough on my part. On with the show, and as always, I hope you will enjoy!

**ETA 11/2/2012: **I'm currently in the process of editing the story and trying to fix the typos and grammar errors. I may also add bit of new stuff, like more comfortable wordings and things like that, perhaps even a new scene or two. I'd be happy to receive any feedback or just be notified of any mistakes I've made.

* * *

**Chapter 1**

Delivering the tattered cloak of the castle's master to the care of Koukol was not a task that took a long time for Alfred, but for obvious reasons, he procrastinated as long as he was able. He was still feeling too confused and dumbfounded to find it in himself to face the vampire. After all, there was no telling what would happen once he'd enter the sitting room.

He fought for some sort of peaceful state of mind, but whenever he thought he had succeeded, his memory took him right back to the graveyard and what had happened there; he could practically _feel _the cool, silky soft mouth of the vampire still. It reminded him yet again of his own juvenile dreams and desires of how he had imagined his first kiss, and the actual experience both confused him to the very bottom of his soul and also, strangely enough, angered him.

That wasn't how it was supposed to happen! _This _wasn't where it should have happened! Well, one could argue that a lot of things weren't going these days like he would have wanted, but still – it did stung for some reason. However, should he go and accuse His Excellency for spoiling that, the vampire would no doubt just laugh at him, and then laugh some more and mock him for being so inexperienced.

And, another thing was that he'd have liked to know just _why _the Count had _kissed _him, but after some moments of contemplation (and blushing rather vigorously), Alfred decided it was purely to mess with his head. Being the controlling beast he was, Krolock probably enjoyed it greatly when he could play with Alfred like that; he was like a cat toying with a mouse before killing its prey. The best way around it was to act as if he didn't care one bit.

With one final deep breath, Alfred decided he could do it; he could face the vampire. He'd beat the Count in his own game and show that he wasn't quite as meek as the master of the castle thought him. He'd make it clear that the vampire couldn't mess with his head and that in order to break him, the undead aristocrat would have to come up with something else. Yes, that was what he would do.

He stepped in to the sitting room and quickly glanced about. He immediately noticed Herbert wasn't there, which unnerved him: surely Krolock wouldn't do... _improper _things with his son around? Then again, they were vampires. They likely had not the slightest idea of what was proper and after all, the Count did consider Alfred as his property and thus probably regarded it his right to do with him whatever he wanted. Then the young man realized how utterly mad it was; from all the people in world, he was counting on _Herbert _to shelter him from unwanted attention from the viscount's own father.

His earlier resolve to act completely calm and collected wasn't lasting: one sharp stare from Krolock made him feel just as uncomfortable as ever, and he could feel the blush spreading over his face all over again.

"Well? Where were you dawdling, Alfred? Did I not tell you to join me after taking care of my cloak?" he asked, sounding so very _Krolock _that the human had a brief desire to punch him.

"And that was exactly what I was doing", he muttered.

"Goodness, Alfred. Thank the devil _you're _not my servant. One would never have anything done here if you were", Krolock snorted.

"Heavens forbid that", the human said under his breath and was about to sit down when the vampire shot another sharp glance at him.

"While you're at it, do you mind adding some wood to the fire?" he inquired, sounding suddenly very amiable. Alfred made a face.

"Of course I don't mind, Your Excellency", he answered rather cheekily. Alfred felt he was pushing his luck, but his answer only made the corners of the Count's mouth slightly lift. He didn't know which was worst: the fact that the vampire took such great amusement in confusing him, or that even his anger seemed to be merely funny to the infuriating master of the castle.

Fuming silently, Alfred walked over by the fireplace and kneeled down to feed the fire. The flames chased away the chill of the graveyard: he had been so occupied by his confused thoughts that he hadn't even realized he was so cold. As soon has he had added couple of logs into the fire, he sought a comfortable position near the fireplace and reached his hands out, allowing the heat slowly creep in.

As he was sitting there, he eventually turned his head so that he could see the Count, who was reading quietly on his usual place by the fire. The pale face betrayed only deep concentration, and Alfred mused the vampire didn't even notice that he was watching. Silently, he tried to find something sympathetic about that face, or maybe something that might have betrayed what dark plan the vampire had in store for him. He supposed it was a good-looking face, elegant even, but also kind of scary.

"Why are you staring?" Krolock asked after a while, not lifting his gaze. Alfred blushed and quickly looked away.

"I didn't stare!" he argued sharply, but his answer only made the vampire scoff.

"You shouldn't lie to me, Alfred. If you do, I'll just read your mind, and I'm sure you don't like it when I do that", the Count said absentmindedly and turned a page.

The human lowered his gaze and turned again towards the fire. After some time, he glanced at the vampire again.

"What is it? You want to ask something?" Krolock inquired and closed his book, his face just a bit curious.

"I... I was wondering that... well, might you consider letting me go home some time?" Alfred finally asked. His question made the vampire roll his eyes.

"Alfred, did I ever say that you are explicitly forbidden from leaving? You can leave any time you wish, if you are willing to bear the consequences... which we have discussed before, as you remember", Krolock said, sounding very patient as if he were talking to a child. "We made a deal, Alfred, and I can be fair about it. I'm giving you the choice to back off if you wish to do so. I'm not making you stay – you yourself are."

Alfred stared at the Count, trying so hard to see through those clear blue eyes, but yet again realized he could not. A lump had formed in his throat and he bit his lip. Freedom was there just at his grasp... but the cost was one human life.

"Please. Just... let me go... and let her be", he whispered.

"No", Krolock answered, leaning back in his chair. There was a hard glint in his eyes now. "It wouldn't be a very good deal if I didn't get anything out of it, would it?"

"Please! Why can't you just let us be?" the human asked, raising his voice.

"Because", the vampire simply said, and he had never been quite as cruel or terrifying as he was then. Alfred, however, barely noticed. He was about to speak, but the Count was faster, "Don't glare at me like that. _I _didn't make you come here – it was your own choice. Or your Professor's, but you still chose to follow him. This is _my _territory, and like any master of the house, I am entitled to run it as I see fit. And now that you're here, you are going to have to play by _my _rules."

"Have you no mercy? No pity at all?" Alfred asked. His voice was cracking and he knew that any moment now, he would cry.

"Pity?" Krolock laughed. "What do you take me for, silly boy? If that was what you were hoping for when you made your offer, you're going to find yourself very disappointed indeed! When are you going to learn that I am all the evil things your mother warned you about?"

The vampire laughed again and rose on his feet, towering over Alfred like some horrifying demon from nightmares.

"If you crave for freedom so much, then leave. I'm not going to stop you. But know that I am going for her, and I will find her, even if you took her with you. And I _am _going to kill her, like I always intended. There's nothing you can do about it, except stay and surrender your fate into my hands."

Alfred shot up on his feet, and his agony gave him swiftness and strength he had not known to possess. In a desperate bout of anger and grief he slammed his fist against the Count's cheek.

"Monster! I hate you! _I HATE YOU!" _he screamed as his tormentor stumbled back. Then, tears blinding his eyes, he ran out.

* * *

As Alfred ran, he fully expected a strong hand to grab him any second and hold him down as a pair of fangs sunk in his neck. He knew he had only succeeded in his attack because the Count hadn't expected it, but now the vampire would surely come, furious and horrifying, and end his life... And then Krolock would go to Sarah too and make her suffer for what Alfred had done in unthinking anger.

But as he reached his chamber's door, ran in and finally fell down on the wide bed, the vampire never appeared. There was not that fearsome snarling sound, no cold hands forcing his head aside... What held Krolock's hand that night, Alfred didn't know.

As a matter of fact, he didn't even care. He wouldn't have minded if the Count had indeed killed him. Actually, he might have considered it a great kindness. He even lifted his head and searched his surroundings with blurry eyes, trying to find anything that he could have used to take his own life – just to escape this prison that was his own mind rather than any stone walls – but then realized he wouldn't even manage that.

No matter what, no matter how desperate his situation, Alfred wasn't one to take his own life.

This thought made him crash down sobbing again, and he curled up in a ball as if the amount of pain would then somehow be reduced.

He had been an idiot to think this could somehow work, that there was anything good and merciful about Krolock. He was going to die here, either as a madman driven crazy by the Count's games, or on the vampire's whim for no other reason that it happened to entertain his captor.

Alfred cried, for himself, for Sarah – for the cruel fate that had brought him into this awful, awful place.

* * *

When he woke up, it was dark. His head was pounding and his face was sticky with the long dry tears. He felt still so very exhausted and weak that the mere effort of taking off his clothes felt impossibly difficult, but after a bit of struggle he was able to get rid of his garments.

Alfred crawled back into his bed, drew the covers over himself and fell back into dark dreams where he was endlessly running from the pale, horrifying face of a vengeful vampire.

* * *

He didn't feel any better when he woke up the next time. As a matter of fact, he was feeling _worse. _His headache had only gotten more intense and his throat felt painfully sore.

Alfred did manage to rise up to pour some water for himself, and in his dried mouth, it felt so wonderful he barely even noticed the stale taste. Apparently he hadn't remembered to bring any fresh water into his chamber. He'd have to do that later when he was feeling better...

After consuming several cups of water, he climbed back to bed, feeling so very tired again. Very briefly before his consciousness left again he wondered why the Count hadn't killed him already.

* * *

A touch woke Alfred up from his feverish dreams. At first, he didn't understand what it was: it felt a bit like a block of ice against his forehead – only, blocks of ice didn't move on their own. Then he realized it had to be a vampire's hand, as only the undead had such a cool touch. Against his hot skin, the hand felt heavenly.

Unintelligible sound escaped his mouth and he saw a pale face hover somewhere over him. A hand slided across his forehead, as if the owner of that limb was drawing it back, but he grabbed it and pressed it against his burning skin again. It was the most pleasant feeling ever since... well, he couldn't even remember. How long had he slept?

"Alfred", a voice called him, but the only sound he managed was a faint groan.

Voices spoke over him, but he wasn't interested in trying to understand them, so he just lay there, clutching the hand over his face. After some time (which felt like a year or something), the pale figure appeared over him again.

"Alfred, I need my hand. May I have it for a moment?" a low, familiar voice asked and the owner of the cool hand gave it a small tug. Mumbling – and somewhat reluctant – Alfred let go. Someone grabbed his chin and forced his mouth open. "This will make you feel better."

Alfred wasn't really in the condition to argue even if he had wanted to, so he just let them do what they will. Something that tasted quite disgusting was spooned into his mouth and he wanted to spit it out, but a hand was placed over his mouth then, forcing him to keep the thick liquid inside.

"Swallow it. It will help you. That is good. Now, sleep", a soft voice whispered. The gloriously cold hand was again on his forehead and he could already feel his headache fading.

Alfred fell asleep.

* * *

At some point, he became aware of the fact that he was awake again. After his strange fever dreams, the borders between dream and reality seemed somehow dim. He was staring at a small flame on the top of an almost finished candle, and he had no idea of how much time had passed ever since he had been awake for the last time.

At least he was feeling slightly better now. Fever seemed to have given in for the most parts, and even his throat wasn't so sore anymore.

Sighing, Alfred stretched and thought about how nice a cup of tea would have been, but he didn't feel like leaving his bed. The idea of walking through the chilly corridors actually made him shiver. Instead, he rose up to find a pitcher so that he could pour some water - it appeared someone had refilled it while he had been sleeping. After drinking couple of cups he turned and his gaze fell on a shape sitting on an armchair beside his bed.

There was enough light for Alfred to recognize the shape: it was none other than the master of the castle. What he was doing there, the human didn't know.

He had seen a sleeping vampire (well, two of them, to be accurate) only once before – when him and the Professor had broken into the crypt. He remembered how calm and motionless the vampires had seemed in their resting places, and that was exactly how Krolock looked now. He sat stiff and unmoving, hands folded in his lap, eyes closed, and his face was void of any expression except for something like... _peace_. He looked like a statue... or like someone who had died calmly in their sleep.

Also, he was utterly helpless and vulnerable. Alfred could now take his life, as if that one chance he had had and lost in the crypt was offered him once again.

For a moment, he searched his surroundings with his gaze, trying to find anything that could have been used as a weapon. But then, after a moment of wondering if he could break a chair and use its leg as a stake, his eyes were drawn back to the Count again. He tried to imagine how it would be to drive a stake through that ice-cold heart and see the fine features and silky hair crumble down into dust, just like that vampire back at the graveyard had. Somehow, in that vision, the Count was awake and just before he turned into ashes, his brilliant blue eyes would stare at Alfred and there would be such intense disbelief and betrayal in them...

It would have been so easy... yet it was so _hard. _

No matter what this man, this creature, did to him, Alfred couldn't take his... life (if that was the correct word for what vampires had). He wasn't a killer, not like Krolock was. He was just an ordinary man, caught in impossible situation... But he couldn't be what he wasn't. As pathetic as that was, Alfred couldn't kill a vampire.

And even if he did, what good would it do to him? He might be a winner for a moment, but that victory would soon grow cold... Herbert would leave no stone unturned to find him and avenge the death of the Count. That wasn't a road Alfred was willing to take.

With a sigh, he fell back on the bed again and closed his eyes. He was trapped, just as he had been before. And he had been utterly foolish to think that pleading and begging could somehow change the vampire's mind. Krolock had probably listened to countless pleas during his existence, and Alfred's hadn't been any different. Even his anger was useless.

But then... there had to be something the Count wanted badly enough to let Alfred go... he just had to figure out what that was.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **The next chapter comes here. I hope you'll like it!

* * *

**Chapter 2**

The sleep was restful enough, and Alfred was feeling even somewhat good when he woke up some time next evening. Rubbing his eyes and yawning, he rose up into a sitting position, stretching his arms. Then he wiped hair from his face and scratched at the pitiful resemblance of stubble on his face: it had always kind of embarrassed him that what you'd call a real proper beard wouldn't grow on him.

"How are you feeling?" a quiet voice asked and Alfred let out a startled yelp as he jumped around on his bed. Krolock was still occupying the armchair; only now he was conscious and staring at Alfred. It was an unsettling sight, especially for someone who had just awoken.

"I'm fine! And why are you staring at me like that? It's creepy!" the human exclaimed, pulling his duvet at himself as if it were somehow able to repel vampires.

"Am I creepy?" the Count asked, cocking his head. The idea seemed to amuse him, if anything could be concluded from the glint that appeared in his eyes.

"You are! And stop grinning like that – it's not funny that you're creepy!" Alfred answered. His words only made Krolock chuckle.

"On the contrary, my friend. I find it quite amusing myself", he said, crossing his long legs.

"Of course you do", the human muttered and turned around to find the pitcher, just to give himself something to do. "And you don't probably care but I'm hungry."

"Koukol is preparing something for you this very moment", Krolock answered, inspecting his deadly claws. "Are you feeling sick still?"

"I said I was fine", Alfred answered sharply. "Why do you even care?"

"How many times do I have to remind you of our deal? Your life is mine to end, if it is to be ended, and I will not watch some sickness take you", the Count answered calmly. The young man made a face at him.

"So now I'm not even allowed to have normal bodily functions if it somehow interferes with you?" he asked grumpily. He couldn't say what it was that made him so courageous this morning: maybe it was the fact that he had actually punched the vampire and been left alive to tell the tale. The thought caused him to shiver, though. _He had punched Krolock. _Why the vampire didn't even seem to remember that particular thing, Alfred couldn't tell. Or perhaps it was all just a show intended to make him feel false sense of security that would soon turn into a bloody scene of horror...

That thought made the young man shiver and swallow hard.

"Absolutely not", Krolock said lightly. Then his eyes narrowed. "I wonder if I should just turn you... then you'd never be sick again..."

Alfred stared at the vampire in mute horror, which made the Count laugh.

"Fear not, young Alfred. I have no plans of turning you any time soon. What would be the fun in that?" he said and smiled arrogantly.

"Yes, it would be horrible if you were denied your fun", the human muttered, still feeling kind of startled.

"Finally we agree about something", the vampire said, his eyes glittering with amusement.

"I should have staked you yesterday", Alfred snapped. "Which reminds me... didn't you consider that I could take your life while you were resting?"

"I did, and Herbert told me the same", Krolock answered, his tone considerably light for the topic of his own demise. "But I said you wouldn't do it."

"How would you know that?" the young man demanded, which made the other one smile again.

"Because I know you, Alfred."

Koukol came in then, pushing a small trolley on which there was a tray with a silver cover over the food. When the tray of food was securely on Alfred's lap, the hunchback turned towards Krolock; the vampire gestured swiftly towards the door and Koukol left. The human was grateful for the food arriving when it did, as it provided a nice distraction from their conversation. The jovial Krolock was just as unnerving as the usual cold and distant one.

The soup was good, and for a moment Alfred concentrated only on eating, trying to ignore the unwelcome spectator. The vampire sat silent, watching him, which gradually made him feel awkward. After a while, his patience wore thin.

"You're staring at me again. Could you please stop that?" he asked, trying to sound tough.

"Is that good?" Krolock asked in return, eyes fixed on food and ignoring Alfred's request. The human looked at the steaming bowl.

"I suppose it is", the human shrugged. He ate another spoonful and glanced at the Count again. Suddenly, he felt curious. "Do you... miss food?"

"Sometimes. I remember I enjoyed wine and game quite much... My wife sometimes organized wonderful banquets, if my hunting party had been very succesful", the vampire answered slowly, his eyes distant with remembrance. "We had very good cooks here, which was something my wife took pride in. That all became unnecessary in the end, of course."

"Can't you eat normal food any more?" Alfred asked. He had never seen the Count eating anything, and the kitchens of the castles were mostly unused. These days, only Koukol cooked there and his meagre meals didn't require using the huge ovens or the big pots that had been gathering dust for a long time now.

"I cannot. It makes me sick if I do", Krolock answered with a grimace. Alfred tried to imagine a life without not being able to eat, and he decided it wasn't something he wanted to try. For one, he liked his morning tea much too well.

When he had finished his soup, the vampire rose up, straightening his fine clothes as he stood.

"Now, I hope you will take better care of yourself in future. It is not entertaining at all to make you drink my blood without you even realizing what is happening", the Count said as he headed for the door. His words made the human very nearly jump up and grab the nearest object that could have been used for violence.

"_You made me drink your blood?" _Alfred exclaimed in complete shock. Krolock glanced at him over his shoulder, looking infuriatingly smug.

"Of course I did. Why else do you think you have healed so rapidly? Vampire blood does very fascinating things to humans... and I must confess I quite enjoy that current cheeky attitude of yours, which is of course another delightful side effect", he said with a smirk.

"You... you..." the human stammered, trying to come up with a severe enough insult but not quite managing. "You fiend!"

"Relax, Alfred. It's not going to kill you. Quite the contrary, in fact. You should be grateful..." the Count chuckled as he strode out, leaving Alfred completely abashed and angry.

* * *

As much as Alfred wanted to sulk and refuse to talk to Krolock, he soon realized it wasn't exactly an easy thing to do. For one, there was the Count's patience that seemed to be endless when convenient, and any attempts to brood and glare or to just plain ignore him only managed to pull out smiles that _almost _could have been described as charming (at least if one didn't know the man and ignored major things like the ominously gleaming fangs). The vampire would watch him with amused and slightly condescending eyes, reminding Alfred of the way people looked at their pets when the animal was doing something they perceived as silly. When one was encountered with such reaction, it wasn't easy to cling to one's anger, no matter how justified. More than angry, it made him feel frustrated and there were moments when he wondered if he was being silly.

Additionally, Alfred really didn't like to think of himself as a pet, but then again, it _was _a vampire he was dealing with. One shouldn't expect respectful treatment there.

IN the end it was also rather lonely. He tried to find solace from Herbert's company, but once again their world views and thought processes seemed to be so vastly different, and sometimes Herbert just plain annoyed him. Not that Krolock never did, but with Herbert, it was different kind of annoyance. And, after all, if he was going to stay here forever, what good sulking did? Not to mention that the Count's blood _had _made him feel better, no matter how much the mere idea of consuming vampire blood disgusted him. Furthermore there was the fact that Alfred had never been very good at sulking to begin with.

So, one night Alfred gave in, and that evening in the sitting room he silently stared at the Count to show he wasn't any more pretending that he didn't see the vampire at all. Afterwards, the whole thing seemed pretty childish anyway. And when a strange little smile momentarily touched the vampire's face and he asked something, Alfred answered. He fully expected Krolock to boast and belittle him; instead, the Count just flashed again that strange smile and returned to his book.

* * *

"I knew you wouldn't be able to hold up against him for long. And it's not only because no one can out-brood him", Herbert commented the next night when the viscount was giving him a hair cut (the vampire had insisted Alfred looked like "a forester" and that he wasn't "going to let you offend our eyes a moment longer").

"How would you know such thing?" Alfred asked cautiously. Something told him they were entering an area he would have rather left undiscussed.

"I'm very knowledgeable", Herbert said airily, measuring the hair over his patient/victim's forehead. "But believe me, Alfie. I know him – I've known him for a very long time. No matter what he does, no matter how evil... you cannot hate him."

Alfred turned to face the vampire, which almost resulted in the blade of Herbert's scissors piercing his eye.

"I told you not to move! What do you think Vati would do to me if you appeared in the front of him with only one eye? Not to mention an eye-patch would look awful on you!" the vampire scolded, but Alfred hardly cared about that.

"What did he do to you, then?" he demanded, which made Herbert roll his eyes.

"Not to _me, _silly! I'm probably the one person who has never suffered of Vater's unfortunate way of... well, breaking nice things even when he doesn't mean to do so", the viscount said. "Don't tell him that I said that, though. It'd only make him sad, and he mopes too damn much already."

"Mopes? I don't believe that. I've never met anyone who is so indifferent and uncaring", Alfred said and turned his head so that Herbert could carry on with his task.

"You're only seeing what he chooses to show you, Alfie", Herbert said. "Haven't you realized that already? No one knows him but himself. And me, of course, but I'm special."

Alfred bit his lip absentmindedly, mulling over the viscount's words.

"But what did you mean one cannot hate him?" he finally asked.

"Just that as he is awful, he is also enchanting", Herbert said and leant down by Alfred's side and looked over the young man's shoulder, so that he could see the other one's eyes. "Keep that in mind, my friend."

"Uhh... yes. I shall do so", Alfred mumbled, not really understanding why Herbert's words filled him with such ominous feeling.

After a moment of silence, he spoke up again. It wasn't only because he wanted to push their current conversation out of his mind.

"You don't seem to be very... interested in me any more", he pointed out. The vampire gave a soft, silvery laugh that one could probably have described as very attractive.

"Does it bother you now? Are you regretting that you didn't take my offer when it was still available?" Herbert asked, his voice teasing.

"No, of course not! I was just wondering. You were very eager when we first met", Alfred said, although saying that the viscount had been _eager_ was quite an understatement.

"I suppose I was", the vampire agreed. "It's just that you rarely get any visitors here... visitors as cute as you are."

"I'm not cute!" Alfred exclaimed, blushing.

"But you are! Don't try denying it. You're so cute I could just... well, I almost _did, _but you know what I mean", the blond man said and giggled.

"Herbert! You're impossible", the human said, his cheeks still burning with embarrasment. He had never really thought of himself as cute... Scrawny with such a boyish face that he looked younger than he actually was, but cute?

"You sound exactly like Vati", Herbert hemmed. "I swear, if I left you two alone for a while, I wouldn't be able to recognize you from him when I came back."

Alfred decided not to say anything to that, but he did snort rather audibly.

"Anyway, you made your deal with Vati and I'm not stupid enough to try and interfere. For one, Vati would never let me hear the end of it and you have absolutely no idea of how annoying he can be when he's displeased. But should you two ever call it off, you can always come back to me, dear", the vampire said with a light tone, but with him, it was impossible to tell if he was actually being serious. Alfred wasn't sure what he should have said anyway, so he just grunted (he was kind of proud of how unimpressed that single noise sounded).

"Now, all done! And you look again quite pleasant indeed. We don't want to hide those pretty eyes of yours", Herbert said after a moment, admiring his handiwork. The young man decided the vampire wouldn't probably hear any of it if he tried to say his eyes weren't pretty, so he left it at that.

"Thank you. I suppose I was in the need of a hair cut", Alfred said when he saw the surprisingly large amount of hair on the floor.

"Of course you were. That's exactly why I made you have one", Herbert said, self-satisfied. "Now, run off! I need to find Koukol to clean up this mess."

Rolling his eyes and muttering something about stupid vampires, Alfred ventured out.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Time went on and nights passed, and slowly, Alfred began to believe he would never be able to leave. There were times when this thought seemed crushing in its weight, and he had to fight hard in order not to fall in depression.

He missed his home and the familiar faces of other students. He missed the sunny summers of Königsberg and its streets that he knew like his own pockets. He even thought of the Professor's dusty study with nostalgia, and how he had sat there listening to the old man's endless lectures while watching tiny dust particles float in the air.

But here he was, far away from home, likely never to return... unless he decided his life was more valuable than Sarah Chagal's. The idea of leaving was painfully tempting and he often dreamed of running away from the castle, but in the end he always knew he would never be able to do that. Alfred knew very well that he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he let someone else die because of his own weakness.

Herbert had been right, though. As miserable he was, and as much he longed for his home, Alfred couldn't hate the one who caused it all. It was crazy and didn't make any sense, but so it was. He was certain that bearing his fate here would have been easier if he could at least have hated the Count, but as much as he tried to feel loathing, he could not. _As he was awful, he was enchanting. _And, even if he didn't like that very much, there was truth about what the vampire had said: after all, it had been his choice to come here. In a way, it was his own mistake.

The night when _that thing _happened, Alfred was in his own chamber and sewing a patch on the knee of his trousers. He had tripped on his way from downstairs and scratched open the knee. Being too proud, he decided not to ask Herbert or the Count for a new piece of clothing but rather try and repair his old pants. The more childish part of him hoped it would annoy Krolock, who himself was always immaculately dressed.

When he was doing the last stitches, Herbert wandered in, humming quietly to himself.

"You could have knocked", Alfred pointed out. He had a feeling irritation at the vampire's inconsiderate entry would have very little effect.

"I could, but it's my castle", Herbert said airily and examined him. The human would have liked to argue back or point out that it was actually the Count's castle, but he had already learned it was usually waste of time to try and fight with the viscount. Somehow, Herbert always found a way to win an argument even if he was the one who had it wrong.

"Well, while you're here you could tell me what you want", Alfred said and bit off the thread, then studying his handiwork. It looked kind of messy – he had never been very good in sewing – but it would do.

"Vati wants to see you. He asked me to get you", Herbert answered. The human contemplated the possibility of saying no for a moment, but decided against it. If he didn't obey, the Count would come here himself, and possibly make him regret that he hadn't done as he had been ordered in the first place. So Alfred sighed and pulled on his newly fixed pants, trying to look like he didn't notice Herbert watching him with appreciative eyes. At least he could now trust that all Herbert would do was to look.

"All right then", he answered, put on his shoes and followed Herbert out. He was about to turn left and head towards the sitting room when the vampire cleared his throat.

"Wrong way, Alfred", he said with a vaguely smug face. The human stopped and and feeling confused, turned to face him.

"Vati is in his chambers", Herbert said, his smile widening.

Now that was unnerving. Why would the Count want to see Alfred in his own chambers? It could only mean trouble, and he gulped.

"What does he want?" he asked, trying to keep his voice even.

"You'll have to ask himself", the vampire said. "Follow me."

Herbert guided him through dark hallways until they came to a corridor Alfred wasn't sure he had seen before. He had spent a lot of time exploring the castle, but then again a lot of places here looked very similar. In any case, he thought it was the right wing of the ancient building. It wasn't very hard to get lost in this place.

"There", Herbert pointed at a door and turned around. For a moment, the human considered calling the viscount and asking him to come along, but then he decided against it and wanted to kick himself for being so pathetic. He was a grown-up. He could handle this.

Gathering his courage, Alfred knocked and after a short moment, the familiar voice called him in.

The room was spacious, with red wallpapers that were decorated with black floral patterns. The sense of space was heightened by tall windows (some of them with stained glass), adorned by curtains that were couple shades darker than the walls. A beautiful king-sized, four-postered bed made of dark wood ruled the room, although it looked like no one had slept there in a long time. That was probably true, given that the Count chose to rest in crypt. On the opposing wall, there was a great fireplace, and on its mantelpiece there lay scattered various small objects (a small hairbrush with ivory handle caught Alfred's eye – it was quite delicate and feminine to belong to an undead nobleman). There was little other furniture, all of which was made of similar dark wood as the bed: couple of comfortable-looking armchairs by the fire, a massive drawer, and a table by the bedside. Two doors were on each side of the fireplace, leading to other rooms.

The Count himself stood by the window, his back turned to Alfred. He had taken off his black coat and was wearing a loose dark shirt instead, with his long hair flowing over his shoulders.

"You asked for me?" Alfred said after shortly examining his surroundings. The vampire turned around: he had been buttoning up his shirt but hadn't finished, and the human could see a glimpse of white chest. He hadn't realized the gaunt-looking Count would appear so... _toned. _Thinking of that made him immediately blush.

"I did", the vampire said and a slow smile – not exactly a calming kind – spread on his face. "I wish to bite you."

Alfred froze in fear. Was this it? Was he going to get killed? And what could possibly have made the vampire make that decision now? He was terrified, yet a part of his mind was still going over last couple nights, trying to remember if he had done something to anger Krolock...

"You're going to kill me?" he squeaked, sounding much more scared than he wanted to sound. Despite everything, he didn't want to come across as a coward, or die as such. The Count smiled, but his smile did little to console the human.

"Of course not, silly boy. It only kills you if I drink you dry", he said lightly, as if he were talking about something much less severe and permanent than the possibility of Alfred's life ending.

"Well, you're going to turn me then?" the human inquired, quickly wondering if he could find a cross somewhere.

"No. I'm merely going to bite you and take a little of your blood. Turning you would require much greater amount, and I have no intention of doing that now", Krolock said.

"So you're not going to kill me?" Alfred felt obliged to ask one more time.

"Of course not", the vampire reassured him.

"And... what if I say no?" the young man asked cautiously, although he wasn't sure it was wise. However, the Count merely chuckled.

"Do you actually think that is going to stop me if I truly wish to bite you? You're not going to be able to fight me, and you know that. And it will hurt much more if you try to resist, so I'd recommend you to do as I say", he said, again doing that infuriating _patronizing but gentle _-thing he often did when Alfred was around.

Realizing he was beaten, the human groaned.

"Fine. What do I have to do?" he asked.

"I believe you should sit on the bed. It will be more comfortable there", the vampire answered.

"If you're so concerned about my comfort, why bite me at all?" Alfred spilled out before he could stop himself.

"We can do this the hard way, if you want to. It is your choice", the Count merely said with a faint lift of his eyebrows.

Sighing heavily, Alfred approached the bed and sat down after a moment of hesitation. Somehow it felt wrong to sit there, even if no one even used the bed any more. Fear was building in him despite the vampire's promise not to kill him; what if something went wrong and he ended up dead anyway?

"Now, don't look so terrified. You're not going to die", Krolock said softly as he sat beside the human. There was only other one time he had been so near, and thinking of that made Alfred still feel quite nervous and embarrassed.

"Promise?" he asked unhappily. He wanted to kick himself for sounding so pitiful, but he couldn't help it.

"I promise", the Count said with a small chuckle. Then he pushed Alfred's head aside and wrapped his other arm around the human to keep him steady. The young man swallowed and shut his eyes thight, hoping it would be over soon. He felt the cool breath of the vampire on his neck then and heard a sound of long inhaling as the other one took in his scent.

"This is going to hurt a bit", the vampire whispered, so close that his lips touched Alfred's earlobe, "but you'll get used to it. Being bitten is actually very nice..."

"So you say!" Alfred winced, unable not to shiver.

"Just try to relax. It is really not that bad", Krolock said, his voice low and soothing. A long moment passed by without nothing happening and slowly, the human's racing heart started to calm down. But when he felt two fangs on his neck, it leapt again and he let out a small whimper.

Fangs penetrated his skin, and it _did _hurt; Alfred yelped and convulsed instinctively, but two strong arms held him still. _Be calm... _a voice seemed to whisper in his mind, and he would have wanted to tell that voice how very stupid it was for proposing something like that. He was breathing hard, his head was pounding and his reason was screaming to get away, for surely he would die here...

But, somehow, he was able to hold still, and after a moment he realized it didn't really hurt that much any more; there was something like a pinch, yes, but it was almost like... _good hurt_. He concentrated on the sucking feeling on his neck, how the vampire slowly and carefully took small sips... The arms around him rocked him gently, and Alfred could _almost _see what the Count had meant when he had said it could be _nice. _

Then the fangs were gone and were replaced by a tongue, which lapped at the two small wounds on his neck to catch the last drops of blood. That wasn't unpleasant at all and he could finally feel his tense muscles relaxing, letting himself sink into the arms that were holding him. He was a bit dizzy and somehow boneless, but he was alive.

The lapping at his neck stopped after a while and Alfred let his eyes open. Krolock had pulled back a bit and was now studying his face intently. His mouth and teeth were stained with blood, and although that could have looked very scary, Alfred didn't feel fear. _It was his blood. _

"Well? Was it so bad?" the Count asked, his voice unexpectedly soft and friendly.

"It was awful", Alfred mumbled. He realized the vampire still hadn't let him go, and for some reason, he didn't object to that. He wasn't even sure he'd have been able to support himself without those arms anyway.

"You liar", the other one chortled.

He fell silent then, and his eyes fixed on Alfred's. A shadow of _something _passed in his clear blue eyes as he watched the human... his right hand moved up to the back of Alfred's head, grabbing hair gently... and then he moved closer.

This time, Alfred wasn't so astonished when he realized there was a mouth pressed against his own. It didn't take him as long to recover, and, most surprisingly of all, he didn't feel the resistance he had sworn to have if this exact thing should happen again. Maybe it was the loss of blood, or maybe he had been hypnotized somehow – it could be that drinking blood messed with your head. He didn't know.

As a matter of fact, he didn't even care.

The metallic taste was much stronger this time, and he knew it was the taste of his own blood. It actually wasn't as disgusting as the blood he had been forced to drink when he had been ill, but that might just have been the fact that he had just been fed on. Once again his heart began to race and it felt like bursting in his chest; he felt one fang nibbling gently at his lower lip and it made him shiver and moan. He was hot and cold at the same time and now, if ever, he was certain he would die. Every sensation seemed heightened, his chest felt tight and he was so very dizzy...

Alfred was out of breath when the vampire finally pulled back. Slowly, his mind began working again – somewhat – and he became conscious of his surroundings. At some point, his hands had risen up to rest on the sides of the Count's neck, and he felt the smooth skin under his hands and strands of silky hair brush at the back of his fingers. His heart was still pounding with no sign of slowing down, and he felt so painfully alive that he feared he would explode any moment.

Krolock stared down at him mutely, and his eyes betrayed no thought or emotion. His face could only be described as blank. For some time, he remained there, arms still around Alfred, when he suddenly shot up and stalked away. He turned his back to Alfred.

"Leave", came the curt order in a completely emotionless voice.

"But I..." Alfred began, although he didn't even know what to say. The only answer he was given was Krolock's hand pointing at the door, and he realized that this time, it was better to just obey with no arguments.

Fidgeting as he went, Alfred left the room, once again completely astounded by the enigmatic, crazy and infuriating master of the castle.

* * *

Alfred didn't see Krolock next night.

He had barely slept, but rather tossed and turned restlessly, unable to push away agonizing thoughts of what had happened in His Excellency's bedchamber. And when he remembered, flush burned his face as if he had just exited the vampire's chambers. When it became especially excruciating, he tried to think of Sarah, how it was all for her, but his mind wouldn't follow his lead that night. Rather, even the thoughts of her somehow managed to lead back to the Count.

So he was feeling exhausted yet somehow electrified the next day, and no matter how he tried, he couldn't seem to distract himself with anything. Even reading didn't help: he found himself constantly just staring at the page while thoughts were running amok in his head.

In the end, the only medicine he could think of was to find the vampire and talk of what had exactly happened. He would ask Krolock to leave him alone and not do _that _again. He would be very brave and forceful and tell the vampire not to mess with his head any more, because that was exactly what it was about: just to confuse him and play with his mind. But that night, when he tried to find the Count, he quickly became aware of the fact that the tall vampire was nowhere to be found. According to Koukol, the Master had gone outside almost immediately after emerging from the crypt, with no word of where he was going or when he would return.

Alfred was disappointed to hear Koukol's words; how dare the stupid vampire do this? First confuse him so profoundly and then just disappear into the night, leaving him suffer alone! Had Krolock been around then, Alfred would have punched him right in the middle of that _stupid_, elegant face and told just how _stupid _it all was.

But, as the vampire didn't make appearance that night, Alfred was left fuming alone.

Herbert, however, did come to him. The human knew something was wrong instantly when he saw the viscount's face: Herbert rarely looked so worried, and if anything managed to worry _him, _it had to be serious.

"What did you do to Vati?" the vampire demanded right away when he had spotted Alfred sitting at the window sill.

"What?" Alfred asked in confusion. In his opinion, one should have rather asked what the Count had done to _him, _not the other way around!

"You heard what I said! What did you do to him?" Herbert exclaimed.

"I don't understand", the human said, feeling even more confused now than before. The other seemed frustrated now, and even more so annoyed.

"Well, it has to have something to do with you, I'm sure of it! It was after he spoke with you that he began acting so strange!" Herbert said, biting absently his thumbnail.

"Please, explain what you mean", Alfred wanted to know. This was getting more and more confusing with every moment!

"I could see something was wrong with him, with how agonized he looked – and the way he would _punish _that poor violin of his, it was horrifying – and then he wouldn't speak to me although he knew that I knew he wasn't all right. He barely spoke two words for me tonight and then he just left without even telling where he was going! Vati isn't like that, he doesn't keep secrets from me! He knows how I worry for him, especially when he is in pain, and then acts like this..." Herbert babbled on, sounding just a bit panicked. Then his eyes focused on Alfred again. "Tell me! What did you do?"

"I did nothing! I just... well, I did as he told me to do, nothing else!" Alfred defended himself quickly.

"Then what was it?" the viscount asked anxiously.

"I... he just wanted to bite me", the human said and exposed two small puncture wounds on his neck. It wasn't lying, was it, if he didn't tell the whole truth? Because there was _no way _he'd actually tell the full truth of what had happened.

"Did he say anything? No, did _you _say anything to him?" Herbert asked, staring at the wounds as if the answer was somehow hidden in them.

"I didn't", Alfred said quietly. Luckily, the vampire didn't seem to notice that he hadn't told everything. Really, it wasn't something he wanted to say out loud, and least of all, to Herbert. Just thinking of what had happened made him so very embarrassed that he didn't even want to wonder how it would feel if he was to speak of it to someone like the viscount. Herbert would laugh or be condescending or something else equally embarrassing, and Alfred had no idea of how you even confessed to having kissed... no_ having been__ kissed _by another man?

The vampire stroke his chin thoughtfully, still looking quite concerned.

"Fine then. But if he says anything to you about what is going on, you need to come and tell me immediately", Herbert finally said and left without another word. Only when he was gone, Alfred let out a breath he had been holding without realizing it himself.

Pulling his knees against his chest, he closed his eyes and tried to calm his mind. He took deep, long breaths, just concentrating on how it felt, air expanding his lungs... but like for ever since the scene in the Count's chambers, he wasn't able to hold that emptiness of mind for long.

The kiss in the graveyard had been... it was exactly what he had thought it to be: just another way the vampire could make him feel beaten and confused. A mind game, pure and simple.

But last night? If Herbert's words confirmed something, it was that it had been nothing like what had happened that night when the Count had come to drive off the old vampires and saved Alfred. Maybe Krolock had originally intended something else, but that kiss... it hadn't been a mind game. Or, if it was, this time he had fallen into his own trap too.

That kiss had been something strong enough to even throw the vampire himself off balance.

Absentmindedly, Alfred traced his lips and felt a tightening somewhere in his stomach; it made him shiver and he let out a shaky breath. He quickly put his hand down, as if it were burned and leaned his forehead against the cool surface of the window glass, once again fighting to clear his mind.

Something was happening to him, and he wasn't sure it was _good. _


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

A week passed without Alfred seeing even a glimpse of the irksome vampire. Every night, he would hear that the Count had gone out and usually returned only shortly before sunrise. He had waited on the crypt's door every night, but the Count seemed to be using another exit: it looked like he was directly avoiding Alfred.

The human didn't know why that was. One would have thought that _he _would have been the one to do the avoiding rather than the confident, self-assured vampire.

"I really need to know what is wrong with him. He never goes out this often! Do you think he might be going mad?" Herbert asked one night, once again worrying for his father.

"You tell me that. You've known him a lot longer than I have", Alfred said with a shrug of his shoulders. How did you diagnose madness in a vampire anyway?

"Well, it drives me crazy too", the viscount muttered and threw himself into a chair opposite Alfred – the one Krolock usually occupied.

"Have you tried talking to him?" Alfred offered warily. He could barely believe he was giving family advice to a centuries-old vampire!

"I have talked and talked, and it is a wonder that my tongue hasn't already fallen off! But it's like he doesn't even hear me", Herbert wailed and rubbed his temples.

The human lowered his gaze back to his book, although he wasn't really reading. Rather, he was thinking: how could _that thing _possibly drive the Count to act like this? Moreover, should he just tell Herbert the truth? He didn't have a chance to contemplate that option for long, however; suddenly, the viscount's eyes lit up and he looked at Alfred very intently.

"I'm thinking... maybe you should talk to him for change!" Herbert exclaimed and straightened up on his seat.

"Me?" Alfred asked in a startled voice. "Why me?"

"I'm running out of ideas here, Alfie. Could you at least try?" the blond vampire asked. His eyes looked suddenly very wide and pleading.

"Why would my words have any effect on him? You know how he usually treats me. He'd probably just laugh at me..." the young man sighed. _Or worse._

"Well, at least that would be something else than what he's doing now! Alfie, please?" Herbert said, eyes glistening as if he were about to cry.

"All right! I will talk to him, although I still don't see what good it will do. And I swear I'll come back to haunt you if he murders me", Alfred gave in. The vampire squealed happily.

"I knew I could count on you! You're the best, Alfie!" he said and blew a kiss at the human.

Alfred didn't know how to answer to that, so he just snorted and lowered his gaze back to his book.

"Just like Vati", the other said with a grin, looking already relieved.

"There's just... one thing", the human said after a moment of wondering just what he was getting himself into here.

"What is it?" Herbert inquired absentmindedly.

"I think he's using some other exit from the crypt. I... need to know if you can get there some other way, so that I can catch him before he manages to escape again", Alfred explained slowly, which made Herbert frown.

"I'm not supposed to tell you that", he said. "In case you try to stake us while we sleep..."

"Herbert, I'm not going to do that. I swear. I made a deal, and... I'm going to keep it", the young man said in a soft voice. It was strangely hard to say those words, as if he were giving up some last chance of survival.

"You know, it's that damned honourable nature of yours that got you into this in the first place. Have you thought about changing your ways lately?" Herbert asked.

"I haven't. I won't", Alfred answered, his voice quite defiant.

"Well, I suppose I can trust you. I'll show you the other way in to the crypt", the vampire said and beckoned the other one to follow. "This better work, Alfie."

* * *

Just before sunset, Alfred positioned himself by a secret door that lead down to the crypt. It was situated in an old, dusty chamber, but a trail leading to the fireplace showed that at least someone frequently used the room. Herbert hadn't exactly elaborated what the actual door was, but Alfred was already thinking of all the adventurous stories of his boyhood where great old castles were filled with secret passages, and he was pretty sure it was in the fireplace, as fantastic as that sounded.

However, Alfred wasn't exactly thinking of secret ways now, but rather the approaching confrontation. He was feeling more jittery and nervous than he would have expected. It had been all right after the graveyard, so this shouldn't have been different... at least that was what he thought at first. Then he remembered the second time in the chamber, and the Count's unexplainable expression and strange behavior ever since.

It had been nothing like the graveyard, and it _was not all right. _

Alfred closed his eyes and took deep breaths. Maybe he should just back off and let the vampire decide when – if ever – it was the right time? Then again, he had promised Herbert. He couldn't let the viscount down without even trying!

Madness. Here he was, fidgeting for one vampire and scolding himself for even thinking of disappointing another! Yes, madness it was: this distant, godforsaken castle and its inhabitants had finally driven him out of his mind.

His thoughts were then disrupted as the stone wall of the fireplace slid around and the Count emerged from the another side. It might have been more impressive hadn't the young man's concerns been elsewhere. All too soon, the vampire was on the front of Alfred and a heavy silence fell between them.

Krolock stood silently, just staring at Alfred (quite ominously, actually). Some time ago, that stare might have sent him running for cover, but now he was telling himself to be brave and stand his ground.

"Umm. Herbert is worried", he finally managed to utter.

"I know", came the curt answer.

"I want you to talk to him", Alfred said, feeling his courage wavering. What were his chances of getting to the door before the vampire would catch him?

"I cannot", the Count informed him. "Was there anything else, or why are you blocking my way?"

"I..." the young man began, searching for words. The vampire's eyes narrowed in a way that promised nothing good.

"And who told you of this passage?" he asked.

"Uhh, no one", Alfred hurried to answer, blushing.

"You should know better than to lie to me. It was Herbert, wasn't it?" Krolock demanded rather threateningly.

"Don't blame him! I asked him to tell me if there were any other ways to the crypt. He was just worried about you! And he wanted me to talk with you. He meant no harm", the young man said quickly, fully expecting some sort of punishment. However, the vampire just lifted his eyebrows with some curiosity.

"You're defending him? Why?"

"Because... it's the right thing to do", Alfred muttered.

"After all this time, you're still concerned by that? My evil influence isn't what it used to be any more", the Count commented with dark humour. The human frowned; he had no idea where this was heading, but perhaps he wouldn't be skinned alive after all.

"Well, maybe it tells more about me than you", he dared to say, which even managed to pull a ghost of a smile out of the vampire.

"Perhaps you are right about that. Now, are we done?" Krolock asked.

"We aren't", Alfred answered. "I want to ask you something."

"Really? What exactly do you wish to ask?" the Count inquired.

"I wish to know why you did it. Why did you... kiss me", the young man asked, and his voice was barely a whisper.

The vampire didn't answer at first, and Alfred studied his face intently to find any evidence of what the other one might have been thinking. One truthful answer was what he wanted.

"Because I wished to do so. Anything else?" Krolock snapped.

"Was it just to play games with me? To make me confused? If it's just you toying with me... please, don't", Alfred said quietly, attempting to swallow a lump from his throat. He lowered his gaze and for some reason, felt like crying. This wasn't going well at all. "I can't handle it. I can't. I'd rather have you kill me than play games with my mind... If I'm to end my days here, I just... please. I haven't asked much, have I?"

He stood silent, expecting cruel words and amusement and arrogance, but instead, the vampire was just as quiet as he were. There were steps then, and pair of two shoes appeared in his vision. Then a pale hand lifted his chin up.

"That is indeed quite a small thing to ask", the Count answered quietly. His words puzzled Alfred, but the young man didn't find it in himself to ask their meaning. Instead, he just stared silently up to the pale, enigmatic face of Krolock. For a moment, the taller man held his gaze and then he pressed a softest of kisses on Alfred's forehead.

Before the human could say or do anything, he had already stridden out.

* * *

No more words on the subject was exchanged between the Count and Alfred, but the matter seemed to be settled. For one, the vampire stopped his mysterious trips outside and overall appeared to be more like himself again, distant and cool and slightly amused by virtually everything Alfred said and did (or that was at least how the young man felt).

Herbert was relieved, too. Worrying for his father had seemed to sap him of his usual air of finery and flamboyance, but now it was back on full force. It also seemed to drive the viscount a bit crazy as he decided several things, which were: 1) the great hall was in a need of thorough cleaning, 2) Alfred's entire wardrobe had to be replaced, and 3) he needed to redecorate the bathroom.

Mostly, the best idea was to just stay away from his way and let him have his little bout of madness.

"It happens sometimes. I'd say he has spring in his breast", Krolock commented vaguely one night while flipping through papers on which Herbert had written things that needed to be ordered and bought for the bathroom. The Count's chosen expression made Alfred snigger silently, at which sound the vampire lifted his eyes with something like a frown on his face. "I wouldn't laugh if I were you. Usually that would result in him snogging someone – namely you – quite profoundly."

That made the human blush.

"Surely he wouldn't..." he stammered.

"Oh, have no doubt. He _would. _Herbert can be quite passionate sometimes..." Krolock snorted and returned to his papers. Alfred remembered the viscount's advances when he had first come to the castle, and he shivered. It had been very scary indeed.

Pushing those memories out of his mind, he considered the Count for a moment.

"You and him... he's very different than you", he commented cautiously. Well, that was probably the understatement of the year, considering how the two vampires were like day and night when compared to each other.

His Excellency made a sound between a chuckle and a snort.

"Indeed. Sometimes even I have hard time believing we are related", he said.

"And you don't look old enough to be his father", Alfred continued, although he wasn't sure if this was a safe topic.

"Are you implying he's not my son?" Krolock asked with lifted eyebrows. "I assure you, he's my flesh and blood... Herbert was very young when I was turned, and as he grew older, I remained unchanged. But it is true – I'm often believed to rather be his older brother than father. That seems to annoy my son to no end."

"How old were you when you became a vampire?" the human asked. The vampire lifted his eyes from his papers, staring at the distance as if it was somehow hard for him to remember such things.

"I believe I was in my mid-thirties. I don't remember any more... when you live this long, years lose their meaning", he sighed.

"What happened to Herbert's mother? If I may ask?" Alfred asked after short silence. For a moment, he thought the Count wouldn't answer, but then the vampire turned his eyes towards the human.

"She died. She was my first victim after I was turned", Krolock answered quietly, and briefly, Alfred could see deep, ancient sorrow in the vampire's eyes. It surprised him, because he hadn't known that the Count was actually able to feel such emotion.

"I'm sorry", he blurted out, and unexpected sympathy filled him. No matter what kind of a person the vampire was, he did seem to have grief for his lost love.

"It is all right. It happened a long time ago", the Count said turning back to his work.

"Do you miss her?" Alfred asked before he could stop himself. Mutely, Krolock nodded and kept his eyes in his papers.

The young man was about to open his mouth and change the topic when the vampire suddenly spoke again.

"I do miss her. Very much, actually. It is curious, how much I long for her presence, even if it has been a long time since I took her life. I... I believe Herbert would have needed her here. I raised him the best I could, but I feel I was a horrible father. My son would have deserved better... not a night creature who constantly yearned for his blood", the Count said quietly, staring down at his hands. Alfred listened, feeling rather eager: Krolock had never spoken of himself so openly when he was around.

"He does care for you a lot", Alfred braved to say when the other one had fallen silent.

"I know. That is the reason I go on", the vampire said with a faint smile. It surprised the human: he hadn't thought that the Count would harbor such... world-weariness. But then, many old vampire probably did. And hadn't Herbert said that Alfred only saw what Krolock chose to show? Truly, there seemed to be much more under that cool, enigmatic exterior than he had even thought.

That moment, Herbert dashed in: there was cobweb in his hair and he looked a bit disheveled, but his face shone with enthusiasm.

"Alfred! Guess who just arrived!" he exclaimed.

"Uhh, how should I know?" the human mumbled in confusion.

"A tailor, Alfie! All the way from Budapest! Isn't that exciting?" Herbert rejoiced. "He even has this cute assistant with him!"

"Well... I suppose that is nice", Alfred agreed. The setting sounded absurdly familiar.

"It's more than nice! It's a high time we renewed your wardrobe", the viscount said with a wide grin.

"There's no need for that. My old clothes are perfectly fine", young man said uncomfortably. He had tried to convince the vampire of this several times now, but Herbert couldn't be moved.

"Don't be silly, Alfred. You can't wander around in patched trousers! And that coat of yours – it really looks like it's going to fall apart any moment. I shall not take 'no' as an answer!" he proclaimed and then again dashed off to receive the tailor. Alfred looked at the Count, trying to look as appealing as he could, but the vampire just shrugged.

"You'd better do as he wants, or he'll never stop pestering you", Krolock said nonchalantly. The human sighed in frustration. The vampire smiled faintly. "Don't look so desperate. Herbert is moderately easy to live with as long as you play along."

"Your son is a wild beast", Alfred muttered.

"And I couldn't be more proud", the Count said lightly. "Now, stop complaining and let me concentrate."

The human made a face at the vampire, but turned his face away then and stared out of the window. He let his mind drift, thinking of all kinds of things except for one that he perhaps should have been pondering: the fact that he was becoming more and more comfortable in his prison.

* * *

**A/N: **A short clarification on Krolock's age: I definitely agree that there are portrayals where Krolock is older than the age I chose here (and I personally think most of them are at least in their fourties, some are even older), but there are also some who come across as younger than that. I have to confess that this story's Krolock is more or less based on Ivan Ozhogin's portrayal, and I think his Krolock could be physically about on his mid-thirties.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

The tailor – a man named Herr Keller – had come all the way from Budapest. He was a short, graying man with a neatly trimmed goatee and fine clothes that implied he was not your ordinary dress-maker. Then again, Alfred shouldn't probably have been surprised. Knowing Herbert, it was likely that the viscount accepted no less than the best when clothes were considered.

"This one is really good. He's served us before, and I'd have him as our regular tailor if it was easier to conceal the fact that we don't age", Herbert had commented earlier.

Herr Keller was a true professional, a tailor for the rich and noble; during his career, he had seen enough of odd things to not pay much heed to the Krolocks' strange schedule, or the general oddness of the castle. Only his assistant – a young man, maybe couple years older than Alfred – seemed to be taken aback by their customers. On the other hand, that much was understandable considering the looks Herbert wouldn't stop giving to the young apprentice. Alfred expected to the Count to disclipine his son, but the older vampire merely seemed amused by his son's antics.

The setting was absurdly familiar: two men from far away, one young and in the process of being trained by the older one, here in a castle inhabited by strange creatures... But, unlike Alfred, they were'nt fated to fall in the web that was the Count von Krolock's kingdom. Apparently he or his flock never bit those he did business with – a fact that seemed to immensely annoy Herbert, as that meant the only thing he could do was just to ogle.

"I'd rather not have a word go around that notorious professionals go missing in these parts", Krolock had said the night Herr Keller had arrived with his assistant.

"That didn't seem to bother you when you attempted to serve the Professor as a dinner", Alfred pointed out, but that just made the vampire smile in somewhat spooky manner.

"Like I said – _notorious", _he answered smugly.

_Good thing the Professor isn't hearing that, _Alfred thought to himself, _otherwise he might even hit Krolock with that umbrella of his. _That made him imagine the old, gray-haired Professor chasing and hitting the Count over the head with the umbrella, and it was all he could do not to snigger out loud.

The work began on the next day, but Herbert had forbidden them from "doing anything major", because he wanted to be there to observe (or conduct) while the tailor and his assistant worked. So the afternoon was mostly spent by the assistant – named Thomas – taking Alfred's measurements and Herr Keller familiarizing himself with Herbert's plans while he kept an eye on his apprentice's work.

Thomas turned out to be moderately friendly, if a bit nosy and talkative, but he seemed efficient in what he did. He loved to talk, and a long while was just spent with him reciting news from the big world to Alfred. It was pretty nice, actually, knowing what was going on while he was stuck here. Not that the information would be in any way helpful for him, but at least this way he could feel some sort of connection with the world he had left behind.

"So, are you related to His Excellency or what?" Thomas finally asked when he had finished with the news and had quickly recited the story of how he had come to work for his employer.

"No... I'm just a guest", Alfred said awkwardly. He couldn't really tell the truth, could he? Even if he did, he doubted Thomas would even believe him. He knew that himself at least would have had very hard time believing this.

"A guest? What brought you here in the first place then? I mean no disrespect, but this castle is really in the backwoods", the assistant inquired.

"Ah... we have this common aqcuaintance, and... I came to see her. When she left, the Count... mm, invited me to stay for a while", Alfred explained. Well, it was at least partly true...

"I see. It does seem awfully generous of him to provide you with an entire wardrobe though", Thomas pointed out.

"Yes, I suppose so. But Herbert insisted..." the younger man said, trying to quickly think of a topic that had nothing to do with him being here.

"Hmm. Now, lift your arms..." Thomas said and focused on his work for a moment.

"Did you pass by that village nearby when you came here?" Alfred asked cautiously.

"We did. We stopped to water the horses at the local inn", the other man answered absentmindedly. "Odd people, I tell you... Very obsessed with garlic, too. I tried to ask about that but they seem to be allergic to questions or something."

"Might you have seen a young woman at that inn? About my age, with auburn hair?" the young student asked, hope racing inside him. For obvious reasons, he didn't even pay attention to Thomas' observations considering the locals and their attitude towards garlic and curious outsiders.

"In fact I did. She looked kind of angry though... and sort of miserable. She was having a fight with her mother, if I understood correctly", Thomas said.

"A fight? About what?" Alfred asked, suddenly feeling worried for her.

"I didn't mean to eavesdrop – it was an accident, really – but it looked like her mother wants her to marry... this girl, she really wasn't so excited about that particular idea. Between the two of us, I think she has someone else entirely in her mind..."

Alfred stood silent, his heart full of both fear and hope. Fear for the possibility of her marrying another while he remained rotting here and hope for how it seemed like she was waiting for him... was perhaps even rejecting her husband-candidate because of him! He closed his eyes and forced himself to take long, deep breaths; his heart raced and urged him to leave this instant, to find her and tell her how he cared for her... how he would find a way to escape without endangering her, and then they would leave these dark woods together and find the life they had always been meant to have...

But, for now, he needed to stay calm. He would have to think this through before he made his move.

"... Alfred? Is something wrong?" Thomas' voice brought him finally back from his anxious thoughts.

"Uhh, what?" he stammered in confusion.

"Ah, there you are. What were you thinking of so intently?" the tailor's apprentice asked with a grin. "Was it that girl? Do you know her?"

"Sort of", Alfred said, blushing. "Sorry. I suppose I forgot myself for a moment..."

"I can see that", Thomas smirked. Then he stepped back. "Now, I'm all done. That viscount better turn up soon so we can start working on the fabrics."

* * *

The next night, when Herbert and the tailors were too busy arguing about the plans and the fabrics, Alfred went to see the Count. To be honest, he wasn't that interested in the process of making new clothes for him (in his opinion, his old clothes were perfectly fine), and now that they had his measurements, they wouldn't even need him for a while before the fitting.

A soft sound of violin guided Alfred to one of the old rooms at the left wing of the castle. He knew the vampire often preferred to play there, both for solitude and because of good acoustics. The tune was melancholic, like the most of things the Count liked to play. It had been something of a surprise to learn that Krolock had such love for music and playing, but then again, with unending life one probably had to come up with some sort of distractions to pass the time.

Knowing not to disturb Krolock while he was in the middle of a song, Alfred remained on the doorway, watching the vampire play. His eyes were shut and there was a calm expression on his face – one could even have described it as serene. The young human hadn't noticed it before, but there was something almost graceful about that pale face when it was so relaxed.

The tune ended and the vampire lowered his violin, turning to face Alfred.

"Well?" he asked curtly; the human had already learned that the Count could be impatient and irritable if disturbed when he was playing.

"I came to ask if... if it would be all right for me to go out for a bit tomorrow", Alfred said slowly, making Krolock snort.

"What makes you think courtyard is suddenly forbidden from you?" he inquired.

"I didn't mean inside the castle walls. I was thinking that maybe I could go for a walk outside, catch a little sun and fresh air..." the human explained, intently observing the vampire's face in case asking this was a bad idea and he needed to back off immediately. "I would come back, of course. I don't mean to leave for good. I'd just like to stretch my legs a bit."

The Count stared at him silently, his expression blank.

"And you would return?" he finally asked.

"Of course. Do you think I'd have come to ask for permission to go if I was meaning to escape?" Alfred answered quickly. Krolock remained quiet for couple moments more and then lifted his violin back on its place.

"Fine. You may go. But you should be back by sunset, or I might come and look for you... or her. Are we clear?"

"Crystal clear", Alfred answered with a huge smile and left the room before the vampire could change his mind.

* * *

Originally, Alfred had meant to leave the castle in the morning and hurry down to the village, to find Sarah. Obviously it'd require some ruse once he got there, because he didn't want anyone else than her seeing him. Otherwise, a word of his visit might reach the Count's ears and the vampire would probably just make the wrong conclusions in that case. Or worse: he'd make exactly the _right _conclusions.

If he had all day in his hands, it'd be moderately easy, and he'd have enough time to get back in time too, since of course he wouldn't be able to run away with her right away. Both of them would have to make their preparations.

However, going to the village in the morning proved to be impossible. First, Herr Keller had actually managed to get some clothes into the fitting condition and requested Alfred to stand half a morning as a model doll. Then they wanted to join him for a lunch, and that took even more of his precious time. In the end, it was afternoon when he was finally able to sneak out. Koukol had been instructed to open the gate for him, and so he left for the very first time ever since that fateful night he and the Professor had arrived. Back then, it had been winter; now it was spring.

Leaving the gates behind filled him with the most curious feeling. He could almost taste the freedom that lay at his grasp, yet he knew it wasn't his to take yet. This was only a brief flight for him before he returned back to his cage, but soon – hopefully – he'd be freed again for good and he'd never have to see this place again.

Knowing he couldn't waste time, Alfred picked up a good pace as soon as he was in the forest again. He had been worried he wouldn't find the way back to the village, but it appeared now that the snow was gone, there actually was a path, which he followed. It looked like long ago, the path had been an actual road and frequently used. He had no questions as to why it wasn't any more.

The journey back to the village took more time than he had remembered, and he could feel tightness in his breast as he walked. If he didn't make it in time back to the castle, the Count would come... He could take whatever the vampire had in store, but Sarah? Alfred didn't want to risk that.

When he was near his destination, Alfred thought about leaving the path and approaching the village from the forest, but it appeared luck was on his side that day. When he was already in the bushes, he could hear a singing voice – a familiar one, at that – and with a startled yelp, he fell down.

On the path that lead towards the castle there was Sarah, just as beautiful and delicate and graceful as ever. She was singing to herself as she strode, a look of determination on her face. For the longest moment, he could only watch her, as if she was some sort of beacon of light to renew his hope and will to fight.

The young woman had almost passed him when Alfred finally found his voice again and shouted for her. She froze where she stood, glancing about as she tried to find the source of the noise.

"Sarah!" Alfred stammered as he stumbled from the bushes. That wasn't really the grand entrance he had hoped for, but he could barely even think of that now. His breast was full of joy at the sight of her and all he wanted to do was to grab her and hug her tight... maybe even kiss her...

"You!" she exclaimed. Immediately, her face turned white and frightened.

"Sarah, I came to find you – we don't have much time-" Alfred tried to say, but before he could finish, she had dug a crucifix from her dress and was shoving it towards him. He fell silent and stared her in confusion.

"Why isn't it working? They said it would!" she babbled to herself in panic. "Please! Don't bite me! I don't want it to be you!"

"Bite you? Why would I- Sarah, I'm not a vampire!" Alfred said quickly, throwing his arms in the air as if that somehow revealed his true human nature. She frowned.

"But how? Why? I don't understand! You've been _there _for months and you still expect me to believe they haven't turned you?" she exclaimed with growing confusion.

"Of course they haven't! I'm just as human as before!" Alfred said. "I'm even walking in the sun, don't you see? They sleep during the day!"

Sarah, however, still seemed quite suspicious.

"Then why haven't they turned you?" she asked.

"I don't know, and it doesn't matter. Listen, I've come to talk to you, but we need to be quick, because I have to be back by sunset..." he began and then hesitated a bit. "Sarah, I came to ask if... if you cared about me."

"Cared?" Sarah echoed, then sighing. "Alfred, you're cute and everything, but you're being silly now. I never loved you, and I never will. It was very foolish of you to follow me to the castle in the first place..."

The young man stared at her; it was now his turn to feel confusion. Ever so slightly, fear was starting to mix with it.

"But... but... you said... weren't you refusing marriage because of me?" he asked quietly.

"Where have you heard such thing? I've been saying no because I don't want to marry _anyone, _least of all that idiot Mama has been trying to push at me! I need to get out of here, and the only way that is going to happen is with the Count's help!" Sarah said, sounding quite determined.

"The Count...?" Alfred asked with a frown. "Sarah, if you really think you can get help _there... _Listen, I can take you away from here. If you would just escape with me... I'd take you anywhere you wanted!"

"_You? _Take me out of here? Oh please! Do tell me, how would we live? Me, a dead innkeeper's daughter and you, a student who ran away!" she scolded.

"I didn't run away! I gave my life so that you could be safe!" Alfred shouted.

"I never wanted to be safe! I didn't want you to do anything! I wanted to be free, and I was going to get it until you began meddling! And now he is going to give you what was meant for me!" Sarah yelled back, her voice rising dangerously. "It's not fair!"

"Don't be stupid! Do you really think it's _fair _that I had to stay behind while you got to leave? I'm imprisoned in a castle full of bloodsucking creatures, I'll probably never see my home again, and it's very likely that my life will end as a dinner for a vampire! Don't you see how that's not freedom?" he said desperately. He wanted to grab her shoulders and shake some sense into her, but Sarah seemed to be beyond all reason.

"You're just being blind!" she snapped.

"I believe it's exactly the other way around", he shot back. "He doesn't want you – he'd rather kill you than turn you into a vampire and give you some twisted version of freedom! My staying in the castle is the only thing that is currently keeping you alive!"

"I didn't want your sacrifice! Just as I don't want you! As if anyone could want such a stupid, wimpy thing as you are!" she screamed, and he fell silent then, utterly shocked. How could she say such thing? Surely, she couldn't mean it!

Sarah seemed to calm a bit then and she sighed. Rubbing at her temples, she looked at him with dark, angry eyes. Alfred couldn't speak, couldn't even feel – the only thing inside him was emptiness.

"It doesn't matter. I _am _going to be free, one way or another. Goodbye!" she muttered and turned around to walk back to the village.

He stood there, watching at her for a long time. He barely noticed the hot tears that were streaming down his face or the coldness inside his heart. Instead, he was just watching what he had thought of as his hope and future leave and stomp all over his dreams as she went.

After some time he turned and let his legs carry him where they will. He didn't really look where he was going until he finally fell down under an old, majestic spruce. Sobs were shaking him now and he let them come out as he grieved for the love he had never even had... he had sacrificed his life for a girl who would have rather died and become a bloodsucking creature than see anything good in what he had done for her. He had thought she liked him – could even love him – but now realized it had been all in his mind.

Sarah didn't care for him. And he had become a prisoner to a vampire for nothing.

* * *

Alfred came around again some time later. He must have fallen asleep under the tree, exhausted by tears and the sheer emotional distress.

It hadn't been such a good idea though: the sun was already descending towards horizon and colouring the sky with all the shades of red and orange as it went. A sharp gasp escaped Alfred's mouth as he realized just how late it was.

He had to get to the castle.

Had he staggered very far from the path, this all could have turned out very disastrous. However, the universe did have enough mercy on him to have left him near enough for him to see the path leading up to the castle. Stumbling over a tree root as he did, Alfred rushed forth.

Her words had pierced his heart and broken it, but no matter what Sarah Chagal did, Alfred could not let her die. She was just being silly, he told himself. She would come around... some time. It would have been easy to avenge her disinterest and disdain, but Alfred wasn't the sort of person to let someone die. Not when he could choose otherwise... not when it depended on _him. _

The sacrifice was still bitter, however – even more so than before. Yet he knew he could make it, even if it would be the death of him. Perhaps it was stubborness, he didn't know – he just wanted to believe his actions counted for _something _at least. If he let himself believe otherwise, he was sure he'd go mad.

_I'll never become famous or great or even smart. But at least I did one good thing with my life. _

And maybe it wouldn't be so bad after all. He had seen that co-existing with the Krolocks wasn't always all bad. Herbert could actually be nice and funny and smart, and the Count could be a fascinating conversationalist and a decent violinist... _and a good kisser..._

Those were Alfred's thoughts as he ran towards the castle. He had been a pretty good runner when he had been younger, but the lack of exercise proved to be a hindrance too. His lungs seemed to be on fire and it felt like someone was stabbing him on his side, but something kept him going. All the while, sun was setting and it wasn't long before the Count would rise from the crypt and hear that he hadn't returned yet...

Just as the last rays of sun kissed the earth, Alfred could see the gates of Castle von Krolock on the front of him.

* * *

He was still catching his breath as he dragged into the great hall. He was sweaty and gross and his legs ached from the sudden exertion, but he had made it in time and no one had to die.

Krolock was in the hall too, fastening his his cloak absentmindedly when Alfred came in. When the human shut the great door behind him, the vampire lifted his eyes and looked at the young man with something that resembled a smile.

"Ah, there you are. Your timing is impeccable – I was just about to leave", he said.

"Well, I said I'd come back", Alfred pointed out and wiped his forehead.

"Have you been running?" the Count asked curiously, stepping closer.

"Uhh... yes. I sort of fell asleep in the forest and it was almost sunset when I woke up. I'd have come back earlier if I hadn't", the human said, feeling a bit embarrassed.

"Fell asleep? Miraculous, what fresh air does to you", Krolock commented, slightly amused. Then he noticed Alfred's bloodshot eyes. "Alfred – have you been crying?"

"Of course not!" the young man said quickly. Admitting something like that to the Count was the last thing he wanted to do. However, his answer made the vampire snort.

"I know that look. I've seen my share of tearful youths. Did something happen?" he demanded.

"I... I just had a bad case of homesickness, is all", Alfred said. He wondered if it was possible at all to feel any more embarrassed than he already was.

"Oh. I see", Krolock said quietly, regarding him thoughtfully.

"It's all right. I came back. Like I promised", the human said and shrugged. A strange expression appeared on the vampire's face and suddenly, he moved close and caught Alfred's chin.

"I fully expected you to not to return", he said softly, and for a moment, his face hovered dangerously near – the human could even feel the cool breath on his skin. Then he inhaled and grimaced. "Go and have a bath. You stink."

"As Your Excellency commands", Alfred said (albeit shakily) and with his heart fluttering in the most strange manner, he went upstairs.

* * *

**A/N: **I know Sarah comes across as very unpleasant in this chapter, but I don't think that's her actual personality. She can be nice and sweet, but here she's just very frustrated and desperate because of how things have turned out. Also, she's jealous because she thinks her dream is being handed to someone else. I think that's an understandable reason for her behavior here - Alfred just doesn't realize that because he's so confused and surprised.

I know we're moving slow right now, but I think it's necessary for this particular piece, and especially for Alfred/Krolock to work in any way at all. So bear with me, and stay tuned for the next chapter!


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

That night, Alfred couldn't sleep.

It was very late and he was feeling tired, but his mind was racing too quickly for him to achieve any sort of peace. Sarah's cruel words kept playing in his mind and the pain they caused didn't seem to go numb no matter how hard he wished. He had shed all his tears in the forest, but the sorrow and hurt remained. Somehow, it was even more painful when he couldn't cry.

He had just been trying to do the right thing... yet at every turn, that attempt seemed to fall down on him. And the one he had tried to save couldn't even see anything good about it!

Sarah had been his beacon of light and hope. Dreams of her had given him strength and helped to push through. Now that shimmer had proved to be false, and he was left stumbling in the dark. He had never felt quite as lost as he did now, for he had always seemed to have a goal to drive him: first, it had been with the Professor, to vanquish the powers of darkness and then to save Sarah, and to have a life with her. Now he had no destination at all.

Alfred buried his face in his pillow and tried to think of nothing, but immediately her face appeared in his mind, and he could hear her voice again, telling how she could never love him – how _no one _could ever want him... How absurd it was that she was wishing for someone like the Count when Alfred was right there in the front of her... But then, she wasn't in the search of same things as the young man. Well, maybe that wasn't true. He wanted freedom just as much she did. There was the one question he couldn't answer: how could she not understand that her desired path was a road of destruction rather than freedom?

After a while, he got up and padded quietly to the window, lifting the heavy curtain although it was too dark to see outside. He could hear the wind and the quiet patter of rain against the glass, and the sound made him shiver. Alfred could see his own face reflected against the dark surface of the window: he looked pale and kind of sick, and there were dark shadows under his bloodshot eyes. He sighed and let the curtain fall down again, turning his back towards the window. He briefly considered the bed, but then decided he wouldn't be able to sleep anyway. Perhaps some walking would help.

When he had put on some clothes, Alfred took a candle and left his chamber. The corridors were dark and empty, although he could hear the quiet whispers and movings of the night creatures that inhabited the castle. None of them crossed his path, however; ever since the scene at the graveyard, the vampires had been careful not to meet him face to face.

He walked with no decided destination, listening to the silence and watching the shadows his candle cast on the walls. It was a spooky place, really, and he remembered how scared he had been here on his first nights. It had felt like being trapped in a nightmare. Now, however, he barely even noticed the dark atmosphere that had so terrified him in the beginning.

After wandering some time, he spotted a door ajar with soft firelight shimmering, and he approached the source of light.

It was the sitting door, he realized – he hadn't been paying attention where he was going and only recognized his surroundings when he stepped in.

Krolock sat on his usual place by the fire, writing on a small notebook he had propped up on his knee. He lifted his eyes and looked curiously at Alfred when the human came in.

"What are you doing out of bed?" the Count asked. Usually, this time of the night the young man was already fast asleep.

"I couldn't sleep", Alfred answered quietly, hesitating at the door.

"You're welcome to join me, if you want", the vampire said, nodding his head towards the other armchair by the fire. The other one gave a weak smile and took the seat opposite the Count.

Krolock examined Alfred's face quietly for a while.

"You look terrible. Is something wrong?" he asked then.

Alfred didn't answer at first, and he stared at his hands long before speaking. He was feeling weak and would just have wanted some comfort, maybe a hug even, but this was probably the last place he'd find it. The mere idea of the tall, reserved nobleman hugging anyone was ridiculous.

"I... do you think I'm wimpy?" he finally asked. His question made the Count raise his eyebrows in surprise.

"Why would you ask such thing?" he wondered, sounding genuinely astonished.

"Just tell me the truth. Am I wimpy?" Alfred asked, more forceful than he was really feeling currently.

"Of course not. You're braver than many a man I've known", Krolock said softly, lowering his notebook aside. He was looking somewhat curious now.

"That sounds nice, but I doubt it", Alfred sighed and pulled his knees against his chest.

"And why would I lie to you?" the Count asked. "Not many would have been able or ready to do what you did for your Sarah. I might be twisted in many ways, but I do recognize the bravery of that action."

"She's not my Sarah", the human mumbled miserably.

"Is that so? You've been telling me the exact opposite", Krolock pointed out. The human sighed again. How could it possibly hurt him any more if he just told the truth? Maybe the vampire would kill him and end his misery.

"I... I went to see her today. I meant to ask her to escape with me", he said, staring in to the flames.

"And she said no", the Count guessed. Alfred couldn't imagine why that was, but the vampire didn't sound angry at all. Then again, he had said that his guest/prisoner could leave if he truly wanted... One had to wonder what kind of prisoner it made you if you could leave any time you wanted. Maybe he should have called himself a hostage.

"She said no", he echoed. "She also told me she never loved me and that... that I'm stupid and wimpy and no one could ever want me."

"I could have told you that from the beginning. Don't look at me like that – I didn't mean the last part. I only meant that I knew she didn't love you", Krolock said, considering him with thoughtful eyes.

"I wish I had seen that in the first place", Alfred sighed. "Would have saved me from lot of pain."

"But you would still have chosen the same path as you did, wouldn't you?" the vampire pointed out. "Because like you said, it's the right thing to do."

"Yes. I suppose so", the human said quietly. "Currently I'm just hoping I could be more like you. That your evil influence really had taken over."

"Then you wouldn't be Alfred", the Count pointed out, odd smile quickly appearing on his face.

"Why do you care so much? I'd have thought you'd have been happy to see me suffer", the young man retorted.

"Why do you think I would take joy in your suffering?" Krolock asked and tilted his head slightly.

"I don't know. You're a vampire. You're... bad", Alfred said and shrugged.

"I might be - sometimes. But that is not all I am", the vampire said quietly. The other one turned his gaze to the Count, once again trying to see through but not quite succeeding. The clear blue eyes remained just as unspeaking as always.

"What more is there to you, then?" the young man asked, but Krolock just smiled.

"If you can tell me that exact same thing about yourself, then I shall answer your question", he said in a soft voice. Alfred lowered his gaze, staring at the floor. It wasn't something he could answer: after all, he had been the one to ask if he was stupid coward.

"I have seen countless men lose their lives, and not many of them showed the kind of courage you did that night. Believe me, you're anything but wimpy or stupid. Alfred, you shouldn't pay much heed to her words. Sarah is an unthinking child and considering that, what she said is of little consequence", the Count said, his voice unexpectedly comforting. "People like her... you could say that she has very narrow sight."

"I know. I shouldn't let it get to me", Alfred said quietly. "But I did, because she... well, she was everything. And I suppose I just want to feel like _someone _wants me. Like I'm... worth something."

He didn't know why he was telling these things, these deep desires of his heart, to the vampire who had so cruelly bound him to this place. Perhaps it was just the lack of sleep and emotional exhaustion. Then again, it was also kind of _good _to be able to put his thoughts into words, no matter who was listening.

"In the end, you have to find that feeling in yourself. If you can't be worth something in your own eyes, how can you be that in anyone else's?" the vampire asked. "Now, don't look so sad. It'll get better."

"I hope so", Alfred said in a faint voice. The Count's insight to the situation was actually very surprising when he thought of it. Those words weren't certainly something he'd have expected to hear from a vampire. Who knew Krolock could say something so... _human? _He looked at the vampire again, frowning. "I didn't know you'd even know how to... uh..."

"Offer kind words of comfort?" the vampire retorted and a wry smile briefly touched his face. "I told you I've seen my share of tearful youths... You're not the only distressed young man I've encountered."

"You mean... Herbert?" Alfred said, somewhat surprised. _Distress _and _Herbert _weren't things that mixed as far as he knew.

"Who else? Herbert _now _is one thing, but he too was once – albeit long ago – very young and inexperienced. It wasn't easy for him to be perceived as... as what others thought as _different. _And having such a peculiar father as myself didn't certainly help his position", the Count said slowly, his eyes shadowed by memories of long ago. "I know I wouldn't have been his first choice to confide, but perhaps my own personal oddities made it so that he was able to open up and I could understand him in turn."

Alfred listened quietly to these words. If anything, it painted a very unexpected yet... _touching _picture of the two vampires. He wondered how it felt to have that kind of bond. Before he could think of this more, the vampire spoke again.

"And what of your motivation to stay here? Will you still risk your life for someone who thinks so little of your sacrifice?" the lord of the castle asked then, and there was an strange glint in his eyes.

"I'll stay. At least for now. Maybe she'll come to change her mind... Maybe she just needs time", the human mused. The Count looked at him and to Alfred's surprise, there was something almost friendly about the vampire's expression.

"Or maybe she won't. It's not much of a hope to think of such thing, when the only likely result is that you'll have your heart broken again. You can carry on that road, but it won't give you peace of mind", he said in a soft voice.

"You'd have me leave then?" Alfred asked.

"I won't have you do anything. I'm merely giving you my opinion", Krolock said nonchalantly. "Which, I imagine, doesn't weigh much in your consideration. But like I've said before, I'm not making you stay if you don't wish to do so."

"Then I'll have to think of something else", the human whispered. He fell silent, and they spoke no more.

* * *

The fire had died long ago and the cool daylight flooded in from the windows when Alfred woke up. He had fallen asleep in the armchair by the fire and his neck was stiff for sleeping in an awkward position, but he also felt a bit better, as if he had left some of his sorrow into the darkness of the night. Krolock was gone, obviously, retired for his daily rest in the crypt.

At first he was so drowsy that he didn't notice it, but when started to get up, Alfred realized why he wasn't cold at all despite the fire going out: he had been wrapped in a long, black cloak. For the longest time, he just sat there, admiring the fine fabric and sliding his fingers over the soft surface. He was certain he'd have known whose it was even if he hadn't seen the Count wearing it so many times...

There had been comfort – the kind a vampire was able to give – and for Alfred's broken, long-suffering heart it was surprisingly enough.

With a sigh, he buried his face into the soft fabric of the vampire's heavy cloak.

* * *

It took about two weeks for the two tailors to finish their work. In the end, they had completed two pairs of new pants, a new coat, couple of shirts, undergarments and several other things. They'd return to Budapest and some time during the summer, Herr Keller would send more (trousers, shirts and a new winter cloak to name few). As their speedy working, it wasn't like there was much more for them to do in the Castle von Krolock.

It was surprisingly difficult to watch the two men go. Not only because Alfred was jealous of their freedom, but also because it had been nice to have some human company for once.

Herbert was somewhat disappointed for their departure too: "Now I'll have to go back to ogling at you. Not that you aren't cute – _you are – _but that Thomas boy wasn't off-limits like you are."

"Did you already forget that you're not allowed to touch your father's business partners?" Alfred reminded the vampire as they watched the tailors leave from the castle wall.

"Hmph. That rule only includes _biting", _Herbert said cheekily.

"As if you could have one without the other", the human commented, which made the viscount grin.

"True. You know me well", he said lightly. Then he turned around, leaning against the rampart and considering Alfred with a thoughtful expression on his graceful face.

"What?" the human asked. Herbert thinking deeply about things usually meant trouble for Alfred.

"I'm just wondering", the viscount said with a slight smile.

"Wondering what?" the other inquired, hoping it wasn't anything too bad.

"When did you become so comfortable with us around? I remember how you used to be all jittery... like you were going to be eaten any moment. Basically you walked with your back against the walls", Herbert said, stroking his chin.

"I suppose you get used to it after a while. One can't live in a fear like that without either adapting or becoming mad", Alfred mused and turned to look over the walls again. The tailors had already disappeared into the woods.

"Which one you did? Did you adapt or become mad?" the vampire asked with a grin, which made the human snort.

"I became mad, obviously."

Herbert laughed.

"Fair enough. I suppose our company can be considered harmful for one's sanity..." the vampire said lightly.

Alfred hemmed and leaned his elbows on the rampart, breathing in the cool night air.

"Do you miss your home much?" the viscount asked after a while.

"I do. But somehow, it's harder and harder for me to see home in my mind's eye these days. I... I feel like I'm not really connected any more. Like I'm a ship lost in the sea without any idea of where I'm from or where I should go. Home is... more like an idea than actual place I could return to", Alfred said quietly and sighed then. "Forgive me. I sound stupid."

"I don't think you do. I can understand the feeling of being lost, even if that might surprise you", Herbert commented. "Is it because of Sarah?"

"Probably, yes. As long as I could trust in her, I felt like... like there was a way home. Now I don't know any more. She's not really who I thought her to be... but I suppose that includes me too", Alfred mused.

"Might you think that could include also us?" Herbert asked. "I mean, could we be something you didn't expect us to be?

"Well, that might be true... after all, you aren't jumping on me any more. Or acting condescendingly at me, like you did in the beginning", Alfred agreed. "Why is that, anyway?"

"I'm not supposed to tell this, but Vati asked me to be nicer to you. Not that it's my only reason. You're actually pretty likeable when one gets to know you", Herbert answered smoothly.

"He asked you to be nice to me?" the human wondered out loud. He hadn't expected to hear such thing.

"If I should guess, I'd say he was thinking you were too lonely", the viscount said.

"Why would he care about that?" the young man asked, frowning.

"You're still asking that question? Really, Alfred! We're not as unfeeling as you think! Despite everything, Vati wants you to enjoy your stay here – well, at least as much as it's possible considering the circumstances", Herbert said, inspecting his shining nails.

"But why?" Alfred asked, even more confused now.

"Because... he's lonely too", the vampire answered quietly, frowning. "I can't be everything he needs, but maybe..."

"Maybe what?" the human demanded.

"Nothing. I've said too much already", Herbert said, straightening himself. "Let's leave it at that, shall we?"

Without another word, the viscount hurried away, leaving the completely dumbfounded Alfred to stand alone at the castle wall.

* * *

During the winter, snow had covered most of the castle grounds, so Alfred had gone completely unknowing of the old, wild garden that resided at the other side of the large stone building. One could even say that he had been thinking maybe living things wouldn't even grow in a place like this.

However, one day when he was walking outside and strolled to the other side of the castle, he came across a wild nest of vines, weeds, bushes and other untended flora. The place was in such disarray that at first he didn't even realize it had once been a garden, but recognition gradually set in. He could spot couple of old stone benches and several jars, some of which were more or less broken, and remains of something that could have been a gazebo. There seemed to even have been a kitchen orchard.

Although the place was wild like many things about the castle were these days, he could see it had been a beautiful spot once. He could almost see how it would look in summer: flowers everywhere, bushes neatly tended, and the vines trimmed... The mental image brought a smile to Alfred's face. It was strange yet somehow nice to imagine such beauty here.

Later on the same night, when Herbert had left him and the Count and retired for his hours long bath, the human decided to ask about the wild garden.

"Oh, that old jungle?" Krolock said without lifting his gaze from his book. "My wife used to tend it, and my son after her... but it has been left alone ever since Herbert became a vampire. You could say he was very much occupied by other concerns after that..."

"I was thinking... maybe I could try and tend to it?" Alfred asked hopefully. His question made the vampire lift his face, eyebrows slightly raised.

"Why would you want to do such thing?" Krolock asked.

"Well, I'd have something to fill my days with, at least. And I suppose it runs in the family. My mother was quite fond of gardening", the human explained.

"I see no reason why you can't. You may do as you please with that thicket. But don't expect it to be easy or quick", the vampire said. "You'll have to work hard if you wish to make that place look like a garden again."

"I don't mind. It's not like I have better things to do with my time", Alfred said with a wry smile. Something similar passed on the Count's face before he returned to his book and the human was left alone with his thoughts, sitting on the window sill like he often did.

"Are you still considering escaping with Sarah?" Krolock asked after a long silence.

"Why do you ask?" Alfred asked back in surprise. Truth was – and it astounded him as well now that he actually realized it – that he hadn't even thought of her so much lately.

"In case I find you gone some day", the vampire answered without lifting his eyes from his book.

"For your information, I haven't thought about it. So you can rest easy – at least for the moment", the human said.

"Hmm. I'm glad to hear that. And anyway... should you ever wish to leave, I'd like you to say goodbye at least", Krolock said quietly.

"Doesn't that defeat the whole idea of escaping?" Alfred asked, frowning.

"Maybe. But I promise I'd give you a headstart", came the answer.

"Just for a goodbye?"

"Yes. Just for a goodbye."

Alfred couldn't help but shiver.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Alfred had known even without saying that cleaning up the jungle of a garden wouldn't be easy, but it still proved out to be even larger a task than he had expected. It was made harder by the fact that most of the tools were on various states of rustiness or just disappeared, and the growth was so thick with all kinds of unwanted things.

He didn't complain, though. Challenge was good – that was something the Professor had often said – and it gave him something to think of and focus on. Not that he was _that _miserable these days. Actually, it was startling how _un_miserable he was. Of course, he never quite stopped missing his home or the freedom, but the absence of those things was somehow becoming easier to bear. Had he been asked, Alfred wouldn't have been sure as to what was the reason for this. Sometimes, it scared him.

Despite the hardship it was, working at the garden was also satisfying in the sense that every day, he could see the progress and his own handiwork, and he knew he was working to make something grow and live. Not to mention it was an easy way to pass time.

"You're not going to ruin your new clothes while you root in that jungle", Herbert announced, though. "I'll look through my wardrobe – there's bound to be something old and unfashionable there – and you can use those while you tend your garden."

Herbert, however, was so much taller that he needed to shorten those clothes considerably. But the vampire seemed to be happy to be able to do some sewing of his own.

"When he was younger, he was always sewing something. Quite a maniac about clothes, if I may say – I cannot tell where he inherited that particular trait. But don't tell him that I said so", Krolock commented dryly. "Oh, and Koukol asked me to inform you that if you keep bringing in soil and other litter, he'll have your head."

"Duly noted, Your Excellency", Alfred said, trying to hide his smile.

"Wonderful. We don't need you tarnishing the place too. You wouldn't believe the mess the ancient vampires tend to make... those creatures have no sense of tidiness whatsoever", the Count muttered, half to himself.

As the young man was rather fond of his head and willing to keep it still, he was as tidy as he could, although he did feel a bit silly working in Herbert's old, light pink trousers and a shirt with floral decorations. As far as the viscount was concerned, that was just fitting for someone working on a garden. Alfred didn't really agree but kept that thought to himself. It wasn't like the weeds could see and laugh at him, after all.

"How is the garden?" Krolock asked one night by a fire; he was reading, as usual, while the human was concentrated on picking dirt from under his nails. At the Count's question, he raised his head in surprise, for he hadn't expected such interest from the vampire.

"It's all right. I've managed to remove most of the vine and even plant some flowers. Those new tools Koukol brought have been of great use", he answered.

"Good. It's a pity that we've let the garden fall into a such condition... my wife used to be quite proud of it. She'd be delighted if she knew of your project", the Count said and then looked at Alfred. "I might even come some night and take a look on how you're proceeding."

"No! It's a mess, really, I don't want you to see it when it's unfinished. I'll show it to you once it looks more like a garden instead of a forest", the human said quickly.

"As you wish, then", the vampire agreed. Alfred really hadn't expected Krolock to giving in so easily, but in any case, it made him smile.

* * *

It had been a long day: Alfred had spent most of it outside working and he had only gotten in around noon. After a dinner and a long, hot bath he felt truly accomplished and curiously content, as if he had achieved something much greater that day. His mother, bless her soul, had used to say that pleasure and contentment was often found in simplest of things. It was turning out she had been right.

Humming quietly to himself, Alfred descended the stairs to the great hall and was padding through it when the great doors that lead inside were suddenly thrown open with considerable force. He stopped and looked curiously who was coming inside with such racket and was very astonished to see it was none other than the master of the castle.

Only, Alfred had never seen the vampire quite as... disgraceful. His clothes were disheveled and tattered, as if he had been rushing through every single bush in the forest. His movements were clumsy almost to the point of not being able to walk at all, and his pale skin seemed to have a strange grayish shade to it.

He practically fell inside, taking support from the wall and convulsed as if in the middle of extreme nausea.

"Your Excellency!" Alfred exclaimed in shock. "What is it? Are you hurt? What has happened?"

"Alfred", the vampire croaked and grimaced painfully. He almost fell down, but the human rushed to his side and wrapped one arm under his shoulders to keep the Count up and steady. Suddenly, he felt pathetically small next to the vampire's tall, lean frame. Furthermore, it felt kind of wrong to touch the older man like this, even if it was obvious he was in the need of assistance.

"I'm fine", Krolock managed to utter.

"Oh, don't be ridiculous!" Alfred snapped and took a steady grip of the vampire's midsection. "I'll get you sit down somewhere and then I'll go and find Herbert, maybe he'll know what to do..."

"No. Not him. I'm fine", the Count grunted.

"You're not fine! Stop being idiotic and let me help you sit down!" Alfred barked back.

"Really. Just get me to a bed and I'll be fine. I just need to lay down", the vampire breathed. "I don't want Herbert to see me now, not when I'm like this."

"What happened?" the human asked as he carefully helped the Count through the hall, observing the other in case of any sign that the vampire was about to fall down.

"I... I took blood from a drunk man. It's not dangerous... only painful", Krolock said and grimaced again.

"So you'll be all right?" Alfred assured.

"I will. Just help me into a bed and I'll survive", the vampire groaned, sounding impatient now.

The human briefly considered trying to get the Count into the crypt, but quickly decided against it. For one, he didn't want to try and usher the vampire, who was barely able to stand, down those steep and narrow stairs. Also, Krolock had said he didn't want his son to see him right now, which was bound to happen if they tried to get him into the crypt.

The nearest place – and one Herbert wouldn't hopefully wander in randomly – was Alfred's own bedroom. They would have to ascend one flight of stairs, but from the determined look on the Count's agonized face he hoped maybe they'd be able to make it there.

It was a painful task and Alfred had to struggle with all his might, but in the end, they did reach his chamber's door. Krolock was leaning heavily on him, more staggering than actually walking. The human was sweating and he felt he would fall down any moment too, but somehow he found strength in himself and managed to get the Count all the way from the great hall to his chamber. Once there, he helped the other one on the bed, and rather than sitting down, Krolock collapsed on his back. The situation seemed quite absurd: it was as if he were actually trying to handle a drunk Count rather than just one who was suffering from some strange vampire condition. Still, the mere idea was funny and precious. He even sniggered to himself as he took off the vampire's fine shoes from the legs that were dangling over the edge of the bed.

"What are you laughing at?" Krolock asked with a slightly pained voice.

"Nothing at all. You just rest", the human said quickly, not wanting the other think he was being laughed at. The Count might be helpless right now, but he still didn't want to give any reasons for anger.

As a former student, Alfred knew well of the merry life some of his comrades led: he knew of the nights spent in vapours of alcohol and the weak condition that usually followed. He wasn't sure if alcohol had the same effect on vampires, but for better or worse, he didn't want the Count nauseous and throwing up in his bed. So he grabbed the washing basin and placed it on the bed in case a vampiric hangover – if that was the correct expression – indeed included emptying one's guts.

He took off his own shoes and then climbed up on the bed. The vampire didn't seem terribly comfortable with feet dangling over the edge, so he grabbed the Count from under the shoulders and managed to pull him properly in the bed. His eyes were closed and for a moment the human thought maybe he had crashed down, but the Count groaned when Alfred dragged him backwards.

"Have you no mercy, you vile beast?" Krolock grunted in pain.

"I'm just trying to help here! It's your own fault for drinking blood from someone who wasn't sober", the young man retorted. "Didn't you know it would make you sick?"

"I did. I... I wasn't thinking when I drank from him", the Count muttered. That was a strange confession from someone who came across as so calculating.

"Well, you should have", Alfred puffed. He had managed to get the vampire into the bed, but he then realized his unfortunate housemaster was pretty much filling half of his lap: in the middle of his effort and without thinking, he had dragged the Count partly on the top of himself. It was probably for the better though. This way, he could watch that the other wouldn't throw up in the bed but rather in the washing basin. And anyway, his arms were aching and powerless from all his effort and he wondered if there was even strength left in him to move the other one away. For a moment, he shuffled about, trying to find as comfortable position as he could.

"How are you feeling?" he asked when he had settled down.

"Horrible. If you just would stop moving..." the vampire grunted with a shiver.

"You stop complaining! Without me, you'd probably have passed out in the hall", Alfred retorted.

"Hmm", the Count sighed.

"Tell me, why did you really drink from that drunkard in the first place, if you knew this would happen?" the human asked.

"I wished to forget for a moment", Krolock said quietly and a look of suffering passed on his face.

"Forget what?"

"It doesn't matter", the vampire said and grimaced. "Sometimes, the alcohol in the blood numbs you in the most sweet manner... You're not really drunk like humans are but rather just... empty. More often, however, this is what happens. The amount of alcohol in the blood has to be just right, but usually it isn't."

"Then you should have known better and not done it", Alfred scolded. He could barely believe he was lecturing His Excellency in this manner! He was fairly certain the vampire wouldn't have let it happen hadn't he been in such weak condition.

"I know", the other one sighed with the slightest shiver, an odd colour to his voice.

"... you're embarrassed?" the human realized in surprise.

"Wouldn't you be?"

"I suppose I would", the young man admitted, deciding it was better to not pay overly much attention to the Count's emotional state. "I've only been drunk once and after that I decided I don't want to do it again."

"A wise decision", Krolock muttered and then froze, again grimacing. "I'm quite nauseous."

"You're not going to throw up in my bed!" Alfred exclaimed and grabbed the basin, shoving it to the vampire's side. When the Count stooped over it, the human quickly grabbed the long silky hair and held it back as the other one gagged. He babbled silly things like _"it's okay, you'll be fine, I'm here" _as the vampire threw up for some time, until he sunk back in complete exhaustion. Basin was filled with dark, clotted liquid that looked and smelled very disgusting and it almost had Alfred gagging too. He pushed the basin carefully away, not wanting to spill any of it on his bed. Koukol would murder him if he managed to create that kind of a mess.

"Did that help?" he asked when the vampire wasn't shivering any more.

"A bit", came a low, hoarse answer.

"Do you think... fresh blood could make you feel better?" Alfred asked after a moment of hesitation.

"It would, but I cannot go and hunt at the moment. Even slightest movements hurt", Krolock said quietly.

"Then maybe... you could drink from me", the human blurted out before he could even stop and think of what he was offering.

"From you? You would freely offer your blood for me?" the Count asked.

"... yes."

"Are you certain?" the vampire sounded confused.

"Of course. If you don't drink much..." Alfred said, feeling a bit awkward now. What was he doing? His reason was screaming at him, telling he was about to do something very stupid.

"Then I shall not. A little blood is all I require anyway", Krolock answered, shifting a bit in Alfred's lap.

"Fine. What do I do?" the human asked. He couldn't back down now. The vampire might not be currently able to hold him accountable for his promise, but he would do so later – Alfred was convinced of that.

"Put your wrist on my mouth", the Count ordered and Alfred did so: he pulled back his shirt sleeve and then lowered his wrist carefully on the vampire's mouth, swallowing hard as he did so. Cool breath brushed against his skin, and then there were lips, which slowly parted to reveal the fangs. The pinch of them was familiar, but he still gasped as they were buried in his flesh.

Krolock took short, quick sips of his blood and Alfred closed his eyes. It wasn't as bad as he remembered, which was actually very surprising. To be honest, there was something almost _lulling _about his blood flowing into another being and his breath quickened with the strange sensation. He even thought there was something like music somewhere there and he was tempted to let himself be lost in it... The Professor would have been so excited to hear how it felt...

After taking what he needed, the vampire withdrew his fangs and licked the wound clean.

"Feeling better?" Alferd asked, his voice a bit shaky.

"Mm. Yes. Much better", the Count said; he too was sounding somewhat hazy, but that was no wonder given his current state.

"You're not so gray any more", Alfred observed.

"I'm gray?" the vampire asked in a low voice.

"You were. You looked horrible", the human told him. The Count sighed and fell silent.

Alfred didn't speak for a while either; he was examining the two small puncture wounds in his wrist. It was very neat and the wounds had already closed. He wondered if there would be a scar, like the there was on his neck where the Count had first bitten him.

"Your Excellency?" he asked after a while, but the vampire didn't answer. "Your Excellency? Count? Krolock?"

Then he noticed the peaceful expression on the other one's face. Surely there couldn't be nothing wrong with someone who looked so calm? The vampire had probably just fallen asleep. He couldn't really say, because how do you tell if a dead creature is still alive?

Alfred let out a small sigh, leaning his head on the bed post. It had been probably the strangest night of his stay in here... no, maybe even the strangest night of his entire life. He had taken care of a hungover vampire! Of all the things to witness and experience... The Professor, at least, would have been exhilarated. For a moment, he amused himself by imagining his old mentor observing the vampire, making notes as if there was no tomorrow and gleefully giggling when the unfortunate creature threw up. This pulled a small snigger out of him and Alfred grinned to himself.

The young man closed his eyes, not even realizing that he had been running his hand through the silky hair of the sleeping vampire for some time now. It had been such a long day and night...

* * *

Alfred only half-awoke when he was being moved in the bed. Someone was carefully placing him into a more comfortable position and wrapping a duvet around him.

"Mmh?" he let out a small incoherent noise; there was a pale face over him and cool fingers brushed over his cheek.

"Go back to sleep, Alfred. Everything is fine", a soft, calming voice whispered.

"Mhm", Alfred agreed and curled up under the duvets – they were annoyingly cool and he longed for warmth.

There was a softest graze of something cool and silky over his brow, almost like a kiss, and Alfred fell back into the sweet oblivion.

That night, he dreamt of the kiss in the vampire's bedchamber.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Afterwards, they didn't speak of that night again.

When Alfred woke up the next day, the vampire was already gone and the basin had been emptied and washed. There was no sign of what had happened but when he saw the Count that night, he could see gratitude reflected in his eyes. Apart from a quiet _"thank you" _which managed to confuse Alfred very profoundly, they didn't speak of it. Perhaps that was for the best. The young mand didn't know what he should have said anyway.

That incident, however, revealed to the young human just how deeply tangled he was in this web. It was almost as if falling into a wondrous dream and finding it was the reality, and that there everything was backwards. He wondered if it made him very wicked for being able to live so... well, _comfortably _with these bloodsucking creatures around him, but then, he had little choice.

And, if he was discovering something, it was that the Professor's theory of the vampires being little more than just walking, talking corpses with no intelligence or emotion wasn't really correct. True, some of them were very much like that: the older vampires that hibernated most of time were certainly more animals than anything, but some of them, like Herbert and the Count, also had something... not really humanity, but they weren't just animals either. They were _persons, _and although their hearts might not beating any more, it didn't mean they were unfeeling.

It was a startling realization and it made Alfred feel a bit uneasy, because it'd have been easier to continue thinking of them as cold and emotionless despite everything he had already witnessed. Still, it raised questions on right and wrong he couldn't answer, and plagued him with a thought that he found hard to not to think of: what it was like to be both sentinent and feeling creature, yet be constantly on the mercy of bloodlust greater than your own will?

* * *

Herbert was one of those people who were always picking up hobbies, but rarely managed to stay interested or invested in them very long. One night, he decided he wanted to learn to draw people instead of just costumes (he loved designing new clothes for himself and his father), and so he made Alfred sit as a model.

"Why don't you ask your father? I'm sure he's more exciting to draw than I am", Alfred tried to argue.

"Bah, as if he would! Vati doesn't like to be stared at, it annoys him. And when he's annoyed, he makes me annoyed too. You wouldn't believe how whiny he can actually be. And you're perfectly exciting to draw too", Herbert said, organizing an armchair and a small table as a setting for his drawing. "Now, sit down."

"But what if I get annoyed?" Alfred asked, though he knew that would hardly have any effect on Herbert.

"Honestly, your annoyance is a lot less irritating than Vater's. But then, he has had time to refine his irritatingness a lot longer than you have", Herbert said with a airy smile. "Now, stop being such a whiny baby and sit down."

"I'm not a whiny baby!" the human argued, but still did as he was told.

"Yes, you are", the viscount said with a grin and then bounced about the human, giving orders on how his unfortunate victim should sit and position his hands. Then he picked up his tools and began working.

Alfred sat fuming for a while, but after some time, his mind began to wander and fill with questions.

"Herbert... how were you turned into a vampire?" he asked.

"It was nothing special, really. I had been pleading for it a long time, and eventually Vati gave in. He bit me and I became a vampire", Herbert answered with a slight shrug, as if he was talking something as ordinary as the weather.

"You chose this yourself?" Alfred stuttered in confusion.

"In fact I did. Why does that surprise you so much?" Herbert inquired in turn.

"I just... I didn't think anyone would want this. I always just assumed he turned you by accident", the human said, frowning.

"It's not that bad, really. Well, for some it is, like poor Vati... but personally I don't really mind. I like being a vampire, to be honest. It actually has benefits. Vati wouldn't have changed me out of his own volition, of course... and he refused for a long time. But I tend to get what I want in the end", Herbert said, not even trying to hide his self-satisfaction.

"What is it like? To be turned?" Alfred asked, after being silent for a moment.

"You've been bitten, so you know how that feels... but when you're turned, it's ten times that. And then you just... fall into the darkness. Everything goes black. When you wake up, you're not human anymore and you can just smell and hear and _see _everything like you wouldn't believe... and you're _hungry. _So hungry that... well, you've never experienced anything like that, so I don't know how to compare it to anything you would understand", Herbert explained slowly. His hand had fallen into his lap, and it looked like he had forgotten all about his drawing.

"That sounds scary", the human said, shivering.

"I suppose it is. But it gets better after a while", Herbert said with a vague smile. "You know, that would have happened to you too if you hadn't made your deal with Vati."

"He was going to turn me?" Alfred asked, gulping.

"He was – or, rather, me. We had agreed he'd get Sarah and I'd have you", the viscount grinned. "Are you creeped out yet?"

"I am", the human said with a grimace. "That is horrible!"

"Really, don't be so horrified. You might even have liked being a vampire", Herbert said lightly.

"I doubt that", Alfred said dryly. "And with all respect, I'm not sure I would have wanted to... hmm, be had by you."

"Oh, don't I know that", the viscount smiled. "Well, it's your loss!"

"I think I'll manage", Alfred said, shaking his head. Herbert laughed.

"You should stop moving or I'll never get your face right", the vampire said, returning to his drawing. A silence fell between them for a while until new questions sprung in Alfred's mind. Not really that novel, though: it was something he had been secretly wondering about.

"I was thinking... has your father always been alone? I mean, after your mother..." his voice trailed off, not sure how uncomfortable or painful that topic might be for the viscount.

"After my mother got killed by my father?" Herbert finished calmly. "Don't look so upset – it's all right. I forgave that long ago. Of course I'm sad that she died and I'd have wanted her to live, but I also know how difficult it is when you're newly turned into a vampire... It's not a choice, really. And Vati punishes himself enough already because of it. He really doesn't need me doing that too."

Alfred nodded quietly. All things considered, being a vampire sounded scary to him.

"But to answer your question... he hasn't always been alone, but whenever there has been someone... it usually hasn't turned out very well", Herbert said at length and winced.

"What do you mean?" the human asked.

"He kills them or turns them. Killing has obvious consequences, and turning... it doesn't usually result in good things either. One could say that young vampires are a bit crazy, and it looks like very few of us are able to retain our old personalities. Vati turned out well from that point of view, as did I, but we are more of expections to the rule than anything... and even we seem quite fiendish to humans. So what I mean is that when he turned someone he was fond of, he usually ended up loathing that certain someone because they were nothing like what they had been before", Herbert explained.

Alfred fell silent, thinking of Herbert's words. Then he spoke again.

"Do you know why that is? That you and your father... uh, turned out well?" he asked.

"I cannot say. Sometimes I think I remained myself because I love my father. My resolve to become a vampire was so that he wouldn't have to be all alone, and that pulled me through. But I don't think that the one who turned him had any affection for him, so I don't know. Then again, it could've been his love for us... I mean, for me and my mother. Personally I think he wanted to see us one more time so bad that he managed to stay himself through the transformation. But perhaps we're just oddities of nature... if a vampire can be called such", Herbert said with a shrug.

"Who turned him, then?" Alfred inquired.

"He never told me and I never felt the need to ask. And really, what does it matter? After all this time, it hardly has any meaning any more", the viscount commented, stopping to regard the work he had done so far. "Hmm, this is turning out pretty good. Maybe I should consider becoming an artist."

Their conversation still interested Alfred more than any drawings of himself. He bit his lip and searched Herbert's face.

"Is turning me still on the schedule?" he asked warily, unable to hide a fine streak of fear from his voice.

"Only Vater knows that, if he has even planned that far", Herbert said lightly. Alfred nodded quietly at that, losing himself to his thoughts and an imagination of that terrifying pale-faced creature that had – however indirectly – started this all with burying its teeth into the Count's neck so many years ago.

* * *

Alfred had been rather wishing that the dream wouldn't come back, but that turned out to be a false hope.

It was the same as that night when he had dragged the sick Count into his room, and just as painfully vivid: he would dream of the kiss, the arms around him, the fangs piercing his skin and the flow of blood as he was rocked gently. The clear blue eyes watched him with a glimmer he could barely fathom, and there was a wicked smile on that mouth as it traced his own. He dreamt of giving in completely, of falling into the darkness – much like Herbert had said – and waking up into a world of night...

And it was sweeter than he would have thought, to embrace the dark like a lover, to let it flow through him until he was full of it, and _he _was the night... It was a strange dream and when he woke up startled, he was breathing hard and sweating.

There was a tight feeling somewhere inside him and with a groan, Alfred fell back into his bed, wishing for the aching inside go away.

Yet when he finally fell asleep around dawn, his mind found no solace.

It was a fight he couldn't win.

* * *

"Uhh... Herbert?"

"What is it, Alfie?" the viscount asked from his place by the desk, where he was working on some plans of a new dress suit (not that he was in the need of one – apparently he just enjoyed the act of planning).

"You vampires can read minds, yes?" Alfred inquired, biting his lip.

"We can, more or less. But it varies how good one is at it. I, for one, need to focus pretty hard when I do it", Herbert answered absentmindedly.

"How much can you read, when you do it? I mean... can you read other things than what I'm currently thinking?" Alfred continued. Herbert lifted his eyes and considered the question for a moment.

"Like I said, it varies for all of us, so I can't really say what another vampire is able to do... but at least I can't read anything other than what's going on in your mind at the moment. But to be honest, I don't think anyone is strong enough to go much deeper than that", he said.

"So, for example, you wouldn't know if someone was hiding something?" the human asked.

"I wouldn't, unless he was thinking of that particular thing at the moment when I read his or her mind... or if he was thinking of having a secret. Usually it's something that shows on a person anyway, though, because they start acting all sneaky and awkward. Unless they're good at keeping secrets, of course", Herbert answered and then looked intently at Alfred. "Why do you ask? Are you maybe hiding something?"

"No, not at all. I was just wondering..." the young man said quickly. Trying not to think of _it _wasn't really easy, but he began reciting a poem he had read not long ago in his mind, just to be sure.

Herbert stared at him in concentration.

"... why are you thinking of some poem? Alfred, what is it?" the viscount demanded.

"Please, just let it go", the young man said, startled and just a bit panicked. What on earth would he do if Herbert discovered the truth?

"Is something wrong? What are you hiding?" Herbert asked, rising up from his seat. He had that look now – the look that meant serious trouble for Alfred.

"Nothing is wrong!"

"Alfred, I really don't like secrets. You'd better tell me or... or I'll have Vati drag it out of you!" the vampire threatened. Realizing there was no way of escape now, Alfred gave in. Maybe half of the truth would distract Herbert... as much as he loathed lying, he couldn't tell the truth either. Not when it filled him with such confusion and contradicting feelings. Still, he hated how he seemed to be constantly telling lies and half-truths these days. Perhaps truthfulness would have just been for the better.

"I've just been having these dreams where... I'm bitten, and I become a vampire", he said quietly. He focused on that part – Herbert really didn't need to know the rest of it.

"They're just dreams, Alfred. It's just nonsense your mind comes up with, nothing more. You're being silly. Really, I thought it was something much more serious", Herbert said and sat again. "Why would you want to hide that?"

"I just... well, I thought it might make your father believe I want to be turned if he knows what I'm dreaming about", the human said miserably. It wasn't completely untrue, actually.

"You can relax. My opinion is that if Vati really likes you as much as I believe he does, I don't think he'll turn you without your consent", the viscount said, getting back to his sketches.

"Why do you think that?" Alfred asked.

"As long as he thinks the human you is interesting and likes you, he won't want to see that gone by being turned. It's like I once told you: as long as he thinks you're fascinating, you have nothing to fear", Herbert answered. "You remember what I told you about the people he has turned?"

"I do", the human said quietly. Then he looked at Herbert again. "Would you turn me, if the choice was yours?"

"I don't know. Maybe. I might even do it to see how the vampire Alfred would answer my advances", the viscount said with a grin.

"Herbert!" Alfred exclaimed, which made Herbert snigger.

"Loosen up, silly! Of course that's not going to happen. If you're to be turned at all, it will be with Vati's fangs in your neck, not mine", the vampire said lightly.

The young man knew those words were meant to console him, but they did little to take away his uneasiness.

* * *

He might have fooled Herbert, but that still didn't manage to reassure him, because the dream was still bothering him, and it was hard not to think of it. Even then, he might have been able to deal with whatever ghosts – and pleasures – his subconscious summoned: the hard part was when he needed to keep them to himself. He certainly didn't want the Count in his mind, seeing what he saw in dreams. Who knew what the vampire would do if he knew how Alfred woke up night after night, gasping for air and agony growing inside him?

But it was like Herbert said. Hiding things wasn't something one could easily do with a straight face – at least not Alfred.

"Is something bothering you?" Krolock asked one night, as was bound to happen sooner or later.

"Oh, nothing at all! Why would you even think that?" the human said quickly, attempting to sound all light and careless. But of course he'd just come across as slightly hysterical.

"That is exactly what I mean, Alfred. What makes you think that fake tone works on me?" the vampire asked, looking at Alfred with painfully sharp eyes. "I've seen how you keep glancing at me. And you're more quiet too. There is something going on with you and I wish to know what it is."

Alfred bit his lip, trying to come up with something that wouldn't lead to his embarrasment. Damn those dreams and this agonizing state they caused!

"I... I dream of you turning me", he whispered eventually. The Count looked at him quietly, searching his face. Alfred swallowed. "It scares me."

"You wouldn't want to be a vampire?" Krolock asked, which made Alfred shake his head.

"Then I shall not turn you into one... at least not for now", he said softly.

"But you're going to?" the human asked in a weak voice. The other one considered him silently before answering.

"I haven't decided yet. To be honest, I didn't intend to let you live this long in the first place", the Count said slowly.

"Then why have you done so anyway?" Alfred asked. The vampire's words both scared him and gave something like hope.

"I... cannot answer that, for I do not know the reason myself", Krolock said, seeming for once completely sincere.

"You don't?" Alfred stammered. He stared at the vampire in confusion: to him it had seemed like the Count always had some sort of endgame in mind, some wicked purpose... But this? It seemed to suggest Krolock was just as unsure of what to do as Alfred was.

And such uncertainty wasn't probably any better as determination.

"Indeed I don't. That seems to unnerve you. Shouldn't you be relieved for surviving this long?" the vampire asked.

"I'm not sure it's a good thing I did", Alfred whispered with a shiver. His answer made the Count fall silent, and there was a shadow in his eyes.

"You could be right", he agreed. Then he sighed and brushed a hand against his forehead. "Do you think you might be willing to give me a little of your blood?"

"If that's what you wish", the human answered. There was unexpected excitement inside him; he didn't know if that feeling had its origin in his dream or not.

"I do wish so", the vampire said and stood up from his chair and strode over to Alfred, who had also climbed up on his feet. Without further word, the vampire wrapped one arm around him to support him and pushed the human's head away. This time, there was no fear, and although Alfred did flinch at the fangs puncturing his flesh, he also welcomed the sensation. He moaned deep, clinging to the strong frame of the vampire. His legs went limp and the only thing keeping him upwards were the arms around him... It was just like in his dream, only better.

At some point, he became aware that he was being carefully laid down in the arm chair, but he still wouldn't let go of the vampire; his mind wasn't quite working at that point any more. He thought he heard a low chuckle, but Alfred couldn't be certain. And what about _the other part _of his dream?

"Could you perhaps free me?" a soft voice asked.

"Mmm", was the only thing the human could answer, and gently, someone unfastened his arms from around the frame he was still gripping. Slowly, his brain began working again and when he did feel like he could function once more, the Count had already sat back on his own chair.

"How are you feeling?" the vampire asked.

"I'm not sure. Kind of... weak, but in a nice way. A bit tired. Very alive", Alfred answered slowly, and his words made the other one smile somewhat vaguely.

"Is it always like this for us humans?" he mumbled, feeling still somewhat incoherent.

"For some, yes. But usually only after several times of biting. However, vampires rarely feed on the same source twice", Krolock answered.

"I always thought it would be painful", Alfred said. He could feel his strength returning gradually.

"Yes, that would be the logical assessment. Usually it is on the first time. But why does it gradually become so pleasurable for the victim, I cannot say", the Count answered.

"Is being turned very much like this?" the human asked after a moment of contemplation.

"I can't say for sure. It has been a long time and that memory is shrouded by painful things. You should ask Herbert", Krolock said, turning to gaze at the fire.

"What painful things?" Alfred dared to ask. A faint, sad smile briefly appeared on the vampire's face.

"It's better not to know", he said quietly, with shadows of old ghosts in his eyes. Then his gaze became clear and sharp again. "You should go to sleep. It's late and you would do well to rest after being fed on."

"Good night then", the human said and rose up, still feeling a bit shaky and not quite trusting his legs to carry him. The Count seemed to notice that too.

"Do you need help?" he asked, and for an eyeblink Alfred imagined himself being lifted from the ground and carried into bed while he was mumbling embarrassed words on how he was perfectly fine and able to walk on his own, but he pushed that image quickly away.

"I'm fine", he merely said – if somewhat faintly – and headed for the door.

"Sleep well", the vampire said quietly, returning to his book. Alfred hesitated at the door for a moment, but then he found his willpower again and left.

Only in his bedchamber did he feel the knot inside his stomach come loose.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

"Alfred? Alfred!"

Herbert's annoyed voice dragged the human back to the reality from his thoughts, and he looked at the vampire slightly confused: he had forgotten that he even had company.

"What is it?" he asked, embarrassed and awkward.

"Alfie, what on earth is wrong with you? Have you heard anything I've said?" Herbert asked in annoyance. If the blond vampire hated something, it was when others weren't paying attention to him.

"Uh... no. I'm sorry", the human hurried to say, blushing.

"Is something wrong?" the viscount asked, narrowing his eyes suspiciously.

"I'm fine. It's just... your father bit me again", Alfred said and briefly revealed the two freshly closed wounds on his neck. Not that it really bothered him, but it did make him... well, he didn't really have a word for it.

"He did that again? What a greedy thing he is! I'll talk to him and tell him not to-" Herbert said, but fell silent when the human jumped up.

"No! Don't do that. I... I don't mind. It's fine", he said quickly. He actually felt some surprise when he realized just how much he didn't want Herbert interfering with this... _thing._ The vampire lifted his eyebrows.

"Really? I thought you wouldn't like it at all", he retorted. "I think it's nice, but of course I do since I'm a vampire... But I'd recommend not to let him bite you often."

"Why not?" Alfred wondered.

"Because... well, it can mess with your head. First of all, you won't be able to resist him if he wants to bite you. As a matter of fact, _you'll like it. _Then there are dreams and certain thoughts that aren't really your own, and... he can make you do things you wouldn't do otherwise. I assure you, Alfie, you _don't _want to have that sort of thoughts of him", Herbert said, looking pretty serious for once.

"What do you exactly mean? What sort of thoughts?" Alfred asked curiously. His question made the vampire smile.

"You can be so innocent sometimes, did you know?" he said warmly. "What I mean is carnal thoughts. And you really don't want to go down that road, if you are very fond of your life. Like I've told you before, Vati has an unfortunate way of breaking nice things, and sometimes those nice things happen to be _people."_

The human shivered and tried to swallow a lump that had suddenly formed in his throat. He didn't dare look at Herbert at first – he feared the vampire would either just recognize his thoughts on his face or read his mind – but after gathering his courage, he turned to look at his vampire friend.

"And does it do something to him, if he feeds on me frequently?" he asked in a faint voice.

"It'll make him grow a particular taste for _your _blood. You could say it's an addiction of sorts. And it would be very hard for him to let you go, even if there was a part of him that would want to do so", Herbert said and grimaced. "You know, there's a very good reason for why vampires don't usually feed on same person twice. We become _attached, _and that's not a good thing."

"Attached as in...?"

"I suppose you could call it affection, or maybe attraction. I'm not sure how to name it. But it's a dangerous kind of attraction... if that's even the right word for it. You know, you humans shouldn't probably have that sort of thing with a creature that can and wants to kill you", Herbert answered, still wearing that serious expression that seemed so out of place on his usually carefree face.

"It didn't seem to stop you from coming after me", Alfred pointed out, trying to keep his thoughts in order.

"It's because I don't have regrets like Vati does. And my intention was never for you to remain human, after all", the viscount said with a shrug. The young man made a face at him, but Herbert just smiled. "Anyway, Vati should know this. He's the one who taught me everything. But then, I suppose us vampires aren't any more immune to foolishness than humans are..."

Alfred wasn't sure what to say to that, so he just nodded quietly and pretended to be very focused on picking up dirt from under his nails.

"Just promise me you'll be careful with him? I don't want anyone get hurt, and that includes you", Herbert said softly.

"Of course I'm careful", Alfred insisted. There was apparently something strange about his face though, for it made the vampire raise his eyebrows and ask: "What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"I was just... well, it just seems so odd that you would care about me getting hurt", the young man said slowly. Herbert smiled again.

"You're still so convinced we don't feel anything? Alfie, I might be a vampire and we may have had a rocky start, but that doesn't mean I don't like you. As much as I love Vati, it can be sometimes kind of lonely here, and I must say it has been nicer than in years ever since you came to stay with us", he said with a happy grin.

"Thank you... I suppose", Alfred answered, although he wasn't sure how he felt about the viscount's words. Herbert looked at him thoughtfully and then leaned closer.

"Alfie... say, in an another universe, would I have a chance with you?" he asked and it was impossible to tell if he was being serious or not.

"I really can't answer that. I don't see you that way", Alfred said after considering Herbert's question.

"Am I not pretty enough?" the vampire asked with a pout that somehow managed to be delicate, and now the human knew it was in jest.

"You're the prettiest man I've ever seen, and you probably know that yourself very well", he said said, smiling slightly.

"Indeed I do", Herbert said smugly and tossed his hair. "But like I've said before, it's your loss."

"Poor me", Alfred muttered, rolling his eyes.

"Poor you indeed", the blond man sniggered and then proceeded into a lengthy story that explained exactly why he thought it was Alfred's loss.

It really didn't surprise the human that Herbert was unfamiliar with the idea that there was such thing as "too much information".

* * *

"Why didn't you tell me about feeding?" Alfred asked the Count later when Herbert wasn't around.

"Why didn't I tell you what?" the vampire asked back absentmindedly from his seat at the desk, not lifting his eyes to look at Alfred.

"Herbert said that if one of your kind feeds on the same human frequently, it... it does things, to the both of them", the young man said, trying to sound irritated for having been left in the dark for so long, but instead came across as somewhat strained.

"What things exactly?" Krolock inquired, still sounding like he was only vaguely aware of their conversation.

"That we would become attached", Alfred said, suddenly nervous. "Me to your bite and you to my blood... And that there would be no hope of you ever letting me go."

"Do you believe that?" the Count asked and finally looked at the human.

"Well, you're not going to let me leave anyway", Alfred said quietly and lowered his gaze. "So I suppose it doesn't even matter if I'm... attached or not. And really, it's not that bad when you do bite me. I... I suppose that means I'm already doomed."

He could feel the vampire's stare on him, but he didn't have it in him to raise his eyes and confront that sharp gaze. He did recite that poem in his mind, though, just in case.

"Does that scare you? What Herbert says could happen?" the Count asked suddenly.

"I don't know. I've given my life away to your hands and there's no way home for me any more. What more is there to be feared?" Alfred asked back and raised his eyes.

"What more indeed", Krolock repeated quietly, cocking his head.

"He also said it would make you yearn for my blood even more. Is that why you killed those people?" Alfred dared to ask.

"What people?" the vampire inquired, a harsh tone creeping into his voice.

"The people whom you..." the human began but his voice broke down when he saw the expression on the Count's face. There was so much agony and sorrow that it was painful to look at; it felt like it was his _own _pain. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to..."

"Of course you didn't", Krolock said, sounding cold now. "But yes. That is exactly the reason I've killed most of the things I've held precious."

"But you didn't kill Herbert", Alfred whispered. He knew he was pushing his luck, but he had to say this out loud. "So maybe you don't _have _to kill anyone..."

"You sound awfully lot like someone who actually knows what they are talking about", the Count snapped.

"I didn't mean to upset you. I just hoped..." the human mumbled in a broken voice.

"Hoped what?" the other one asked sharply.

"That I don't need to die", Alfred answered. Tears were burning his eyes and it was all he could do from letting them fall. He sniffled and lowered his eyes back to his hands, and suddenly there were two feet on the front of him. The vampire crouched so that he could see Alfred's face. The anger was gone now, and instead, something like sadness moved in his vivid blue eyes.

"Dying really isn't very scary, Alfred", he said, and his former cold tone had been replaced by a considerably softer note. One could even have called it gentle.

"Maybe it isn't, but that still doesn't mean I want to do it!" the human exclaimed desperately. "Please, don't kill me!"

"Your will to live is very strong", the Count said quietly, taking Alfred's hand in his own. "Perhaps even strong enough to keep you alive. I wonder if that is what draws me in..."

Before the human could answer anything to these puzzling words, the vampire's fangs were already on his wrist. His heart missed a beat when he felt the familiar piercing, and he gasped as the Count drank from him.

How he ended up on the floor in the vampire's arms while Krolock gently nipped at his neck, Alfred wasn't sure. A distant, still working part of his mind considered that maybe it wasn't the worst place to die after all, not when he felt so peaceful and was held in that way. However, he didn't die that night: he was gently placed back in the chair where he sat a long while trying to regain his senses. He felt a cool hand on his forehead and he sighed, closing his eyes.

"Alfred..." a voice called his name, and then he slept.

* * *

Full summer of work was awarding in the sense that the garden didn't look like a thicket that night when Alfred decided he would show it to the castle's master. He had gotten rid of the wild vines and weeds, trimmed the bushes the best he could and cleaned up the half-decomposed remnants of the old gazebo. The place was looking pretty good when compared to how it had been earlier, but it would still take a lot work if Alfred was to fulfill his vision of the garden.

Still, it was looking pretty nice already: the neat rows of fresh flowers, the vines clutching old pillars, the bushes... He even thought if a small pool could be brought there. Those plans could wait, however. It actually made it him a bit disappointed that he wouldn't be able to do anything during the winter – which was approaching at an alarming rate. He had been in the castle for over half a year now and he could barely believe how fast that time had went by.

That night he approached the Count, who was playing in his special "music room" (as Alfred called it – Herbert's preferred name for it was "the brooding room"). He had received some new notes several of nights ago and had been quite captivated by them. When the human had first came to stay in the castle, he wouldn't have expected the vampire to have such love for music.

"Oh, it's quite understandable. And good, I'd say. A healthy outlet for all that quiet moping", Herbert had said merrily. "Although I do hate it how he seems to forget about the world when he gets something new and then he just bites your head off when you disturb him."

It was quite mesmerizing sight though, to the point of catching the human's breath: the Count stood by an open window with the moonlight streaming in, in shirtsleeves and playing to the stars as if they were his audience. The tune was soft but with dark streak, making the song sound like a lament of sorts. The young man spent a long moment just watching and listening, not wanting to break the spell.

"What is it?" the vampire asked after finishing his song, his back still towards Alfred.

"I was thinking... if it doesn't bother you too much, maybe you would like to see the garden some time?" the human offered, unsure if he should leave the tall man in peace. He expected the Count to tell him shut up or just leave , but to his surprise, Krolock turned around and slowly started putting his violin into its case.

"In fact, I might want to see it right away. It must look beautiful under full moon", he commented and put on his rich red coat.

"Oh, great. If you would follow me..." Alfred said and immediately felt stupid. As if the Count didn't know the way around in his own castle! There was only a flash of smile on the vampire's face, however, and he followed the human out.

It was indeed nice in moonlight, even if the flowers weren't blooming currently. His Excellency looked around silently and Alfred studied his face, half excited and half worried. What if the Count didn't like it? What if he thought it was a desecration of his dear wife's work? As the he stayed silent, Alfred became more and more concerned.

"Well, what do you think of it? I know it's probably not as fine as it used to be when your wife lived, but maybe in a year or two I can make some improvements, and once the gazebo is rebuilt..." Alfred babbled on, until a long bony finger was placed on his lips and he fell silent.

"It looks very beautiful", the vampire said softly, looking down to Alfred with an odd expression.

"You really like it?" the human asked, feeling relief fill him.

"I do", the Count said with a smile that held something sad but also fondness. That was really the only compliment Alfred needed and a big (and a bit silly) grin spread on his face.

"There's still work to be done, of course, and I should ask Koukol if he knows anything of building things because I've never tried that... And I'd love to plant roses, do you think that-" he began to babble once more, but he was silenced again.

"Alfred?"

"Uhh, yes?"

The vampire took a firm but still gentle hold of the back of his head, propping his face up, while his other arm snaked its way around him. With one swift movement, he was pulled against the lean frame of the Count, and as his heart picked up speed, he was kissed for the third time.

He hadn't believed it could be more intense than it had been in the graveyard or especially in the bedchamber, but he was proven wrong. It was deep and passionate and he was on goosebumps all over as the other one nipped at his lower lip; his own hands roamed over the other one's back, feeling the silky hair and fine fabric of the coat and he wondered just how the skin under the garments might feel... This time, he answered the kiss with all his might and although it was probably clumsy and kind of unskillful because it wasn't like he knew much of the art of kissing, that didn't seem to bother his companion.

Alfred was gasping for air when the kiss ended, dizzy and profoundly astounded. He looked up at the tall man and to his surprise, he could see his own passion reflected there. What really shook him, however, was how _alive _that usually reserved face had come. _And it was beautiful. _

"Do you know that there is a flower that only blooms for one night? It's said to be quite beautiful... They call it the Queen of the Night", the vampire whispered, his face only inches away from Alfred's.

His heart leapt and that moment, Alfred abandoned all reason or voice of caution. He simply gave in and the feeling of that was sweeter than anything he had ever experienced.

"May I kiss you again?" he asked, if a bit faint.

Krolock smiled.

"You may."


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

When the vampire finally pulled back, Alfred was gasping for air. Any thoughts of gardens and flowers seemed very far away now; plants and weeds couldn't make him feel like _this, _after all.

He felt dazed and breathless as Krolock straightened himself and looked intently down at him, still holding his face between his hands. Lips slightly parted and eyes dancing with strange light, he did seem to be off-balance like Alfred was. That was something the young man wouldn't have expected to see.

The human's blood was still rushing in the most invigorating manner and he was about to tiptoe for yet another kiss, but the vampire noticed shift in his posture and gently held him on place.

"I believe that is enough for now", the Count said quietly. "We both need to calm down before..."

Calm down? First of all, that sounded silly and secondly, why did the vampire say _both of them? _He didn't look that anxious, not like Alfred was certain he himself appeared. Then again, the vampire was very capable in the art of cloaking his emotions... and if there was a similar storm going on inside him as there was inside the young man... he couldn't help but feel a bit smug.

"Before what?" he asked. Alfred noted his voice sounded pretty hoarse.

"Before I do something you'd regret later", Krolock said softly and very evenly.

"But I-" the young man protested, but the vampire silenced him with one last kiss – gentler and smaller this time, more like a brush of lips against his own.

"Shh. Just trust me this time, Alfred", the Count said as he pulled back again.

"Why would you care about my... regrets?" the human asked, his voice becoming stronger as his blood cooled down. Surprisingly, he was feeling _disappointed_. A crooked half-smile touched the taller man's face.

"Because your regret would be quite a destructive thing if we are to fall on _that _road", he said darkly. "And I want you to come to me, not out of impulse in the spur of the moment, but because you're going to die if you don't."

He moved closer then, his face only inches away from Alfred's. _His eyes were so blue, so intense._ The young man's breath caught in his throat, and the vampire smiled.

"I want you to _want _me, again and again, and I want to see you become undone at the sight of me. I want to have you completely and mesmerize you, body and soul", he whispered, his voice smooth and gentle. Then he pulled back slightly. "But most of all, I want you to be certain of it. Do you understand?"

"... I do", Alfred answered breathlessly. _Oh dear. _

"Good", the Count said, his smile widening. "Then perhaps you might be willing to show me around and tell me of your plans considering this garden."

_Stupid, infuriating, cumbersome vampire! _How could he possibly expect Alfred to be able to focus on something like flowers, when there was this... this _elephant _in the room (or the garden). Then again, he probably _had _a point, as annoying as that was. Talking about flowers was the last thing Alfred currently wanted to do, but he forced himself to concentrate. _Think about regrets, _he told himself. _Flowers and regrets. _

It wasn't easy to focus, not when he was so overly aware of the man strolling beside him. Somehow, all of him felt very sensitive even to the point of it being painful in a way. It was all he could do from jumping the vampire, but he knew the Count was right. He had to be certain, even if his impatience and aching were almost too much to bear.

The vampire had previously claimed himself to be quite ignorant of gardening, but he did make several questions implying that Alfred's project did interest him more or less. He described how the garden had been during his wife's time, and then Herbert's. The young man tried to concentrate but it was very difficult, and he probably missed half of what the other one said.

"He's the one who built the gazebo. Or, rather, _had _it built. My son isn't really a builder, as you might have guessed... but he was very proud of it", the vampire said softly, half lost in his memories. Alfred warily touched the back of his hand against the Count's, whose face became alert again as he quickly glanced at the human. A smile of sorts appeared very swiftly before his expression became smooth and controlled once more.

When the vampire turned to return inside, Alfred hesitated for a moment, but then throwing all cautiousness in the wind, he grabbed the Count's arm.

"One more kiss?" he asked, feeling his heart miss a beat just for the thought of it.

With a wry smile, the vampire pulled him against himself again, giving into that kiss. This time, however, he didn't let it go on for long.

"Think of what I said, Alfred", he whispered, moving his lips to the human's ear. "And contemplate if you can live with the consequences. I can hold back... but only for now. Because this is a hunger that will only grow the more you give in to it. Say no, and I'll never touch you again. Should you surrender, however... then I'll show you the stars."

He let go of Alfred then and strode swiftly inside the castle, leaving the young man shivering and a bit dizzy.

_Oh dear. _This was turning out to be very, very bad.

* * *

The vampire's lips crashed on his own with bruising force, and the sharp nails pressed against his scalp, effectively imprisoning his head... forcing him to accept the kiss.

"_I want you to _want _me."_

And goodness, he _did _want. He wanted it more than he had ever wanted anything; he needed to feel possessed, to be captured completely... So he answered the kiss just as violently, feeling as if throwing himself into flames. He knew he was going to burn, but he didn't care.

There was no turning back now.

"_Come to me... I want you to come to me."_

What was happening? He remembered something Herbert had said... but he couldn't recall the actual words. _Vater has an unfortunate way of breaking nice things... _The lips travelled from his mouth to his chin, and to his neck, and he arched back his head as he felt the fangs sliding across his skin, over his rapid pulse...

"_You're going to die if you don't."_

His breath became fast, and every fiber of his being was begging for release. And finally, he could feel the bite, and the sensation of physical boundaries being taken down... He _was_ possessed and it was a feeling he welcomed. _He needed this. _In sharing his life's blood, he shared something else too... something he might never get back.

"_I'll show you the stars."_

And stars were what he saw as he came out of his feverish dream.

* * *

_It's the blood. Nothing more. It's not me. _

Alfred groaned and thrust his small garden shovel into the ground, falling back to sit down. It was the hundredth time that day he had found his mind wandering to things he shouldn't be thinking about, and it was proving to be increasingly hard to just ignore it.

Nothing seemed to help. He had tried reading, physical exertion, concentrating on his garden, thinking of Sarah... but it looked like everything was in vain. _He was obsessed. _

Herbert had warned him of this. Why hadn't he listened? He didn't want to feel like this... it made him powerless in yet another way, as if he hadn't been already stripped of enough control. Now he was even losing control over _himself _and his own thoughts. Even when he tried to think of those fantasies and dreams he had powered himself with in the beginning of this mad dream seemed useless and gray in comparison. Every time, Sarah's shape under his hands would turn into a taller, leaner one, with none of those womanly curves he had followed with his gaze... the curls tickling his face would become silky strands, and the mouth on his would not be as full, but the lips would be way more skillful... Just one more kiss, and then it'd be all right. Then he could forget about it.

With a groan, Alfred dropped the shovel and buried his face in his palms. He wasn't fooling anyone – least of all, himself. He couldn't make himself feel what he didn't, just as he couldn't pluck away feelings he _did _have.

He desired this. God, he desired this even more than he had ever desired Sarah. He wanted to just _let go _and not care for what might happen to him. And _just one more kiss _would never be enough. No, there was no amount of kisses that could fill his cup until he wanted no more. He knew he couldn't just say no – not at this point. It was true: _you'll die if you don't_. This limbo where he had been drifting... he couldn't stay there for much longer. Either he'd have to break free forever from this place, or plunge down into this madness, to whatever end there would be...

With a sigh, Alfred straightened himself and made his decision. In a way, it was a choice he had already made.

"The stars it is, then", he muttered to himself.

* * *

Even with his choice made, it still felt surprisingly hard to approach the vampire that night. Irrationally, he wondered if he had gotten it all wrong or if it was just some crazy dream, and doing this would result in him becoming the common laughing stock. But then, Alfred didn't think he really would be able to dream something like what had happened between him and the Count. Really, he couldn't have just dreamt the past months and the gradual pull towards the vampire, could he?

Because now he was convinced it had been there – the pull, or whatever he should call it. How and where it had begun, he didn't know, but now was too late to turn back.

With the final breath, he stepped into the sitting room. He hoped to find Krolock alone, but unfortunately Herbert was there too. Alfred gulped, his courage faltering already... there was no way he could do what he had meant to do in the front of the younger vampire.

The Count lifted his gaze when Alfred entered and looked at the human with sharp, searching eyes. That look seemed to go straight into the young man's stomach, filling it with butterflies. He swallowed hard and blushed. A faint smile appeared on the vampire's face and then he looked at Herbert.

"Son", he called, staring at the viscount intently, "is that a spider in your hair?"

Alfred never told the blond man it afterwards, but Herbert sounded a lot like a girl when he screeched. His jump was also pretty impressive – the human was quite sure he'd take flight right from his armchair. His arms flailing, he wailed: "Where is it where is it Vati help oh no _I'm going to die-"_

"Relax, dear boy. It seems to have fallen off", the Count said, trying hard to hide his amusement.

"To think it touched my hair...! I need to have a bath immediately!" his son exclaimed and rushed out.

"Uh... what was that?" Alfred asked in profound astonishment. He had hard time believing he had just witnessed a centuries old vampire freaking out over a nonexistent spider.

"My son isn't very fond of spiders. He seems to have some sort of thing about them touching his head. As long as they stay away from his hair, he is fine", Krolock said nonchalantly and set his book aside.

"But... but he's a vampire! And he lives in an old castle that's probably full of all kind of insects!" the young man pointed out.

"Of course he is. But are all _your _fears rational?" the Count asked with lifted eyebrows, and his words silenced Alfred for a moment. Well, when he put it that way...

"Why did you do that? There weren't any spiders as far as I could see", Alfred said after a while.

"Because it was the fastest and easiest way to get him to exit without him asking annoying questions", Krolock said wryly. "And the way you looked at him seemed to imply you didn't expect to see him here... which lead me to believe there's something you wish to discuss without his presence."

"Uh... yes", the young man agreed and swallowed again, feeling like a schoolboy. But then, he wasn't a schoolboy any more, and the person sitting across him wasn't some beautiful girl who had caught his eye – the comparison was completely ridiculous and he was fairly certain it wouldn't help him now to imagine the older man in a dress. The Count lifted his eyebrows again, blissfully unaware of Alfred's madly racing thoughts, and looked at him expectantly.

"Well? Spill it out", he urged, somewhat impatiently.

"I've thought about what you said and I... I surrender", Alfred blurted out with very little grace. He had thought of much more eloquent things to say, but now he couldn't remember any of it. A strange smile briefly flashed on the vampire's face, and then he stood up. With couple of long strides, he was in the front of Alfred. One never really forgot how tall he was, but when he was so close, it was kind of intimidating how he towered.

"You surrender?" he asked softly, lifting the human's chin with the tips of his fingers.

"I do", Alfred breathed.

"And do you want me?" the Count asked, moving closer but still not touching except for the other one's chin.

"Yes", the human gulped. The smile on the vampire's face widened, and the shorter of the two was fairly certain his intense blue eyes were currently drilling through the back of Alfred's head.

"How badly?" he asked, leaning towards the human, his breath brushing against the young man's face.

"So badly that... that I..." Alfred whispered. _Damn. _Thinking was getting harder and harder...

"Do tell me", Krolock urged, and now his face only inches away.

"That I'm... going to die if you don't..." the human stammered. "Please, don't make me beg..."

"Then I won't", the other one said and _finally, _pulled him into an embrace and gave that kiss Alfred had been hoping for. When he felt the vampire's mouth on his own, it was as if something that had been clutching his insides till now had fallen away, and suddenly, he felt so very light... _Yes. It'd never be enough. _Gracelessly, he practically jumped against the taller man and wrapped his arms about the other one's neck; a sound like chuckle erupted from the nobleman's throat as he caught the enthusiastic young man.

When he pulled back, he looked warily at the Count.

"Do you think you could maybe...?" he inquired softly, not sure how to voice out his concern.

"Could I maybe what?", the vampire asked, arms still about Alfred's smaller frame.

"Could you just... take it slow with me, please? I've never... I don't want to rush", the young man mumbled, feeling slightly pathetic. Why did he have to be so awkward and inexperienced?

"Hmm. Of course", the Count promised with a slight smile. "We have all the time in the world..."

"Thank you", Alfred whispered and leaned into another kiss.

* * *

Now that it was settled, the restlessness seemed to be gone for the most parts. True, there were still those intense and vivid dreams, but they seemed to have lost their worst impact now that there was this... _thing. _Alfred didn't know what to call it, because really, things weren't that different in the end. The most drastic change was that there was more physical contact between him and the master of the castle. Usually, it was just exchanging kisses however, and although it could be very breathtaking and intense, the vampire never took it further than that. Additionally, it turned out Krolock wasn't that fond of prolonged physical contact or any romantic silliness, so aside from kissing and holding and touching each other while that happened, there wasn't really any hugging or pet names or holding hands or anything Alfred would have expected to have with someone like Sarah. To be honest, that'd have been too weird anyway.

Aside from that, the Count mostly treated him as if not much had changed. Strangely enough, there was something calming about that. This all was very new and unfamiliar for Alfred and the other one's calmness made him feel that at least someone had the situation under control and knew what they were doing.

It also made him wonder about the other one's past lovers.

"I didn't think you'd be like... uh, Herbert", he confessed one night, blushing as he did so. "I mean... I thought you... preferred girls. Like Sarah."

"Hmph. I don't have that sort of preferences. I've been around long enough to not pay attention to such things any more. I stopped caring long ago", the Count scoffed without looking up from his book. "You'll understand when you get to my age. It's quite irrelevant for a vampire anyway..."

Then he looked up at Alfred and smiled wryly. "Really, I feel it's _you _one should wonder about when it comes to preferences..."

"I suppose so", the young man admitted. "But I don't understand it either... I've never really noticed other men like that. Not before... you know. _You." _

That made his companion look slightly smug.

"I shall take that as a compliment", he said, his tone light and amused. Then his face became more serious and he looked intently at Alfred. "Tell me – just out of curiosity – if you were to choose between me and Sarah, which one would you pick?"

His question had Alfred completely dumbstruck, and the young man sat silent for the longest time, just trying to wrap his mind around it, and to why the vampire would even ask something like that. He had never even thought of such choice and it seemed like an impossible situation anyway. The Count and Sarah were worlds away from each other...

"I really can't answer that", he finally said slowly. "You... her... I don't know. But I don't think I ever felt such pull to her. With you, it's... raw. Elemental. Something I can't resist – like I'll suffocate if I don't... you know. And... every time I try to think of her in _that way, _I just kind of slip and instead, I see _you. _I suppose it'd be _better _for me if I was with her, but... "

"But sometimes _better _isn't good enough", the vampire said softly, studying him intently.

"Yes", Alfred agreed. Krolock stood up and approached him quietly. When he was in the front of the human, he cupped the young man's face in his hand.

"I told you that your soul belonged to me, did I not?" he pointed out, tipping Alfred's face up.

"You did", the other one mumbled. "But I never thought you meant this."

"Neither did I", the Count said quietly, and then he pulled Alfred into his arms. After several kisses, he placed the slightly breathless human back on his seat and returned to his own chair.

"So it wasn't your intention all along to... uh, make me... _attracted _to you?" Alfred asked warily once he had gotten back to his senses. The vampire snorted.

"Of course not. None of this went the way I'd have thought", he answered, watching the young man from the corner of his eye. "I meant to take your blood, perhaps turn you along the way... but something in you always held my hand when I contemplated taking your life."

"What is that? I mean... why would you... someone like me..." Alfred stammered. Why was it so hard to form coherent sentences when it came to this strange relationship between them? The Count, however, gave him a half-smile.

"I imagine it's at least partly because of frequently feeding on you", he said at length. "But you're actually quite charming on your own right. Your awkwardness and the way you're so oblivious to some things... Usually that sort of innocence doesn't catch my eye, but you..."

"But me?" Alfred repeated, feeling his blood rise at the way the other one was watching at him. Krolock's smile widened.

"There's something about your naïvety that makes me want to ravish you senseless", he said in a low, velvety voice. The human gulped.

"Really?" he squeaked.

"You can rest easy. I'm not going to do anything you don't want me to do", the vampire assured calmly.

"Oh... nice", Alfred managed to utter, although he still felt a bit nervous as if he were to be devoured right there and then. After a moment, he spoke again: "It still confuses me though. That you'd care enough to consider my... uh, sensitivities."

"I don't take pleasure in forcing myself on someone as naïve as you. It's much more delightful to have you giving in out of your own free will... But have no doubt, Alfred. I'm going to deprave you and drag you down with me, and I'm going to make sure you'll like it. That you _ask _for it", the Count said with a wolfish smile.

The young man blushed scarlet at those words. _Oh dear. _

"You're horrible, did you know that?" he blurted out, considerable embarrassment colouring each of his words. His imagination was forming all sorts of images in his mind, and he just hoped the other one wasn't currently reading his thoughts.

"Of course I am. One has to make one's life livable, don't you think?" Krolock said lightly.

"Bah! Sometimes I really wonder what I see in you", Alfred muttered and pretended not to hear the other one's chuckles. Stalking to the door, he made a face at the annoying man. "I'm going to go and have a bath."

"A cold one, mayhap?" the Count asked jovially. Blushing again, Alfred didn't know how to answer that so he just escaped the room before the vampire could make any more embarrassing comments like that.

* * *

"Uh... Herbert? May I ask something?" Alfred asked one evening when it was just him and the blond vampire in the sitting room. God (or maybe the Devil) only knew where the master of castle himself was roaming.

"Of course you can", Herbert answered lightly. He was sprawled on his armchair, reading some book on French cuisine. Why such thing would interest him when he couldn't even eat, Alfred didn't know.

"I was wondering when... when you realized you... uh..." he stammered, already feeling like this was a really bad idea.

"When I realized what?" Herbert pushed on and lifted his eyes. He looked curious, and the young man knew there was no way he could back off now.

"That you didn't like girls", he finally blurted out. The vampire looked like it wasn't a very special question and Alfred felt he had been nervous for no reason at all.

"I suppose I always sort of knew. I can't really point any particular time in my life when I somehow came specifically aware of it", the viscount said thoughtfully. "Why do you ask?"

"Just curious", the human said and shrugged.

"Mm. I just never really noticed girls, to be honest. For a long time, I thought it was wrong – that _I _was wrong. Luckily I got over that and realized it doesn't matter. Sometimes I think it's good that I became a vampire... because to our kind, it's meaningless, unlike to you humans. You people always pay so much attention to the strangest of things", Herbert said and smiled.

"Yes, I suppose we do", Alfred agreed. He looked at the vampire warily. "What is it like? I mean... being with... another man?"

"You mean, sleeping with someone?" Herbert asked and grinned. "I could show you, if you wanted."

Alfred blushed furiously.

"No! I don't want that! I just... I'm just curious", he said quickly.

"Of course I know that. I was just teasing you", the blond man said and laughed. Then he became more serious, "I honestly think you'd have to find that out on your own. I think you have to try it for yourself to understand. Because if I tell you, I might cause you a disappointment or ruin the experience and all the fun and excitement you get by trying out on your own. Personally, I think it's very enjoyable and fun. But if you really want to try it out, you should do it with someone who knows what they're doing."

"Oh", was the only thing Alfred could really answer. The knot in his stomach was becoming tighter and tighter. Here he was, talking about bedroom activities with none other than Herbert von Krolock! He must have become insane. What was more, he was trying to get advice from _a vampire, _with the ultimate reason of needing that advice being Herbert's own father. Well, at least the viscount didn't know _that. _But then, who else could he have asked? He didn't want the Count thinking he was having second thoughts, and he was fairly certain Koukol wouldn't be helpful at all.

"Don't look so terrified. It really isn't that scary in the end. You should just relax and try to enjoy it and not worry about anything else. That's my advice", Herbert said with a big smile.

The young man nodded mutely, and soon he rose up and started for the door, mumbling something about going out to catch some fresh air.

* * *

Alfred had been reading a book on gardening and sketching some plans in his bedchamber when His Excellency had silently wandered in (turned out he too had hard time understanding the concept of knocking). After scaring the young man by grabbing him from behind and then calming him down by some kisses, he had made himself comfortable on Alfred's bed and was now quietly watching him with half-open eyes.

"All right, how am I supposed to concentrate here when you won't stop staring at me?" the human asked after a moment of fruitlessly trying to ignore the other man in the room.

"Perhaps you're trying to focus on the wrong thing", the Count said, sounding perfectly unconcerned. Alfred made a face at infuriating man on his bed and put down his pen.

"What are you doing here, really?" he asked.

"As you can very well see, currently I'm enjoying your bed", the vampire said and crossed his arms under his head.

"But you have one of your own", Alfred pointed out.

"Indeed I do. But I can't watch you from there", Krolock said with a half-smile.

"I dislike it when you act so creepily", the young man muttered, flipping through the pages of his book. The other one chuckled.

"You're so very tense, Alfred", he commented. "How do I get you to relax, I wonder?"

"I don't know but you are annoying", Alfred informed the man lounging on his bed.

"Am I now?" the vampire asked, his smirk slowly widening. "Do come here and tell me just how annoying I am."

The young man contemplated saying no just to spite the Count, but then decided against it. After all, how was he to reject when those clear blue eyes stared at him in such manner? He was fairly certain his heart missed a beat or two because of it. So he padded to the bed and once he had taken off his shoes, sat down beside the vampire.

"Well? How annoying do you find me exactly?" Krolock inquired, lifting himself up from the covers. Alfred made a face at the vampire, and he let out a low chuckle. Then he leaned closer and pulled the human against himself.

Some time later, when Alfred had ended up under the vampire's larger form and he was getting very excited to the point of his hips involuntarily buckling up to meet the other one's, the Count pulled back and considered him with a slight frown.

"What is it?" the young man asked, his voice more than just a little hoarse.

"May I ask something personal?" the vampire inquired softly.

"I suppose you may", Alfred answered, although he didn't think this was the best moment for questions.

"Have you ever shared bed with anyone?" the Count asked, studying the young man's face intently. Alfred immediately blushed.

"That's none of your business", he told the older man, and a slight humourless smile briefly appeared on Krolock's face.

"Of course it's not. I'm just wondering..." the vampire said quietly and ran a gentle hand over Alfred's cheek. Who would have known he'd be capable of such tenderness?

"Wondering what?" the human asked. His heart was starting to slow down, but the heat was still there, under his very skin...

"If this is truly what you want and need. If you even realize what is going on and what is happening to you... You're so innocent, and I feel like I'm taking advantage of you. Are you certain you won't have any regrets? Do you even understand what is going to happen once I take you to my bed?" the Count wondered out loud.

Alfred pouted and gave a frustrated punch to the other one's shoulder.

"Just how ignorant and naïve do you think I am? I do understand there'll be no turning back. I knew that all along. And I do know what will happen and it doesn't scare me. If it did, I wouldn't have come to you in the first place. I'm not stupid, you know", he said, staring hard at Krolock.

"You aren't", the vampire agreed and planted yet another kiss on Alfred's lips. "But you're still so different from what I've had before. I have to confess, I like you too much to be willing to see you lost to bitter regrets. I need you to be certain of this... of what you really want."

"I _am _certain. I didn't say yes just in the spur of the moment. It's also because I can't _not _do this. I... I suppose I kind of need you", the human said, blushing again. It still felt strange to talk about so intimate things with the vampire.

"Hmm. It's been a long time since I've been with someone so inexperienced... but at least I know to be careful", the Count said quietly and settled back on the other side of the bed.

"You'll have to tell me if I do something wrong", Alfred mumbled and immediately feeling embarrassed, he buried his face in the pillow. Krolock gave a small soft chuckle and patted his shoulder.

"Do not worry for such things. Just... be yourself, and do what feels good to do", he said softly and sat up.

"I'm just scared you'll be disappointed when that actually happens because I haven't... you know", the young man said, unable to hide worry from his voice.

"Silly Alfred. If you believe that your inexperience bothers me, then why do you think I have approached you in the first place?" the vampire asked.

"I just... I don't want to be a disappointment", Alfred said, feeling more and more ashamed by the minute.

"And you're not going to be. You're just being insecure, but we'll take care of that... You'll see. The most important part is that you trust me completely..." the Count murmured.

"Trust?" the other one echoed.

"Yes. _Do _you trust me enough to let me so close?" Krolock asked with a faint lift of his eyebrows.

"... I do. I do trust you. And I want to know how it feels to... to be so near to someone", Alfred confessed, and the mere idea made his heartbeat quicken. There was a small smile on the vampire's lips as he lowered himself on his elbow and hovered over the human.

"When the time is right, I will show you", he whispered and leaned down into a kiss.

* * *

A/N: Here's a bit longer chapter this time, with Alfred being all uncertain and awkward. Honestly, I think he would be very much so in this situation. Also, I changed the rating to M, just to be safe. Stay tuned for the next chapter!


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Dawn wasn't probably very far when Alfred slowly woke up. The only thing he did know for sure was that he was warm and sleepy and he was very tempted to go back to sleep, but the absence of the presence beside him pulled him through and to the waking world. He remembered falling asleep holding a hand but now that limb was gone, as was the owner of it.

He shot up in the wide unfamiliar bed, but his panic was immediately soothed when he spotted the Count sitting by the fireplace. A mighty fire was roaring there, and the vampire sat staring at the flames with a thoughtful expression on his face. One could have said that the way his fine hair was disheveled was absolutely delicious. He was only wearing a dark dressing gown, and he had crossed his long white legs as he sat lost in his thoughts.

For the longest time, Alfred sat watching at this sight, feeling a strange emotion expanding inside himself. It was as if his heart didn't quite fit in his breast and the only time he had felt it before had been with Sarah. Everything about this was crazy and he could barely comprehend it, but here he was, in His Excellency's bedchamber and... well. Better not to think of that. In any case, it was like Herbert had said. _He had become attached. _

How much of it was himself and how much was because of blood he had given, he wasn't sure. And he didn't know which one he even wanted it to be.

Pushing those thoughts from his mind, he gathered a sheet around himself, rose up, and padded towards the fireplace.

"Why are you awake? Go back to sleep", the vampire ordered when he saw the human awake.

"I was lonely", Alfred said, trying to look as innocent as he possibly could. A smile passed on the Count's face.

"I'm right here, my silly Alfred", he said with a lightness the other one didn't remember witnessing before.

"But you'll be going to the crypt", the young man said and frowned. "And leave me alone. Are vampires required to sleep in graves?"

"No, we are not. But it's a habit that is hard to break. Grave is actually quite a nice place to rest in", the vampire said.

"I'm sure it is", Alfred mumbled and yawned.

"Now, go back to bed. You look exhausted", the Count commanded.

"And whose fault is that?" the human blurted out, bolder than he'd have expected himself to be. He blushed and the vampire laughed, blue eyes sparkling with rare amusement.

The young man wrapped the sheet tighter around himself and looked at the other one, serious this time.

"Will you stay with me tonight?" he asked, his voice barely a whisper. The Count cocked his head slightly and studied him for a moment.

"You really wish me to do so?" Krolock asked.

"I do", Alfred said. He smiled and nudged at the vampire's toes with his own.

A faint smile appeared on the tall man's face. He rose up from his seat and stretched his arms.

"I suppose I don't have a choice then", he commented, picked Alfred up and carried the human back to bed.

* * *

The room was dark and silent as Alfred woke up the next day. His first instinct was to climb up and draw back the thick curtains to let in some sunlight, but he realized in time what a bad idea that would have been.

After a while, his eyes adjusted to the darkness and he crawled nearer the pale shape that was lying unmoving beside him.

It was actually kind of nice to be able to really _look _without the sharp blue eyes turning towards him and the vampire asking why he was staring. He could even touch without the other one ever knowing what he was doing. Still, when he traced one sharp cheekbone, he felt as if he was doing something wrong.

The Count had been a nice-looking man when he had lived, Alfred thought. Even in death, with his hollow cheeks and a look not overly unlike a skull, he looked oddly graceful – in a dark and slightly scary way. His lips looked very red against the paleness of his skin, and when Alfred remembered their coppery taste, he shivered. The human spent a long moment just staring and trying to imagine that face when it had been fuller with a touch of life and sunlight on it.

With a sigh, he placed his chin on the vampire's shoulder and closed his eyes. As he breathed in, dark hair tickled his nose and he giggled – a bit stupidly, that much was given – as a part of him wished the other one could be awake and maybe not mind very much that he was so close... but then, hand-holding had been the most he had been allowed to do.

But it was all right, as far as Alfred was concerned. He had already received much more than he had expected.

Absentmindedly, he ran his fingers over the plane of the Count's chest. He didn't exactly look like in that dream on Alfred's first night in the castle, but one could see had lead an active life when he had been a human; last night, it had made him feel very self-conscious and kind of ugly in comparison, but he had quickly forgotten about that as the vampire had kissed him and carried him to bed. It was odd, to feel that cool skin and notice no rise and fall of the chest... He could have been dead and Alfred wouldn't have known. Well, the Count _was _technically dead, but still.

He sighed and finally rolled over on his back. Everything that happened since last night seemed like a fantastic dream now... How the vampire had known it had been the right time, Alfred didn't know. Then again, Krolock always seemed to know these things somehow – almost as if by instinct. Nevertheless, he hadn't expected it to happen as it did: the Count appearing as if from nowhere while Alfred was having a dinner, actually sitting down to watch him as he dined, pouring him some wine himself, and then leaning over the table to kiss Alfred... At some point, the vampire had looked at him questioningly and asked: "Bedroom?"

Not trusting his voice, Alfred had just nodded breathlessly, and it made a strange but pleasant shiver run down his spine when he thought of what had occured next.

Still, he had to ask himself: how had any of this happened? Better yet, _why _had he let this happen? He had no idea, but he knew one thing and it was that there was no regret. He was actually _glad _of what had come to pass, no matter how unexpected. He was fairly sure now that his fate was here and that he would not leave this castle alive. So what could it hurt to be loved in the meanwhile? If that was even the right word for what was happening here... After all that had occured, he had little trust in his own judgement on that matter. Then again, he didn't mind. It was as good a way to pass his time here than any else – maybe even better.

For one, he didn't remember when was the last time he had been so happy and content as he had been last night. He had felt safe and cared. Once – a long time ago, it seemed now – he had thought there had to be something Krolock wanted enough to let him go, and he had made it his mission to try and find out what it was.

He'd never have expected that instead, he'd find something _he _wanted enough to _stay. _

* * *

He got back to the Count's bedchamber just before sunset and slipped under the covers, curious to see what happened when a vampire woke up from his deathly rest. He half expected to some dark forces to be involved, but it proved to be quite anticlimatic: the Count's stiff form seemed to gradually relax, and his eyes slowly fluttered open. For a moment, the vampire's blue eyes seemed unfocused and distant, as if he were still somewhere between death and awareness and not quite conscious of where he was. Then his gaze once again became sharp and alert, and he turned his face towards Alfred.

"Hello", the human said with a small smile.

"Hello", the Count answered and lifted his eyebrows. "Have you been staring at me in this manner for long?"

"I have. And there's nothing you can do about it", Alfred said and grinned. The vampire snorted and stretched; there was something almost catlike about the movement.

"Of all the ways you could spend your time..." he said with mock disdain.

"I think it was a perfectly nice way", Alfred argued. The other one merely rolled his eyes as an answer. Then the Count let out a soft sigh.

"I will have to tell Herbert", he said quietly. Unexpectedly, that made the human feel somehow nervous, as if _Herbert _was the authority here instead of his father.

"Can't this stay a secret?" Alfred asked quickly. Krolock looked at him from the corner of his eye, a bit confused.

"And just why do you suggest that?" he inquired.

"I just... What is he going to say? What if he's going to be angry?" Alfred worried. He was actually very surprised to realize just how much Herbert's opinion had come to mean to him.

"Why would he be angry? It's not his business. What we choose to do together is not a problem of his. He is going to learn the truth sooner or later anyway, so it's better to tell him as soon as possible. It is a rare secret you can keep from him, and I prefer not to do so. He's only going to be irritable for weeks if I don't tell him the truth", the Count said and sat up. "Don't worry. I shall take care of him myself."

Alfred grimaced.

"He just... he told me to be careful with you. I think _this _is exactly what he meant and he's not going to be happy to hear that I didn't listen", he mumbled into his pillow while the other one began dressing.

"What of it, then? It's your choice, not his. Herbert knows that perfectly well. And if he doesn't remember that, I will remind him", Krolock said, sounding unconcerned.

"But what if-" the human said but was silenced with a kiss.

"Stop worrying so much, dear Alfred. He's not going to bite you, and if he does, he'll have to deal with me", the Count said with a faint smile and straightened up. "Believe me, no matter how wilful my son might be, he does listen to his father."

"He'd better", Alfred sighed. Then he frowned, "Why are you wearing clothes?"

* * *

Later that night, when he was in his room, Herbert appeared. Like that one time before, he didn't bother knocking; it wasn't probably because he had no manners but rather because he had hard time understanding people might have private spaces.

From the troubled look on the blond man's face, Alfred immediately knew that the father and the son had already had their talk and apparently the result wasn't as unproblematic as the Count had intended. Quietly, Alfred put down the book he had been flipping, waiting for whatever it was Herbert wanted to say.

"So", the viscount said at length. "You and Vati."

"Yes. Me and him", Alfred answered. "I didn't think you would be surprised."

"I'm not really _surprised. _I've had my suspicions for some time now... and you're not exactly subtle about the way you ogle at him sometimes. But... why didn't you listen to me when I tried to tell you it's not wise?" Herbert asked, sounding somewhat frustrated. "Don't look at me like that – it's not because I'm somehow jealous that he was successful where I wasn't. I'd be very happy for him and you both if I didn't know how these things usually end with him."

"Listen, it's fine. It really is. I'm not fearful of anything that might happen – not anymore. I... I don't think I'm ever going to leave this place... and since I'm to die sooner or later anyway, I'd rather it happen quick while I'm in his arms than wait years and years alone until I'm old and regretful because of a life I never really _lived_. I just... I don't want to be alone any more, and if dying is the cost, then I'm going to pay it", Alfred said quietly. The viscount looked at him sadly; he had never seen such expression on Herbert's usually carefree face.

"But what about the cost he would have to pay, if that happens? How do you expect him to carry on while yet another lover lies dead because of him?" the vampire asked. The question was cruel in every sense, but Herbert's voice was not. A lump formed in Alfred's throat and he lowered his gaze, trying to find any way at all around this, but could not. He wasn't scared of death, of being killed by the Count – not anymore, now that he knew how it felt when he was bitten, and that there were worse ways to go... but Herbert had raised a valid question. Could he inflict that sort of pain on the man he had somehow – and rather crazily – come to care for?

"It's his choice", he said finally in a weak voice, remembering what Krolock had said before.

"Indeed it is", Herbert said and let out a heavy sigh. "And if he's determined to do something, even I can't stop him. But Alfie... I've seen him suffer heartbreak too many times. I don't want that to happen again."

"I know that", Alfred whispered.

"Alfie... I don't want to ruin your happiness, I really don't. Nothing would make me happier than to see Vati content and loved for once. The devil knows he'd need it. But that's not something a vampire can usually have... especially not with a mortal. I just hope you'll consider this", the viscount said with a sad smile and then turned to leave.

"Then maybe you should turn me", Alfred said quickly, not even thinking of what he was saying. His words seemed to startle Herbert.

"No! Don't ask me do that", the blond vampire said, sounding even kind of terrified. "We have no idea how that would turn out – you could be a complete beast for all we know. It's too risky. I can't do that to you or Vati..."

Alfred realized the magnitude of his unthinking request, and after all, he was much too fond of being a human to really consider becoming a vampire as an option.

"I understand", he said, somewhat tearfully. It looked like there was no way around this, no matter how hard he tried to find some loophole.

Herbert had a point. As daring as he might be as far as his own life went, he didn't want to consider the possibility of ending up as another sorrow and regret on the Count's already heavy list of casualties. He thought of that and it made him shiver, and he was fully prepared to tell that to the vampire – he really was going to say it had to end. It had to stop before it had really even begun.

But when he went to face Krolock in the bedchamber where he had slept so soundly last night and saw the vampire slightly smile as he turned to face the human, Alfred felt his resolve dissolve. How was he to return into what had been? How was he supposed to sleep his nights alone when his very soul yearned for _this, _and the very sight of the vampire made his heart flutter? Be it blood or himself, he _was _attached and he simply couldn't tear himself free.

His distress appeared to be obvious on his face, for Krolock's smile turned into a frown.

"What is wrong? Has something happened?" the Count inquired. That moment, Alfred didn't care that the other one didn't particularly care for physical contact: he merely rushed forwards, grabbed the vampire's midsection and buried his face into his lover's chest. For a moment, Krolock stood frozen and the human fully expected to be pushed away, but then two hands came to rest on his shoulders – albeit awkwardly.

"Now, speak. What is wrong?" the Count asked, more forcibly this time.

"Herbert said..." Alfred began but then his voice broke and he felt like he was going to burst into tears.

"I can very well imagine what he told you. Quite likely the same things he said to me earlier. That boy is a mother hen in a body of a vampire", Krolock said dryly. "You shouldn't pay heed to him, however. Like I said before, it's not his choice to make."

"But what if-" the human tried but was again silenced by a finger that was placed on his lips.

"Alfred, both of us are perfectly capable of making our own decisions. If they are mistakes, then it's fine by me. Despite what Herbert thinks, I can live with the consequences", the Count said patiently and lifted Alfred's face so their gazes could meet. "At any rate, you shouldn't think that you're already doomed. My self-control is much greater than it once was, and as long as I feed regularly, there shouldn't be a problem."

"Truly?" the human asked.

"Truly, Alfred", the vampire said, perfectly confident.

With a sigh, Alfred placed his head on the other one's chest again and closed his eyes.

When he felt the Count's chin on the top of his head and a hand in his hair, he smiled.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

Alfred was in the sitting room when Herbert approached him the next night after a long conversation with his father. There was a similar troubled look on his face as before, but now the human could also see the vampire had given in. He just hoped the Count hadn't been too hard on his son; after all, Herbert's intentions had been good.

"Vati commanded me not to upset you again", the vampire said quietly. "He was really stern... he hasn't been so harsh towards me in quite some time."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to set him upon you", Alfred said and felt embarrassed. He realized only just now how it must have looked like to Herbert.

"I know. And it doesn't matter. Like I said, when Vati is determined to do something..." Herbert said with a sigh. "So you're not going to change your mind?"

"No. I'm not", the human answered quietly. "It's what I... _we _want. No matter what happens."

"I see. But you do understand it's not that I want to spoil things for you or him? I worry because Vati is really all I have, and it makes me sad too when he's in pain. To be honest, if I had to choose between him and any sweetheart I've had or ever will, I'd always pick him."

"You're very loyal", Alfred said, a bit surprised, but Herbert merely shrugged.

"He's my family. The only one I have. If all else fails, I can count on him, and that's how it's always been", the viscount said, sounding like he was talking of the most natural thing in the world. Maybe it _was _the most natural thing in the world.

"I... I'm sorry if it looks to you like I'm trying to get in between you. It's not like that", Alfred said quickly.

"Of course it's not. I know, Alfred. I've seen how you look at him and I know what it means. You wouldn't have been so upset yesterday if you weren't sincere. Anyway... I hope this will work out. And I'm glad if it makes you happy. Him, too", Herbert said with a slight smile. Then his face turned stern. "You better take good care of him, or I'll have your head!"

The idea itself sounded absurd – as if the Count needed anyone to take care of him – but Alfred did a mock salute anyway: "Yes sir!"

The vampire sniggered and then wandered off, leaving Alfred alone by the fire.

* * *

It could have been late or early – Alfred wasn't sure, because time often seemed to lose its meaning when the Count caught him and decided it was a perfect occasion for them to lock themselves in his bedchamber for several hours. The vampire seemed to be quite fond of jumping from the dark and grabbing Alfred, preferably at times when the human wasn't paying attention. Needless to say, Alfred found himself profoundly startled many times before he learned to be more alert. It developed to be a game of sorts even – surprisingly juvenile and playful for a centuries old vampire (which he also announced with the result of receiving a good smack at his derriere) but it was actually kind of fun. Not that he would have admitted that out loud.

The room was quiet now, with the crackling of fire being the only sound; the vampire had just finished telling some story of long ago and had fallen silent. Alfred was curled up on his side, one hand clutching his pillow and another resting on the Count's forearm. The vampire was lying on his back and had closed his eyes – what thoughts moved in his mind then, Alfred couldn't say. One could have believed he was sleeping but the human knew better.

"Have you been alone for a long time?" he asked after a moment. The Count was somewhat sparse when it came to sharing his thoughts or his past, but every now and then he would slightly lift the veil and give out some things. Alfred tried not to press on, but he was grateful for any piece of information that might help him solve the mystery that was Krolock.

"Hmm. I suppose I have. But then, vampires rarely have mates", the other one answered.

"Why?" Alfred asked.

"Mortals are considered unsuitable for obvious reasons – even if you manage to keep your human alive, he or she can rarely adapt to a world of unending night. And other vampires... we don't often have fond feelings for other members of our kind, and even when we do, we tend to grow tired of them at some point. When a vampire gets older, his or her emotions usually become weaker until there's none left. You have seen how the ancient ones are... they have few other concerns than feeding", the Count answered slowly. He had opened his eyes and shot a quick glance at Alfred.

"But you and Herbert aren't like that, although you're not that young", the human pointed out.

"That is true. I believe we keep each other from becoming like the old ones", Krolock said.

"You said that vampires grow tired of their mates", Alfred noted.

"Well, Herbert is not my mate. He's my son, and years have shown that bond is stronger than any romantic one I could have. We're twice connected by blood. It's a strong bond, for a vampire", the Count answered and absentmindedly pulled the covers better over the human.

Alfred lay thinking about the other one's words for a while and then spoke again.

"Who was the last before me?" he blurted out. Perhaps it wasn't the wisest or most tactful question, but he couldn't shut up before he had already spoken. He immediately felt stupid and rude for asking something like that, but as far as he could tell, the other one didn't seem to be too offended by his question.

"A girl from the village. Not much of a beauty, but truly unmatched in heart and spirit, I have to say. Also a lot wiser than her daughter", the vampire answered and closed his eyes again. Alfred looked at him with a frown.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"You have met both the mother and the daughter, actually... even considered escaping with one of them", the Count said with a dry half-smile. The young man's eyes widened with surprise.

"Mrs Chagal? Really?" Alfred wondered. He wouldn't have thought she'd be the vampire's type... then again, it wasn't like he knew the woman very well.

"It has been a long time", Krolock said. "She was a remarkable young lady... I even considered turning her – hoped that maybe she could... But she chose life and was lost to me. I wished that perhaps her daughter... However, Sarah turned out to be very different from her mother."

"That is... well", the human mumbled, not really sure what to think or say. The vampire laughed.

"You think it's creepy? I suppose it is. I have to agree that I've lost my awareness of such things", the Count said, and then let out a quiet sigh. Alfred coughed and quickly attempted to come up with something else to talk about.

"What about before her?" he asked. He had moved closer, so that he could rest his chin on the vampire's shoulder; Krolock didn't seem to mind.

"No one remarkable since..." the vampire said in a soft voice until he suddenly fell silent.

"Since what?" Alfred pushed on before he noticed the expression on the Count's face. He opened his mouth to take it back, but Krolock spoke before he could.

"His name was Marius", he said, his voice barely more than a whisper. He let out a deep breath and Alfred noticed a shiver going through his body as a flash of old grief appeared on his face. On anyone else, the reaction would have equaled something like heartbroken sobs. To his surprise, the human realized that whoever this Marius had been, he had been dearly loved by the vampire.

"You killed him, didn't you?" Alfred asked, not sure if he was being very cruel for letting this topic go on.

"I did. I was injured and my bloodlust got better of me. When I came back to my senses, he was dead", the Count answered.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to awaken any painful memories", the human said as gently as he could and squeezed the other one's hand.

"It doesn't matter. What is done, is done, and he'd have left soon anyway", Krolock muttered. Alfred tried to think of something comforting, but what do you say to someone who had accidentally killed a person they loved? Worse yet, what did you say when that someone had done that particular thing time and time again? He couldn't even imagine that sort of agony himself; only now he was starting to realize what Herbert had really meant.

The Count must have felt him tensing or just read his thoughts, for he reached over and planted a kiss on Alfred's forehead.

"Do not worry. I will not let that happen to you", he said gently.

"It's not me I'm worried about", the human whispered, biting his lip.

"Foolish Alfred. Didn't we agree not to let that bother us? Have some faith in me", the vampire breathed and what he did next proved to be rather calming for the young man's nerves.

Alfred fell asleep with a smile on his face.

* * *

"What are you thinking about so intently?" the vampire asked from his seat by the fire, where he had sat drying his long dark hair after a bath. Alfred was shaken from his thoughts and looked to the Count.

"I was just... I don't know. Just thinking", he said and padded to the other chair by the fire. The vampire slightly lifted his eyebrows and then continued with his task of drying his hair.

"Do you... do you think you're going to turn me some time?" Alfred asked after a moment of hesitation.

"I haven't really thought about it", the Count said at length and shot a quick, searching glance at the young man. "But even if I decided to do so, I'd do it in two, three years from now."

"Why?" the human inquired. A smile of sorts appeared on the vampire's face.

"Just to be sure", he said shortly. Alfred thought about this for a while, and then looked at the other one again.

"If I may ask... who turned you?" he blurted out. The Count grimaced and Alfred was fairly sure he even heard a low, hateful growl. So he quickly continued: "You don't have to tell me, if it's painful."

"It was a powerful and ancient vampire. He was... stuff for all the nightmares", Krolock said quietly, staring into the flames. Then he looked at Alfred with a dark smile. "Everything you think I am, he was thousandfold."

Alfred shivered slightly and pulled his knees against his chest. A chill ran down his spine.

"They called him Dracula. It seemed like the night was full of whispers of him – I had heard rather chilling stories of him before he appeared in my castle... It was a ball I threw in the honor of my wife", the Count sighed and suddenly, he looked very sad. "In the middle of it, I saw him in the crowd. A ghastly sight he was... terrifying, as only a vampire can be."

"What happened?" Alfred asked faintly.

"As you know we vampires have certain abilities. We can confuse you humans... mesmerize you, in a way. That is what he did to me. I stumbled outside to catch some fresh air, and he came to me. He tried to bite me – even managed to draw some blood – but I had a silver cross with me. When he saw it, he cowered in fear and I was able to free myself. Unfortunately, that wasn't the end of it... If vampires have something, it's time, and we can be patient to the point of obsession", Krolock said and fell silent for a moment. Then his face became hard.

"It was only a question of time, of course. He had his eye on me and you could say it was my death sentence. So, one night, he came and... snatched Herbert, right from under my nose. My son was two years old", the Count said heavily. "The next night, Dracula came to bargain with me. It was either my life or my child's. I had no choice."

"I'm so sorry", Alfred said, tears filling his eyes. The vampire's expression turned into a smile.

"Don't be. It's useless to mourn something that happened so long ago... and I have been a vampire long enough to not care about it any more", he said softly.

"What happened to him? Dracula, I mean", the young man asked.

"I don't know. He'd sometimes come here and boast, make himself at home under my roof... but it's been a long time since I saw him the last time, and I certainly wouldn't mind if our paths never crossed again", the Count said, and a sneer quickly passed on his face. When he noticed Alfred's distressed face, he smiled again. "Don't worry. Even if he decided to make an appearance now, after so many years, I wouldn't let him near you. And he'd know not to harm you. As much as that might surprise you, we vampires, even the likes of him, do have our own sense of propriety..."

"What do you mean?" Alfred asked, still feeling more or less nervous.

"You're mine and as such, you're untouchable. The vampires, even the old ones, are rather possessive and aggressive... as you might have guessed on that night at the graveyard when you were almost bitten", the Count said and stood up. "They know now that I wouldn't hesitate to kill anyone who did as much as laid a finger on you. That is something even the oldest and the most brutal vampires understand."

The young man wasn't sure if that was supposed to console him. If anything, he shivered again and let out a shaky breath.

"Have no fear, Alfred. I don't think I'm going to turn you... not unless you ask it yourself", Krolock said softly. Then he walked out, and Alfred was left staring after the tall vampire.

* * *

Time goes by quickly when one is content. This was also true for Alfred: the nights passed and he found his life suddenly filled with something unexpected... something he'd have liked to call _happiness _but didn't dare because of this irrational fear that speaking of it would somehow change everything. Anyway, his routine wasn't _that _different: there was still the garden and walks on the castle grounds and spending evenings in the sitting room among the other things, but he was also sleeping his nights more often in the master bedchamber rather than in his own. Sometimes the Count stayed, sometimes not. It was lonely on those nights when he went to rest in the crypt, but it was altogether better when he did remain with Alfred.

Herbert's fears seemed to be unwarranted too: Krolock never lost control, not even when he asked (or was persuaded) to drink from Alfred. The human hoped that maybe, if the vampire took a little blood as often as it was possible without harmful consequences, the hunger for his blood wouldn't grow too great.

He rarely thought of Sarah these days. As the time went by, she began to resemble more like a distant dream than an actual real person. She had been something like a vision in the middle of a desert, always escaping from his reach yet still pushing him forwards although he was tired and dying of thirst. Only, he had found his well before ever really reaching _her. _

Now that his life was so strangely (and, in a way, profoundly) altered, she didn't seem to have a place there any more. Once, she had occupied so much of his thoughts – had been his great dream, even. When those moments did come when he thought of her, he was amazed to realize how her absence had barely left a hole in his life.

Still, no matter what, he did wish well for her. It wasn't like him to hold a grudge, and to his surprise, the strongest feeling he could muster for her was something almost like pity. It was for how unhappy she seemed to be with her life, and how completely unloved she appeared. Perhaps that had been what had drawn him to her: feeling that they were both unloved and unconnected. In any case, he hoped she would find her freedom somehow (but preferably in a way that didn't require taking her life).

Alfred thought of the Professor too, and what the old man might be doing now. During the early time of his stay in the castle, he had been dreaming of the Professor organizing some sort of great and impossible rescue party that would storm the castle and bring him home, but the more he thought of it, the more he realized that no one was ever going to come. Whether that was because the Professor hadn't made it home alone or because the silly old man was too preoccupied by writing his book, Alfred couldn't know. It'd have been like Abronsius to forget about him – even if that stung.

The summer turned into autumn and the days grew shorter. When the first snow fell, Alfred realized it had been over a year since he had left Königsberg.

* * *

A/N: I'm not entirely happy with this chapter, and I even considered leaving it out. However, in the end I decided to include it anyway. I also added a new scene with Krolock telling Alfred about his sire. I must confess, I rather like the idea of Dracula being Krolock's sire... I might write something about that at some point.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: **You could say that I'm in the need of writing some cute things right now, and this chapter was what came out of that. In other words, this chapter consists of these random scenes that take place at various times. I tried to contain myself, but I don't seem to be able to hold back these days... And what the heck, who doesn't want to see Alfred get some nice and happy moments? Might be almost too light-hearted for our brooding vampire count, but hopefully I managed to keep him at least somewhat in character.

* * *

**Chapter 13**

"I could do that for you", Alfred commented from his place by the fire as he watched the vampire brush his long, dark hair with a slightly bored expression.

"You could, but you could also end up tearing off half of my hair", the Count said, turning to stare out of the window.

"Would you be bald, then?" Alfred asked, trying not to snigger at the idea.

"It would grow back", Krolock said with a soft sigh. "We cannot change, and even if we try, we are merely returned to the same shape we were before."

"I don't think baldness or short hair would suit you anyway. You'd look very strange", the young man decided. "But I still say I could do that for you if you weren't so cranky."

"Hmph. I'm not cranky", the other one commented.

"You are. Especially just after waking up", Alfred said.

"You've observed?" the vampire inquired and turned around to face him.

"It doesn't really take any particular observation", he said, unable to hold back a small grin. Krolock snorted and strode towards him, and when he was in the front of the human, he sat down on the floor, his back towards Alfred.

"What are you doing?" the young man asked, slightly confused.

"Well? Are you going to brush it or not? I'll have to sit if you do, considering you might just about reach the bottom of my hair if I stand", the Count said with a light tone that reminded Alfred a bit of Herbert, offering the hairbrush to the human. Apparently the blond vampire _was _Krolock's son.

"I'm not that short!" he exclaimed. "Even if I do feel like a dwarf sometimes when compared to you."

"Everyone is a dwarf compared to me. Except for Herbert but since he's my son, he's not counted", Krolock said smugly.

It was Alfred's turn to snort and he concentrated on brushing and relished the opportunity to touch the long, silky hair. It was nicest hair he had ever seen and he liked it very much, although that wasn't something he would admit. Usually, when he did that, the vampire would act infuriatingly smug for some time.

After some time, he stretched forwards and around the vampire to see the Count's face, and it made his heart swell to see just how relaxed the other one's expression had become.

* * *

"Alfred... wake up", a soft voice called him.

"Mm", was the only thing Alfred could muster. He was too numb and tired to be awake and he wanted to tell that to the annoying owner of that voice which kept calling him. There were hands too, rubbing at his arms and limbs.

"You're not allowed to die. Now, come back. Open your eyes", the voice ordered. There seemed to be something quite worried about it and Alfred opened his eyes just slightly, if just to see what the fuss was about. A pale face hovered over him and he recognized it as belonging to someone important, so he smiled a bit foolishly.

"Is he going to make it, Vati? He still looks blue!" another familiar voice fussed somewhere near.

"He's awake. We haven't yet lost him", the first one spoke quietly.

Warmth began to return to Alfred's hands and it felt like thousands of needles stabbing at his skin. He let out a wail of pain at the unpleasant feeling.

"It's all right. You're going to survive", someone said. His heavy winter cloak was taken away and he was wrapped inside a thick quilt.

"Once he's all right again, I'm going to murder him. I really thought he was dead already!" another voice muttered somewhere near.

"He's stronger than he looks", a voice whispered gently and Alfred could feel cool lips on his forehead; an odd sensation against his slowly warming skin.

"I'll go and have Koukol make some tea. Poor Alfie looks like he could use a cup or two."

There was rustling sound and steps, and then the room was quiet again.

It took some time for the coldness to leave, and when it did, he felt the exhaustion fall right back in. Absently, his mind registered he was in someone's lap but he thought nothing of it. At the moment, it was the most natural place in the world for him to be.

"Stay awake", came a brisk command when he laid his head down and closed his eyes.

"I'm tired", he mumbled, but then a hand grabbed his chin and turned his head. Finally, Alfred's eyes focused and he could see the pale face of the Count.

"I know you are. But you will have to stay awake until I'm sure you're fine", the vampire said, fighting to sound stern but the worry was shining through. It reminded Alfred of that time on the graveyard, when the vampire wouldn't stop examining his neck and wrists to see if he had been bitten. "Tell me, why on earth did you leave that path? You almost froze to death!"

"I... I didn't mean to. I got lost, and then that horrible blizzard started – I couldn't see the trail with all that snow. And I was so cold and tired..." Alfred mumbled in embarrassment. He had just wanted to go for a nice brisk walk... He should have listened to Koukol when the hunchback had said there would be a snowstorm. "How did you find me from the forest?"

"I know these woods better than anyone, be it summer night or blizzard. And I have consumed enough of your blood to find you anywhere", the Count answered. Then he sighed heavily. "You had me already thinking you were dead."

"I'm sorry. It was an accident", Alfred said softly.

"Just don't do that again", Krolock said and leant his head back with weariness. It must have been exhausting, flying in that storm and trying to find Alfred in the middle of it...

"I promise I won't", Alfred reassured. Then he frowned. "You were worried for me?"

"Of course I was, you foolish creature. What makes you think I wouldn't be? I'm not quite willing to let you die in such insolent manner", the Count said.

"I'm not going to", the human whispered and placed his head on the vampire's shoulder. It was actually very nice and he even briefly wondered if he should get lost in the snow again if it meant he would be allowed to sit in the vampire's lap.

"You better not", Krolock said quietly, and for a moment he held Alfred in a way that revealed just how worried he had been.

* * *

A hot bath was surely the most luxurious thing that had ever been invented. Alfred was convinced of that as he sunk into foam and let the water soothe his muscles, still tense from trudging outside. The snow banks were getting larger with each passing day – he was fairly certain there was much more of it than last winter. Somehow, the idea of all that cold and snow made the bath even more pleasant.

He might have dozed off in the hot water because he never heard the vampire coming in or undressing. He was only startled by the sudden rippling of water as someone made their way into the tub.

"Move over", a familiar and commanding voice ordered and Alfred quickly sat up from his lazy position. The Count was towering over him, apparently thinking nothing of the fact that the tub was already occupied.

"But... I'm having a bath now!" Alfred argued.

"Of course you are. How is that a problem? There's plenty of room", His Irksomeness commented nonchalantly.

"No, there's not!" the human said back, but the other one had already sat down at the other end of the tub and was pushing his legs so that the human was forced to move to a side to make space. Why did he have to be such a giant? Better yet, why did he have to be such a giant nuisance?

"Stop whining, Alfred. See? We fit perfectly into one tub", the Count said with a smug smirk. Alfred fumed.

"You could have waited for your own turn", he muttered.

"I could have. But I didn't", Krolock said with irritating lightness. "It's my castle, and I bathe when and where I will."

"You're so _annoying", _the human remarked and made a face at the vampire. That only made the Count's smirk widen and Alfred could feel a foot nudging at his stomach under the water.

"Am I now?" Krolock asked and the other one could feel the toes travelling lower... he let out a yelp, which pulled a chuckle out of his companion. Then the vampire settled back and closed his eyes, still wearing that awfully annoying smirk. Alfred thought about various ways of revenge (some of which included a lot of splashing) but decided to leave it for later, until he came up with a severe enough punishment.

He also realized the vampire's touch didn't feel cool like it usually did and he began to realize why the Krolocks were so fond of having baths too (much like Sarah had been).

"How does the warmth feel like to you?" he asked after a while. The Count cracked his eyes open and watched Alfred with something that resembled almost sleepy relaxation.

"It's very nice actually. A hot bath is one of few instances I can still feel warm", the vampire said quietly.

"Do you feel cold too?" Alfred inquired. He picked up the other one's foot and massaged it slowly, which seemed to please Krolock.

"No. I don't feel it like you do. It really doesn't bother my kind like it does yours. Warmth, however... it is very pleasant for a vampire", the Count answered, his eyes closing again.

"What are the other instances when you can feel it? Other than bath?" the young man asked then.

"Very inquisitive, aren't you?" the other one snorted, but then carried on with a softer tone. "Sitting by a fire is nice, but not really as comprehensive. Feeding, and physical intimacy, however... it's almost like one was alive again."

"I wish I didn't have to be cold again", Alfred said thoughtfully. "So there's an advantage, at least."

"But would you take that, if it meant you wouldn't be warm either?" the vampire asked.

"I don't know. It's like many things about being a vampire, isn't it? Like how you're not dead, but not alive either... instead, you're somewhere in the middle", he said.

"I suppose you could say that", the Count agreed.

Alfred remained silent for some time; it felt sort of wrong to disturb the other one when the vampire was looking so calm, but it didn't look like he was very good in keeping his mouth shut these days.

"Do you miss being a human?" he asked, which made Krolock open his eyes fully.

"The vampire in me does not. But there are instances I wish for things that are now lost forever", he answered slowly, slightly sad tone to his voice.

"Like what?" Alfred inquired, but then he saw the other one's face and realized he had made enough questions for one night. "Sorry. I didn't mean to meddle. I just like hearing things about you."

"Hmm. Curious Alfred", the vampire muttered and settled back and sank down so that his nose just barely stayed above water. That was actually kind of... precious.

* * *

"Why do you always call me 'Your Excellency'?" the vampire asked. It was a late evening of November, and he was attempting to teach Alfred to play chess. So far, the young man had found it somewhat hard to grasp the rules and he seemed to have poor sense of strategy.

"Well, it seems silly to call you 'the Count' or by your surname", Alfred answered, staring thoughtfully at his game pieces. His opponent had already taken three of his soldiers, a bishop, and a knight. "And I don't think you'd like my special pet names for you."

"You have pet names for me? Do tell me what they are", Krolock asked with a half of a smile.

"You're not allowed to kill me, if I do", Alfred said cautiously.

"I swear on my honor that I shall not do such thing", the Count said, wearing such an innocent face it was almost ridiculous.

"Good. If you do, I'll come back as a ghost and haunt you", the human threatened. "The pet name is... 'His Irksomeness'. Or 'Count Cranky'."

The vampire threw his head back and gave a hearty laugh; the rare sound made Alfred's heart leap.

"You're not angry?" he asked, feeling suspicious.

"Don't be silly. I'm not completely without a sense of humour", the Count said with a smile. "Still, I'd rather you not use them with Herbert around. He might even start using them himself."

"Duly noted", Alfred said. Then he looked at the man sitting opposite him. "But... how should I call you then?"

Krolock regarded him silently for a moment.

"Johannes. That is my name. Odd, that I haven't told you before. You should have said something", he said quietly, seemingly having completely forgotten their game.

"Johannes", Alfred repeated, just tasting the sound of that word. It was a nice name, he thought. As to why he hadn't asked before... well, there had never seemed to be a suitable moment, and he was never really sure of how much the other one was willing to share of himself.

"Yes. It's been a long time since anyone has used that name", the Count said softly and turned his eyes towards the fire.

"So you don't prefer Count Cranky?" Alfred asked in an attempt to cheer up the vampire. The other one snorted and leaned over to move one of his pieces.

"I know it's hard to imagine, but I don't", he commented dryly and knocked over Alfred's bishop.

"Pity. I suppose I'll have to be content with just Johannes then", the young man said. Realizing his chance, Alfred moved his tower and took the Count's knight. "Check!"

* * *

"When did you stop fearing me?" Johannes asked one night when Alfred was almost on the point of falling asleep. He considered not answering and just letting himself drift to dreams, but the question was too good to be ignored. He opened his eyes and thought about it for some time, even a bit surprised to realize he had no exact answer.

"I'm not sure", he said finally. "Maybe after you kissed me for the second time?"

"Hmm. You used to quiver before me... wait in terror for the moment I would bite you. Now you are _asking _to be bitten, giving me pet names, and constantly _teasing _me", the vampire said and his eyes narrowed. "I didn't expect that."

"It's not something I expected either", Alfred admitted and placed his hand on that of the Count's. "But not many things about... _this _turned out like I'd have imagined."

"That's true", Krolock agreed. Then he looked at the human. "Are you unhappy?"

"I'm not. Something else entirely, to be honest."

"... I'm not unhappy either."

Alfred smiled.

* * *

"What do the other vampires say about your... uh, relations with a human?" Alfred asked one night when he had returned to the sitting room and passed by couple of younger vampires, who had given him some really weird looks. The Count was sitting on his usual place by the fire, and at Alfred's question, he snorted.

"Why would I be even remotely interested in what others might think? Whenever were the eagles in the habit of paying attention to the opinions of the mice?" he asked, not even trying to hide his condescension. Of course, having been a nobleman in life, he'd never pay attention to what those of lower status thought.

"It's just... I wonder what they think. Don't they ever say anything?" the young human inquired quietly. The vampire laid down his book and looked patiently at him.

"My flock knows perfectly well not to meddle with my business. They're not overly emotional creatures anyway, so they probably see you as nothing more as my pet... And they know I'm rather possessive of what I consider my own, so it would be idiotic of them to challenge me because of it", the Count said calmly.

"Am I your pet?" Alfred asked out of impulse, which made the other one laugh.

"I don't know. Are you?" Johannes asked back. "I'm under the impression people do not let their pets sleep in their beds, at least... If anything, you're an accident."

"An accident?" the human repeated. He wasn't sure how to feel about that, even if it was true.

"Yes. But not the kind I regret. Now, wipe away that sour face and come here."

* * *

After a long, hot bath, Alfred padded back to his room to change clothes; as the cool air hit his skin, he shivered. Being an old stone building, it was never really _warm _in the castle – something he regretted often.

It was dark outside already, and as he picked up a shirt and turned towards the window, his pale face and torso were reflected on the surface of glass. Absently, he brushed a hand over his neck and the two fresh puncture wounds. There were other similar markings on his arms and wrists, and on his belly too. He wondered if they would look very horrible to someone else, but he himself found that he didn't mind too much. These wounds healed quickly enough, and it wasn't like he paraded around shirtless... A flock of vampires was the least likely to care about such thing anyway.

If anything, he felt a strange sensation of something almost like pleasure at the bite marks on his skin. Perhaps it was odd of him to feel that way, but they were tangible proofs of _belonging. _He liked being bitten by his vampire lover and not only because of it was pleasurable, but because when the fangs sunk in his flesh and Johannes drank from him, it felt like they were sharing something more than just his blood... it was like they were one. Somehow, it was thrilling and pleasant to know that it was his life that also sustained his lover.

Alfred was so deeply occupied by his thoughts that he registered the vampire entering and approaching him only in half. When he felt the familiar tall and lean form behind himself and two cool hands on his shoulders, he let out a soft sigh and closed his eyes.

"You're quite beautiful. Has anyone ever told you that?" a low, smooth voice whispered in his ear and he trembled.

"No... no. I don't think anyone has ever said so", Alfred said, feeling a bit weak. Why was it that the vampire was always able to do this to him just with his voice?

"Hmm. I wonder why I didn't notice it before... But then, it seems that we are often blind to things staring at us in the face, don't you think?" the Count said softly and ran his fangs along Alfred's neck as his hands travelled lower. A faint moan escaped the young man's mouth.

"Uh... I don't... understand why you would – _oh –_ think so... about me", Alfred squeaked and turned around to face the tall man. There was a wry smile on the vampire's face.

"You're so oblivious, dearest Alfred. While I think it is rather precious, sometimes it just frustrates me to no end..." he whispered and caught the other one's wrists in his hands.

"Well, I can't help it", the human breathed and tiptoed in the hopes of being able to steal a kiss.

"No, I don't suppose you can... And if you did, you wouldn't be so irresistible", the Count said and gathered him in his arms.

* * *

"Do you really have to go?" Alfred asked, unable to hide the whining tone from his voice. The Count was buttoning up his dark shirt as he prepared for the night's ball. His black tailcoat and matching vest were laid on the bed, and Alfred absently fingered the rich fabric.

"I fear I must. I'm the master of the castle, after all", Krolock said and picked up the vest. The young man watched quietly as the other one worked over the buttons with an air of accustomation. Alfred, however, knew just how bothersome it was to get through all those buttons and layers of clothing. It was very annoying sometimes. But then, even for vampires it'd have been odd for the lord of the house to wander around half-naked.

"Hmph. What will I do here all alone?" he muttered, annoyed but beaten.

"You could try to have some sleep. You look tired", Johannes offered and straightened his vest. Then he picked up his tailcoat and put it on. With his tall and lean frame, the suit looked very good.

"Or I could join you in the ball", Alfred said quickly, which made the Count raise his eyebrows.

"Have you already forgotten about your last confrontation with the older members of my flock? I'm not letting you near them again", he said briskly.

"Fine", the human said and tried to sound angry, but it was impossible to be annoyed when the other one gave him that particular look that never failed to send butterflies fluttering madly in his belly, and then lifted him up from the bed for a kiss. After a long, breathtaking moment he mumbled hoarsely: "You cheater."

Johannes let out a low laughter and looked very pleased with himself.

"Now, go to sleep. We shall dance together on some other occasion", he ordered as he lowered Alfred back to the bed.

"You'd better keep that promise", Alfred said. "Here, let me fix that clasp on your throat – it looks a bit awkward."

"And the fault belongs completely to you and your wandering hands", Krolock said smugly, at which Alfred made a face at the other one. He decided not to say anything and instead concentrated on his task. He adjusted the beautiful piece of jewellery at the vampire's throat and arranged the fine dark lace – both of which probably had cost more than what he had been paid as the Professor's assistant. Not that it really mattered in the end, but it wasn't completely horrifying to be the lover of such a wealthy man.

"There. You're ready", he said with a small smile.

The vampire answered the smile quietly and pressed a soft kiss on his forehead.

"Sleep well, dear Alfred."

* * *

"I once had this strange dream of you", Alfred murmured sleepily and cracked his eyes open.

"What kind of dream?" the Count asked, resting his head on his crossed arms.

"It was... a nightmare. When I first came here", the human said quietly. "At least I thought it was a nightmare... well, it _was, _then."

"Do tell me of that dream", Johannes coaxed.

"There were you, and Sarah. And... we'd sort of fight for her. I tried to save her, but you pulled us back into the darkness... But, when the moment came, you chose _me _over her... and you pushed her back before biting me. I became a vampire and I kind of offered her to you. After you were done, I bit her too and she died", Alfred mumbled quietly, shivering at the memory of the nightmare.

"That sounds quite intense", the vampire commented in a soft voice, watching him from the corner of his eye. "Were you very scared?"

"I was. I've rarely had so vivid dreams", Alfred said. Then he felt embarrassed. "Also... you had no shirt at all!"

"I didn't?" the Count chuckled and his hand came to briefly rest on Alfred's chest. "What interesting dreams you have of me! I hope it was at least pleasant to look at. Had I known how you have so intense dreams of me on such state of undress, I might have acted upon you sooner..."

"But I wouldn't have been ready", the young man mumbled, burying his face in his pillow.

"Hmm. That is true..." the other one breathed and moved closer. "Are you now, though?"

"... what do you think?"

* * *

"What is it? Alfred, are you crying?"

Without any word, the human rushed towards the vampire and practically threw himself against the Count. Awkward hands came to rest on his shoulders as he quietly sobbed into the chest of his vampire lover.

"Tell me. What is wrong?" Krolock demanded and managed to lift Alfred's face up.

For a long moment, the young man was just unable to speak, and the tall man was graceful enough to notice that. He was lead to sit by the fire, and his heavy winter cloak was undressed as if he was completely incapable of such thing himself. Then a handkerchief was offered to him and he patted his eyes with it, trying to regain his composure as much as it was possible. All the while, Johannes looked at him with inquisitive eyes.

"Do tell me what has you so upset", the Count asked after some time.

"I went to the village", Alfred began, his voice faltering just a bit. "I wasn't going to escape! Don't look at me like that. I just thought I'd save Koukol a trip... I wanted to catch some fresh air and walk down to the village to pick up food and candles for him..."

"And something happened at the village, correct?" the vampire asked. Alfred nodded miserably and continued.

"As soon as I got there, I... I immediately began to receive all these dirty looks. I thought nothing of it and instead went to buy some food from the inn. Mrs Chagal... she wouldn't stop glaring at me. And Sarah appeared then. I asked her why everyone was acting that way, and she said... she said it's because they think me a traitor. They think I'm under some spell or something, and that I'm going to make them fall under it too!"

Krolock sighed heavily and leaned back in his chair.

"I should probably have known to warn you of this", he said quietly. "You must understand they're not really seeing you when they look at you, but rather my shadow. It's not your fault, really. The villagers... they've always feared and hated me, and perhaps that is for a good reason even if I mostly leave them in peace."

Alfred sniffled and wiped his eyes.

"But I never did anything to them. I just... I don't want to be hated", he said.

"It's not _you _they hate", the Count pointed out. The young man nodded, and although they didn't speak of it again that night, it bothered Alfred much more than he could have explained.

* * *

Alfred was distracted from his thoughts when he felt the mattress dip as Krolock sat on his side of the bed. He had been reading by the fire while the other one had been trying to catch some sleep.

"You aren't sleeping, Alfred", a soft voice commented from behind his back. He was lying on his side, his back turned towards the vampire. It had been some time since he had muttered about trying to sleep, but rest wouldn't come. His thoughts were racing and he was feeling too anxious, and there was that quiet, painful aching inside him.

"How do you know?" he asked quietly, not turning to face the Count.

"Because you're not puffing or mumbling like you usually do when you sleep", Johannes answered and his hand came to rest on Alfred's shoulder.

"I don't puff while I sleep!" he said hurriedly. "And I certainly don't mumble!"

The vampire chuckled softly.

"Really? I must have been imagining things then", he said and pressed a light kiss on the back of Alfred's neck. The young man let out a sigh and turned around to face the other. The Count had settled down, propped up on his elbow, and was regarding him with pensive eyes. "You're thinking of what happened in the village, aren't you?"

Alfred nodded quietly, fixing his eyes on the vampire's chest.

"I can't stop thinking of how they looked at me", he whispered.

"You shouldn't care for what they think. As long as you're happy here, their opinions do not matter in the slightest", Johannes said. Then his face became thoughtful. "Do you miss being around others of your kind?"

"I do. I can't help it", Alfred answered, sniffling rather pathetically.

"It's all right. Although it might surprise you, I do understand that longing", Krolock said and pulled him into a long – and quite calming – kiss.

* * *

What Alfred liked was that they could always discuss all sorts of things, from the weather to a book or some philosophical question. Of course that didn't mean that Johannes appreciated him asking all questions, and he tried to keep his curiousity in check; with patience, he discovered, he could have the vampire share things about himself he wouldn't tell otherwise.

There was, however, one thing they didn't talk about. Out of a mute agreement this one topic was untouchable, and as much as it sometimes bothered and frustrated Alfred, he did honor that the best he could. Maybe there would come some instance they would have to talk about it, but now wasn't that time. Being something of a romantic, it wasn't always an easy thing to bear. But as long as there were those moments of something almost like tenderness, he could manage.

He did have his moments of weakness, though, but he always limited them to when the Count was asleep and couldn't freak out. What he couldn't know wouldn't bother him.

Alfred would lie awake, just watching the sleeping vampire. He'd trace with his fingers that face he never touched while its owner was awake, maybe even briefly hug the cool, unmoving body. Then he would press his lips on the other one's forehead or mouth and quietly whisper: "I love you."


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

While the vampire might have been successful in taking Alfred's thoughts away from what had happened in the village for that one night, it wasn't really something either of them forgot. The human, for one, thought about the villagers' reaction a lot, and even if it stung, he couldn't help but admit he saw where it came from. He was fairly sure it was how he might have reacted himself.

And as much as he might enjoy the Krolocks' company, it didn't change the fact that he did feel a bit lonely with them sometimes. No matter how much they might try, they would never be able to quite understand each others' worlds. Alfred's humanity would always remain the ultimate barrier between. And there would never be walks in the sun or enjoying the summer afternoons in the gazebo or sitting together enjoying breakfast and hundreds of other small things that were only possible in Alfred's dreams.

The one speficically tangible example of how different their worlds and ways of seeing it were came on a late night, when the breath of spring was already in the air. It was one simple, perfectly innocent question from Alfred.

"May I ask something?" the human asked. He was tired and warm and sleep seemed quite tempting, but lingering in the waking world on these moments usually meant he would be able to persuade the vampire to tell things he didn't usually speak of.

"Mmm. I believe you may", Johannes answered; he was resting with his eyes closed with that relaxed look he had seemed to be having more often these days.

"What do you dream of?" the young man asked after a brief moment of hesitation. His question made the Count raise his head slightly from the pillow. He seemed sincerely confused.

"What do I dream of?" he repeated, blinking his eyes. He looked like he had never even heard of such thing as dreaming. "I... I don't know."

"You don't have any dreams?" Alfred asked and propped himself up on his elbow.

"... no. I don't think I have dreams. I don't remember having any in a long time", the vampire said quietly.

"That's sad", the human commented. He tried to imagine a life without any dreams or hopes, and it seemed bleak and dark to him. He lowered his head back to the pillow and watched the other one with half-open eyes.

"I suppose it is", Johannes said with a sigh. "The closest thing is... when I think of ending this all."

That made Alfred shudder, and he pulled the covers tighter around himself.

"Have you been thinking of that lately?" he asked in a faint voice, which made the Count let out a low, humourless laugh.

"I assure you, I haven't. Ending my existence is the last thing I currently wish to do", he said with a wry smile and regarded Alfred from the corner of his eye.

"Good. You had me worried already", Alfred said and found the other one's hand under the covers, giving it a small squeeze. "I dream of... having a family. And a house of my own, where I could raise a big family with someone I care about. I never had any siblings and my parents died years ago, so I've been alone for some time... I'd like to change that and have lots of noise and laughter around me. Sometimes I like to imagine owning a house on the seaside. I've never seen the sea... Also... I even dream of becoming a renowned professor in Königsberg, but I don't know if I'm smart enough for that."

"That is a nice dream", the vampire said quietly. Alfred hemmed with a smile on his face, his mind filling with pleasant images of love and life. It didn't take long for him to doze off, and he fell asleep without knowing how his vampire lover lay beside him for hours plagued by bitter thoughts.

* * *

At first, Alfred had thought he'd never go down to the village again. He didn't want to see those hateful, accusing glares again, and a part of him feared it'd turn violent if he wouldn't stay away. But then he decided that maybe, if he frequently appeared in the village to collect supplies for Koukol, the people down there would realize he was just as normal and human as they were. Really, the only difference was that he had a vampire for a lover. So far, it didn't like the villagers would accept that any time soon.

It was past sunset and he was returning from one such journey. He wasn't far from the gates of the castle when he saw the stranger, gazing at the ancient stone building.

Alfred halted immediately. You didn't often see strange people stalking about the castle... in fact, you _never _saw strange people here.

"Uh, mister? Can I help you?" he called out warily, wondering if the stranger was lost.

The unknown man turned around to face Alfred. He was a bit taller than the young man, and of strong built. He had tied back his wavy, dark brown hair and he had a small neatly trimmed beard, which somehow seemed to emphasize his pointed face. His dark eyes were very large for his thin, pale face, and his lips were slim. There was something about his face and eyes that seemed to imply he was always enjoying some private joke. A wide smile spread on his face when he saw Alfred.

"I was going to answer no, but perhaps we can reconsider that, my young friend", the stranger said in a soft, pleasant voice as he regarded Alfred with an odd glint in his eyes.

"If... if you're searching for a place to stay, you should... uh, head back to the village", the young man said awkwardly.

"There's a very nice castle here", the man said lightly. "Don't you think it'd be wiser for me to stay here?"

"No, I don't think that'd be such a good idea", Alfred said quickly. He might share his bed and life with a vampire, but that didn't mean he was willing to let others to walk into a nest of the undead.

"No? Why do you think so?" the stranger asked, taking a step closer. Perhaps it was the trick of light, but upon closer inspection it appeared his eyes were almost black.

"Um... just trust me, mister. You'd do well to leave as soon as you can", Alfred mumbled, starting to feel a bit nervous. Something told him this man wasn't exactly a normal traveller.

"But what if I want to stay here?" he asked and took yet another step. He was now only an arm's reach away from Alfred, whose instinct was telling him to run inside as fast as he could. He didn't regard himself a particularly fearful person, but this man had an air of terror about him that perhaps only a vampire could disregard.

"I... I'll have to tell Joh- His Excellency that there's a visitor..." he whispered and tried to walk past the stranger, but the man grabbed him and held him still; the traveller's grip was steely and would probably leave bruises.

"Please, let me go", Alfred exclaimed as he unsuccessfully tried to yank his arm free. The smile on the stranger's face became even wider.

"I promise I'll let you go in a moment", he said and moved his face closer, inhaling deeply. "This'll hurt only a little bit."

Just as he was pulling away the scarf on the young man's neck, there was a snarling sound in the air and something very big and horribly strong hit the stranger with a force that sent both Alfred and his attacker flying to the ground.

Alfred was too dazed for a moment to register anything that was going on, but when he did come around, he realized the air was full of snarling and snapping sounds. It appeared that the Count had gotten there just in time and attacked the traveller without hesitation; from the way he was hovering over the stranger and trying to get the other man's neck between his fangs, it looked like he was really aiming for a kill. Alfred had seen him attacking other vampires only couple of times (first on the night of that fateful ball, then at the graveyard), but it had been cold and calculated. This, however? This was just positively outraged, almost out of control. The young man had never seen the vampire so _angry. _

However, whoever this stranger was, he was strong enough to hold the Count back – an impressive feat itself, and something that troubled Alfred greatly. Who was this man?

"Calm down, my childe, calm down! I wasn't going to kill him", the stranger laughed lightly. It was somehow a very unsettling sound.

"You! Didn't I tell you that you're not welcome here?" Krolock snarled, but he wasn't trying to get to the other man's neck anymore.

"My my, Johannes! I cannot remember when I've last seen _you _so full of fire and brimstone", the brown-haired man said, running his hands on the Count's waist and hips in a way that almost sent Alfred into a bout of something very unexpected: jealousy.

Krolock scoffed and pulled back, but his eyes were still brimming with murderous anger. However, his face momentarily became softer as he looked at the young man.

"Alfred", he said, his voice very even this time, "go back inside. Now."

Mutely, Alfred nodded and gathered his things as fast as he could. He had no doubt that Johannes wouldn't let this strange man touch him, but he still preferred getting away from the scene immediately.

"Oh, how very sweet. When did you get such a cute little pet?" the stranger's voice drailed after Alfred, who couldn't help but blush at the words. He didn't stay to listen to the Count's answer but hurried quickly inside. In the doorway, he practically ran into Herbert, who had been peeking outside with a troubled look on his face.

"That damned man... I wish he'd stop showing his face around here", the blond vampire muttered and then looked at Alfred. "Are you all right? Did he bite you?"

"No... I'm fine. Your father got there in time", the young man said and rubbed a hand over his neck. As much as he enjoyed being bitten by Krolock, he didn't necessarily want anyone else doing the same. As a matter of fact, that seemed wrong on many levels.

"That's good. We'd never have heard the end of it if something had happened to you..." Herbert muttered, half to himself.

"Who is that man?" Alfred asked, clutching his basket of supplies and food against his chest. The viscount made a face.

"It's Dracula, of course", he said, and even without a sneer on his face, Alfred would have known that Herbert shared the Count's animosity towards the old vampire.

"The one who bit your...?" the young man asked, his voice trailing off before he could finish the sentence.

"Yes, him. I once told you that Vati never said who turned him, but... well, he didn't have to", Herbert sighed. "I didn't tell you that because the situation with you was different, and you could say that this man represents bad memories to the both me and Vati."

"What did he do to you?" Alfred asked quietly, studying the vampire's face intently in case he needed to take back his question. It was odd to see Herbert so troubled.

"I was young and foolish – I didn't know what I was doing. And like any vampire in the need of some entertainment, he was very charming. Vati tried to warn me, and then kill Dracula when I wouldn't listen, but... let's just say that it didn't end very well. That's when I learned that you should never love a vampire, if you're human", the viscount said quietly.

"Oh", Alfred breathed, staring at Herbert with wide eyes. "That's very... I didn't know. I'm sorry."

That made his vampire friend smile.

"It's all right. Really, it is. I don't have regrets, even if I don't like that man very much", Herbert said softly. The young man was about to answer when Krolock and Dracula came in; Alfred fought a sudden impulse to jump either behind Herbert or the Count, but he held his ground and met the old vampire's stare. A smirk appeared on Dracula's face, and then he disappeared upstairs.

"Is he going to stay?" Herbert asked his father, and his grim expression reflected that on the face of the Count.

"Hopefully not", Krolock said quietly. Then he looked at Alfred and pulled the human at his side. "Did he hurt you?"

"No, he didn't. Thanks to you", the young man said and shivered as he remembered the sensation of rough hands tugging at the scarf on his neck. "I... I've never seen you so angry."

"You're mine. I do not react well to the likes of him even daring to touch you – especially when he should have smelled me on you", the Count muttered and briefly kissed the top of Alfred's head. "I believe I still have the unpleasant task of persuading my sire into leaving. I will speak with you later."

Without another word, he strode towards the upstairs, following after Dracula.

"It's the blood. _Your _blood", Herbert said quietly as he looked his father go. "It's the reason why he got so mad... although Dracula _is _very annoying on his own right. But like I said, Vater is... you're attached, and he'll kill anyone who tries to get in between – even if it's just to drink blood. And that's how he'll react if you ever try to reject him."

Not trusting his voice, Alfred remained quiet. A cold shiver ran over him and he gulped. A joyless smile passed on Herbert's face.

"So now you understand. This is what I meant all along", the viscount said with a sigh.

"It doesn't matter", the young man said in a weak voice. "I'm fine with how things are. I... I like being his."

"For now, maybe you do. But that might change in the future. Some day, it could become a burden that will suffocate you", Herbert said.

"But you said we'd be attached. So maybe my mind won't change", Alfred pointed out.

"That is also true at the moment", the viscount agreed. "But that's the thing about humans. You change, and your feelings can grow cold. Vampires, however... Like Vati once said, we are patient to the point of obsession, and for us, change can take longer than one human's lifetime."

"I..." the young man tried, but he couldn't find the words. So he just remained silent. Herbert's eyes became softer as he looked at Alfred.

"I know I sound harsh. I don't say these things because I want to scare you. Actually, I like it how you are so good at distracting Vati from his usual moodiness and brooding. But you need to understand what it means when..." he said, but fell silent then and hesitated.

"When what?" Alfred asked.

"When a vampire loves you", Herbert said at length and sighed.

"When a vampire... you mean, he..." the young man stuttered, feeling his cheeks heat up with a blush.

"At least I think he does – in his own way. But then, you can never really know for sure with him", the viscount said and looked at Alfred with an uneasy expression. "He'll kill me for speaking out of turn. So don't tell him what I said, will you?"

"Of course", Alfred mumbled. Feeling more than just a little nauseous and weak, he staggered upstairs.

* * *

Herbert knew it wasn't really proper or polite to eavesdrop, but he had never really cared for what was proper, and he was certain Vati wouldn't mind if he listened behind the door as his father and the unwelcome guest spoke. And after all, he'd have made Vati tell everything anyway, so he might as well spare his father the effort and just listen to the conversation himself. If there was something Herbert disliked, it was being left in the dark.

"You should consider yourself fortunate. Had you managed to harm him, I'd murder you right where you stand", Vati's cold and calm voice carried from the sitting room.

"Oh, don't be foolish, Johannes. If you attempted to kill me, you wouldn't succeed – just like you didn't the last time you tried. You might be stronger now than you were then, but you're still not strong enough to challenge me", Dracula answered lightly.

"As always, you underestimate me. You have no idea what I'm capable of, Dracula", Vati said ominously. "And I _will _make you suffer if you ever touch Alfred again."

There was a short silence in the sitting room, and then Dracula let out a sharp, ugly laughter. It made Herbert wince.

"Of course, my childe", the older vampire said tenderly. "I must say, if this little human manages to bring out such fierceness from you, I might snatch him some time, just to get you boiling like you did before... You haven't been this spirited since I turned you and I must say I quite liked it."

"Dracula-" Vati said, with that particular voice that always promised serious trouble, but the older vampire laughed again. He was probably the only one whom Herbert's father never managed to scare or unsettle.

"Have no fear, dearest one. I'm not going to hurt your little pet", Dracula said. "But still, I'm amazed at your choice. I wouldn't have expected _you _to pick such a companion... He doesn't seem like your type at all. Then again, we do live forever after all, so I suppose there's no reason for not to try a bright-eyed little thing as him for once... Still, I do wonder – how does a wicked old beast like yourself keep someone so gentle and mousy happy?"

"You're going too far", Herbert's father said, practically bristling now. "I thought I'd already made it clear that your presence is not wanted here. So be kind and remove yourself at once."

Dracula sighed, somehow managing to make that sound completely wounded.

"Really, Johannes, why do you despise me so? I do not understand at all. After all these years... I gave you wings, didn't I? One would think you'd be at least little grateful" he asked, and Herbert thought he sounded genuinely confused. But it was Dracula, and you could never trust him to be honest.

"And did I ever ask for wings? I could have managed without them", Vati said coldly. Then he growled. "Don't touch me!"

"Do calm down, my childe", Dracula's pleasant, charming voice drawled. "If you're worried about what your little human might think, I'm sure he can join us..."

There was a sound of something big and heavy breaking, and Herbert shivered. This wasn't going good at all – he couldn't even remember when had been the last time Vati had been so angry. And naturally, Dracula loved every second of it.

"For the last time – and I won't ask you again – _leave _this instance", Vati said, sounding calm and very patient now, but there was a threatening edge to his voice.

"You really need to find yourself a sense of humour, Johannes", Dracula said and harrumphed. Then he spoke again, "I was hoping that maybe you would at least allow me to stay here for the night? I promise I'll leave first thing tomorrow."

A short silence fell and Herbert held a breath he didn't actually need. He was sure Vati would say no, and he prepared himself in case his father needed him to assist in throwing Dracula out. Vati's sire might be powerful, but Herbert was fairly certain that together he and his father would be able to take down the unwelcome visitor. Although his preferred colour for clothing was something as gentle as lavender and it sometimes made people think he was a wilting little creature who hid behind his father's back, he was actually very capable when it came to dealing with menaces like Dracula.

"Fine", Vati said however, his voice resonating with a long-suffering tone. "But I expect you to keep your word. As soon as the sun sets tomorrow night, you'll leave this place."

With that, he strode out of the sitting room with a stormy expression on his face, and he didn't even stop to scold Herbert for eavesdropping.

* * *

Krolock had told Alfred to try and avoid Dracula as well as he could: _"He won't harm you, but I'd still rather not have you in his presence. He's not good company for someone like you."_

So Alfred had more or less barricaded himself in the master bedchamber. It was kind of lonely there, though; it didn't feel right to invite Herbert to sit with him for a while as it wasn't actually his own room, and the Count himself was somewhere unknown (likely stalking Dracula). At some point just sitting alone became unbearable, and he decided to quickly fetch himself some tea from the kitchens, just to soothe his nerves. He'd quick about it and nothing would happen, and after all, what could an old vampire possibly want from kitchens? It was probably just as safe as the Count's bedchamber. Also, it'd give him something to do rather than to just sit and endlessly mull over what Herbert had said.

He had dashed through the dark halls and corridors, his heart racing as he ran. Even if he did trust his lover's word and the promise that he'd be safe, he had still waited for a strong, cold hand to appear from the darkness and grab him... However, he had gotten to the kitchen without seeing even a glimpse of the fearsome vampire. Still, in the end it turned out that the kitchens weren't as safe as he had thought.

Alfred was almost done preparing his tea when he suddenly felt a presence right behind himself, and then cool breath brushed at his neck. As his heart sank, he still couldn't help but hope against all hope that it was just Johannes and not the one who had assaulted him before.

"Hmm. I suppose I _do _kind of see why he'd have an eye for you... You do smell very delicious. I'd love to get a bite of you, but I must honor my childe's wishes this time..." Dracula whispered softly. With a yelp, Alfred jumped around.

"Don't touch me!" he exclaimed, trying to sound brave, but instead his voice was weak and squeaky. Instinctively, he grabbed the nearest thing to defend himself; unfortunately for him, the object he used to threaten the vampire was a spoon.

"Oh, don't be scared. I'm not going to hurt you or your spoon, little one", Dracula said and grinned. "Dear Johannes would no doubt roast me on slow fire if I damaged you in any way... Still, no matter how delicious you smell, I must wonder – what is your trick? How does a small thing like you make someone like him so passionate? Really, it _can't _just be blood he has no doubt taken from you."

"Please, leave me alone", Alfred mumbled and tried to back away, but his backside just pressed against the counter – he was practically imprisoned between it and the vampire.

"Calm down, sweetling. I mean you no harm. I'm just confused, you see? Johannes is my personal favourite of all the people I've turned, so you could say I take special interest in him... Even if he always bristles at the very sight of me..." Dracula said and smiled. "But really, what is it about you, Alfred?"

"I don't know", the young man muttered and tried to insinuate left and towards the door, but the vampire caught his hips in a firm grasp, trapping him with an iron grip.

"Tell me, has he already taken you to his bed?" Dracula asked. Alfred couldn't even think of an answer before his tormentor already grinned. "Oh, I see. It's very overwhelming with a vampire, isn't it? I could show you some things even he doesn't know... You know, he was mine once too, but only once. It wasn't long after he became one of us. I rather regret that he won't let me close anymore... I suppose I could force him, but if I did that, he'd not rest until he had finished me. Really, I'm too fond of being undead to become actually _dead."_

"Let me go!" Alfred yelped and tried to struggle, but the vampire's grasp held him on the place. Dracula's eyes narrowed slightly.

"I see! The real question isn't what _he _sees in _you, _but the other way around! What could a tender little creature as yourself possibly see in a mean old vampire? You look like someone who has never even had one wicked thought... and he's not really much nicer than I am. Yet here you are, and the way you looked at him when he came to your rescue... My my. This is most strange", he marveled and leaned closer.

"He's nothing like you", Alfred managed to utter and tried to lean back from Dracula's cool breath. Again, the vampire laughed.

"And how would you know that?" he asked, his eyes glinting in a most twisted manner. "But oh, you're in love! Of course you'd know better..."

"Please, let go of me, or I'll..." the young man tried to threaten, but he really wasn't so good at this – it was the Professor who had bravely gone against the vampires and thought nothing of what they could do in turn.

"Or you'll what? Shout for your dearest lover?" Dracula asked gently. "And what would he do to me? Throw a kettle at me?"

The vampire smiled, his teeth glittering ominously. For a moment, Alfred was convinced he was about to be bitten. However, while Dracula did lean even closer, his teeth didn't descend on Alfred's neck.

"Perhaps you do love him. I cannot say much about that... except for giving my condolences", he said softly.

"Why?" Alfred asked, swallowing hard.

"For Devil's sake, you claim to love a vampire! Didn't it ever occur to you that it might be a bad idea?" Dracula asked with a condescending smile. "You're going to fall. _Hard. _And it's going to hurt so much when you hit the ground... Oh yes. You'll be hurt, you'll be abused, and you'll be used. That's how it goes. That's how vampires love back. We're the most horrible kind of vermin you'll ever find on this earth."

"He doesn't..." the young man tried, but Dracula's sharp, barking laughter interrupted him.

"Maybe not _yet. _You might be pristine now, but mark my words. It _will _happen, sooner or later. Perhaps when you least expect it... You'll find yourself beaten and broken, Alfred. If I were you, I'd start preparing for it now, so you won't be too surprised when it does happen... or maybe flee while you still can. If you can escape from a bloodsucker, that is... because when you give your finger to the devil, it will want the whole hand, and the arm, and it won't be satisfied until it has had all of you", he said and pressed a soft, gentle kiss on the human's lips. Then he pulled back and before Alfred could even let out a long breath of relief, the vampire was already gone.

* * *

Feeling exhausted yet troubled and anxious, Alfred hoped for the sleep to come and claim him so that he could forget about everything, even if just for a moment. Herbert and Dracula's words wouldn't stop circling in a twisted kind of round game in his mind, no matter how much he wanted to not think of them. He knew he shouldn't pay attention to anything Dracula had said, but just forgetting about it was so _hard. _Was his heart as loyal as he wanted it to be?

At least for the moment, he wasn't so sure. Not when he could feel his lover moving closer, soft lips on his neck, and a hand running over his abdomen. He placed his own hand on the vampire's fingers, effectively stopping them.

"Not tonight. I'm... very tired", he mumbled weakly. There was a gentle kiss on the side of his cheek, and for a moment, Johannes held him tight.

"Of course. You need rest. Sleep well", he said quietly and pulled the covers better over the young man. Alfred sighed and closed his eyes, knowing already it wouldn't be comforting dreamless sleep he'd have, but nightmares.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

As promised, Dracula left the next night, muttering as he went about how he'd go and find himself a nice virgin maiden, because_ "you lot are so depressing I might pass out if I stay any longer". _Of course he'd make it sound like he was the scorned guest and that he was leaving out of his volition, rather than having no other choice. Alfred was fairly certain this occasion should have been relieving, but there was little joy for him in the vampire's departure: even if the man himself left, his words did not.

Why it was that the Count didn't seem to notice something was bothering Alfred, the young man wasn't sure. Usually he was pretty sharp about things like that – especially with his ability to read minds. Alfred suspected it was because Krolock was just as troubled by Dracula's visit as he was, and thus was too preoccupied to notice there was something wrong.

He knew he should probably have confined in his vampire lover, because that's what people did. They were supposed to share their troubles and comfort each other. But how was he supposed to talk about it? If anything, he feared the Count would be angry and offended if he heard that Alfred was scared he'd hurt him. Maybe he'd be insulted too that the human would actually listen to what Dracula said.

As for Herbert, Alfred couldn't really tell if the viscount knew what was bothering him. Perhaps the blond vampire thought it was because of the conversation they had had and nothing more. In any case, there seemed to be an atmosphere of apprehension resting on all of them, as even Herbert appeared kind of sapped of his usual flamboyance.

The day after Dracula's departure, Alfred walked down to the village – if just to give himself something to do. He hoped that the fresh air would help him clear his head or at least take away the uneasiness. However, it did little to improve his mood: the villagers were just as hostile as before. If anything, he was feeling ever worse when he turned back to return to the castle.

The village had just fallen behind when the unexpected shout came: "Hey there! Wait!"

In surprise and confusion, Alfred halted and turned around. He had no idea of why any of the villagers would actually shout for him like that. Yet there was a young woman standing not far from him; she was probably around his age, about the same height as Alfred was, and with sandy messy hair that pillowed about her round face even despite her obvious attempts to tame it down into braids. She wasn't exactly pretty with her pointed nose and lips that were slightly too full for her face, but she had a ready smile and the kindest, liveliest eyes Alfred had ever seen.

"Um... can I help you?" he asked warily. Looking at her again, he realized he had seen her couple of times down at the village. She had never looked at him with any particular malice, but instead rather curiously.

"Do you mind if I walk with you for a bit?" she asked and smiled; she had a pleasant, almost melodic voice.

"I... I don't think that's such a good idea", Alfred mumbled, feeling more and more confused by the moment.

"Well, I think it is", she said with a bright smile. "I'm Lotte. You're Alfred, aren't you?"

"Yes, that's my name", the young man said doubtfully.

"You live up at the castle, don't you?" Lotte asked and linked her arm with his, as if they were old friends. Alfred was too taken aback to try and disentangle their arms.

"Uh... I do", he answered, staring at her incredulously. "That doesn't seem to bother you."

"Why should it? You often look so lonely that I figured you could use someone to talk to. But I must say I only now got courage to actually do so. Mama thinks it's not such a good idea, and I do get where she's coming from... but you don't seem very dangerous to me", she said and sounded so very lively and happy that it was impossible for Alfred to feel bad anymore.

"Really, you should go back", he said awkwardly, although he wasn't sure he really _wanted _her to go away. Ever since that fateful night back at the castle, there hadn't been many chances for polite conversations with another human. As much as he might like the two Krolocks, sometimes their company was a bit intimidating.

"Why is that?" Lotte asked, seeming genuinely confused.

"Because I'm... I'm involved", Alfred muttered. He couldn't tell her the truth, could he? She wouldn't understand anyway. If anything, she'd probably be dismayed to hear that a possessive vampire count might come and bite her head off.

"Involved with what? Or whom?" she inquired and studied him curiously. "With _him – _His Excellency, I mean?"

"Yes", Alfred said miserably, waiting for that inevitable moment that she'd regard him like he was something disgusting. Lotte's eyes widened just slightly.

"In what way... oh! I see", she said and nodded. "I understand. I'm not scared, though. He wouldn't mind if I just walk for a bit with you? It's not like I'm trying to steal you from him or anything."

Now Alfred was profoundly confused. Why did she still act like it was nothing? He knew that what he had with the Count was something most people frowned upon... and worse. As a matter of fact, that was what he had more or less thought himself before this crazy dream had started. And yet this strange girl apparently thought nothing of it!

"You don't seem very appalled that I'm..." he began, feeling more than just a little awkward, and his voice trailed off before he could finish the sentence. Actually he didn't even had any idea of what he would have said.

"Why would I be?" Lotte asked and shrugged. "I think it'd be silly for me to be offended or appalled by what other people decide to do together. Why should _I _be insulted by how others find happiness in their lives? And besides, the girls back at the village say he's very handsome and charming and I don't think they'd mind if he appeared under their windows at night. I'm not sure how they know, but still. If you asked them, they'd think you've made a great catch."

Needless to say, her choice of words made him blush.

"It's just... I didn't think anyone would understand", he said slowly after regaining his ability to speak, watching her from the corner of his eye. "Even I don't understand sometimes."

"It's all right. If it makes you happy, then there's nothing peculiar about it and I'm glad for you", Lotte said with a smile.

"You're very strange", Alfred blurted out before he could stop himself. She gave a bright laughter – it almost sounded like bells.

"People often tell me that", she said, but then her face became slightly worried. "Do you mean bad strange or good strange?"

"Good strange, I think", he answered. It was now his turn to smile; her spirits were very infecting kind. Lotte smiled back at him.

"Nice to hear that. Strangeness seems to bother people sometimes", she said.

"I suppose it does", Alfred agreed. "But my life has been very strange for some time now so I barely notice anymore."

Lotte nodded thoughtfully, and for a moment, they walked in silence. He found it a bit difficult not to keep glancing at this strange girl, but she didn't seem to notice his curiosity. Rather, there was almost dreamy expression on her face. After a moment she looked at him again.

"Do you think you'd like to walk with me again some time?" she asked hopefully. Alfred halted and stared at her in surprise.

"Why would you want that?" he asked back. A small smile appeared on her face.

"Because I think both of us could use a friend", she said quietly. "A friend who doesn't judge."

The young man lowered his eyes, and then he nodded.

"Yes. I suppose you're right", he said at length. A big grin spread on Lotte's face and she quickly hugged him.

"I'm very glad to hear that", she said and winked. "I think I'll have to go back before Mama starts to wonder where I am. And before that count of yours begins to think I've kidnapped you."

Alfred gave an awkward little laugh at that; it was slightly unnerving how she didn't seem to think much of a fearsome vampire's wrath falling upon her.

"Might I see you tomorrow?" Lotte asked, enthusiasm colouring her voice. Alfred smiled shyly.

"I'll see if I can come", he said tentatively, and she grinned.

"We'll see tomorrow, then!" she said happily, patted his arm and turned to hurry back to her village; Alfred stayed to watch her go for a long while, wondering what it was he was getting himself – and her – into here.

* * *

While Alfred wasn't sure it was such a good idea to socialize with Lotte, going out to see her did have an improving impact on his mood. She was kind and funny and full of life, and in many ways she reminded Alfred of Sarah. Like the young woman he had so much wanted to save, Lotte too had endless curiosity for the life at the castle and the world whence he had come. But she was different too. She said strange and unexpected things and she seemed to care more about those around her. Yet she didn't have many friends, which, according to Lotte, seemed to be because people usually found her odd.

"It doesn't really bother me these days anymore. It's not all bad to be alone", she just said when he asked if she was ever lonely. Then she smiled. "And after all, I've got you now, don't I?"

"You do", Alfred had said quietly and blushed.

He usually met her in the woods; obviously, he couldn't take her up to the castle and he didn't think it would be good for her if she was seen with him.

"I don't want people scorning you just because of me", he told her. "But don't they wonder where you go all alone?"

Lotte giggled.

"Well, you could say they're well used to me wandering off by myself", she said, her eyes glinting mischievously.

"Don't you fear that some monster from the castle is going to snatch you?" Alfred asked, feeling more playful than he had in some time.

"You and that hunchback are the only ones from the castle who actually come out during the day, and I'm pretty sure I can outrun Koukol. As for you... I'm not sure I'd mind it very much if you decided to snatch me", she answered, nudging at his side with her elbow. He blushed and looked quickly away.

For all Alfred loved Johannes, it was still nice to talk with someone who wasn't as moody as the vampire and had considerably lighter sense or humour – or wasn't fond of making lewd comments like Herbert. Sometimes he even felt more or less inadequate with the vampires around: he wasn't as smart or graceful or experienced as his lover was but clumsy and awkward and silly. But in Lotte's presence, none of that seemed to matter. She was human and knew nothing of flying on the wings of the night or dark passions or sharing your life's blood with a vampire. Lotte was easy to talk to, even about more troubling topics. And she always seemed to have kind and wise words in store. For all her strangeness, she sometimes came across as someone much older than her years.

Alfred didn't know how he could have explained it, but she was also a great comfort – especially with how the Count seemed to be even more morose after Dracula's visit than he usually was. He was snappy and reticent and quarrelsome, even to the point of straining Herbert's usual good spirits.

"He's always like this for weeks, if not months, after Dracula's visit", the blond vampire had muttered. "It's best if you just leave him alone to his brooding. He'll come around sooner or later."

That wasn't really as easy as Herbert made it sound, though, but at least Alfred could escape during the day hours. Lotte's unending store of smiles and good spirit seemed to help a lot, especially when he had to go back and deal with the sulking vampires.

"Do you ever miss home, or think of going back?" she asked one day when he had come to meet her as usual. They had built a small fire to stay warm, and she had brought a fresh pie straight from the oven, which had been a nice surprise; Koukol's meals weren't very large or varied, and Alfred wasn't much of a cook either.

"I do miss it sometimes, but I don't often think of going back. Not so much, not anymore. I used to think about it a lot more, but... these days I just forget", he said and licked last of the grease from his fingers. Turned out Lotte's mother was quite the magician when it came to food.

"I'd love to see Königsberg some day. It sounds like a very nice place", she said and fed some wood to the fire.

"It is nice", Alfred said quietly and sighed. "I wonder if anyone there misses me... if they ever even stop and think of what might have happened to me."

"Did you have a lot of friends?" Lotte asked.

"Well... I did have a lot of peers. But I was a bit too shy and withdrawn to really make many friends. And at the university, I was always interested in the strangest things that no one else even paid attention to... that's how I became the Professor's assistant in the first place. You could say that he _was_ the very strangest thing in Königsberg", he said, smiling fondly at the mention of his old mentor. Then he sighed again, more heavily this time.

"What is it, Alfred?" Lotte asked, searching his face with concerned eyes.

"Shy as I was, there was so much light in my world back then. There was hope and life. But now... it's just this... this love in the dark", Alfred said, feeling somewhat miserable, and also kind of ashamed for feeling so, like he was betraying something important. She moved over to sit beside him and lay a hand on his shoulder.

"Are you unhappy?" she asked softly.

"I... I don't know. Most of the time, I'm... content. Maybe it's wrong of me to complain like this. It could have turned out worse, I think", he said slowly. "But sometimes, I wonder..."

"About what?"

"How it could have turned out", Alfred mumbled, staring down in the flames.

"That's what people always think. How it'd have been if you didn't do this or that. But I'm not really sorry that it _did _turn out like this, because otherwise, I'd not have a friend as good as you now", Lotte said gently. "Maybe that's selfish of me to say that, but what I mean is that you should always try to look at the bright side."

"You're probably right. And I'm glad too that I met you. This just... this isn't where I thought I'd end up in my life", he uttered.

"Do you love him?" Lotte asked then. "You don't have to answer, if you don't want to."

"... I do. I do love him. Maybe even more than I've ever loved anybody", Alfred answered quietly. "I know it's crazy, but... I can't help it, even if it'd probably be better if I could. Right now, it's kind of difficult in the castle... He's been on a bad mood lately, and I... sometimes I fear that he... that he might do something to me. Something bad."

"You don't have to justify yourself or your feelings to me", she said, her voice gentle. "But if you really feel that he might hurt you, then... well, I think you should speak with him. Be honest about your fears. Love doesn't always make sense, but if you think it's worth it, then you have to work for it. Nurture it."

"I suppose so", he agreed. It was definitely true that love didn't make sense in this case: nothing about his relationship with the Count really seemed like something that happened in the real world. As for actually talking about it with his lover... Alfred had no idea if he could do that. But then, who could he trust if not the man he shared his life with?

"Does he love you in turn?" Lotte asked after being silent for a moment.

"I... I don't know. It's hard to tell with him and he never really says anything... but I think he at least likes that I'm there", Alfred said, biting his lip. It actually bothered him a lot, not being able to tell what was the truth. As much as he'd have liked to believe what Herbert had said, he couldn't really bring himself to do it... because if Herbert was wrong, and he let himself to believe those words... it'd be all the worse if it turned out that the Count didn't return his feelings.

"That's kind of unfair to you, if you ask me", she mused and poked at the fire with a stick she had found somewhere. "I mean, you having and giving all this emotion, and receiving nothing in return."

"He's not like us", Alfred said in a weak voice. "One shouldn't expect something like that from him."

"But you're not like him. Maybe one shouldn't expect you to just give endlessly without getting anything back", Lotte pointed out.

"It's not like that. He does care for me, in his own way. And I'm not unhappy with him. Maybe it's not always what I'd want, but... but he does look after me", Alfred said quickly, remembering how the vampire had attacked Dracula in murderous anger just for daring to touch him. That wasn't probably the best and nicest reference, but what should one expect with vampires?

Then again, that might just prove Lotte's point. Biting his lip, he stared down and tried to swallow a lump that had formed in his throat.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you", she said softly and gave his hand a gentle squeeze. "I just worry for you, Alfred. I want you to be happy."

"That's very kind", Alfred mumbled and stared down into the flames. "But you needn't feel concern for me. I'm fine. And well... it's not like I have much choice anyway."

"What do you mean?" Lotte asked, watching him curiously. Although she had become a good friend – maybe even the best one he had ever really had – there was one thing he hadn't told her and that was why he had stayed in the castle in the first place. She had never asked either.

"I... I promised to stay in Sarah's stead. As long as I remain at the castle, she won't have to", he said slowly, not really able to bring himself to tell her the truth of it. Suddenly, he felt very conflicted: he had spent the past months more or less with his head high up in clouds, too infatuated with his lover to even remember of the reason he had originally come to stay with him.

"It's not right, Alfred. You shouldn't be there because you feel obligated to do so. It should be because you _want _to", Lotte said, her voice suddenly very ardent.

"But I... I do want to be there", he said quietly. Indeed, he did, and now that he thought of it, the idea of leaving was almost kind of scary.

And, just like always, none of it made any sense.

Alfred felt so torn that it was almost painful. On the other hand, there was the deal he had made with bitter knowledge he'd die at the Count's hands. Yet in the other there was the love in the dark... And at this moment, he couldn't say which one weighed more.

"Alfred-" Lotte was about to speak, but he stumbled up quickly, feeling slightly nauseous.

"I must go", he managed to utter, and then he was running, fearing his heart might burst because of all the painful things he was feeling.

* * *

The sun was setting when Alfred got back. Ever since he had left Lotte, he had just wandered back and forth, not really sure where he was going. He had even gotten lost couple of times. When the light of day began to fade, he became aware of the passing of time once more; Johannes would wonder where he were if he wasn't back at the castle by sundown. Not that it was such a strict limit anymore, but the vampire didn't seem to like not knowing where Alfred was. Apparently it was because of that snowstorm that had almost killed him - which wasn't entirely unjustified, when he thought about it.

He had spent what seemed like hours and hours just thinking of everything: of his feelings and wondering if there was something wrong with him for loving the man who had imprisoned him and had regarded – possibly still did – him as his property. But then, there was no way about it. It was the blood, and it was his own fault for letting Krolock feed on him again and again until all reason was gone. Like always, he couldn't pluck away the feelings he had, no matter how much his reason screamed at him.

After getting back inside the castle and climbing up the great staircase to the next floor, he came across the Count; at the sight of him, a familiar faint smile appeared on that pale face.

"There you are. I was wondering where you might have hidden yourself", he said and pulled Alfred towards himself, like he had so often done. When he kissed the young man, Alfred couldn't feel the familiar warmth that usually came with the affections, but he still answered the kiss out of not wanting to alarm his lover. But of course the vampire would notice. He pulled back and studied Alfred's face.

"Is something troubling you?" he asked and brushed a gentle hand across the other one's cheek.

Swallowing hard, Alfred tried to think of what to say. He remembered Lotte's words – that he should be honest. But could he do that? Then again, was it a love worth having if he couldn't even trust the one he claimed to care for? Yet there was so much to be said, and he didn't even know how to begin.

"I... it bothers me that..." he said slowly, but words seemed to fail him. The vampire stared at him expectantly, with a curious look in the clear blue eyes.

"Perhaps we should speak of this somewhere else than in the middle of a corridor", Krolock decided finally, when Alfred couldn't find a way to finish the sentence. He beckoned the young man to follow him, and they walked into the sitting room they often occupied by nights. There was a divan there, at the other end of the room, and after sitting down, the Count patted the place beside himself. Quietly, Alfred sat down and called for the right words. It was complicated in his mind, so how was he supposed to explain it so that the other one would see where he was coming from?

"Now, speak. What is it that has you so upset? Has something happened?" the vampire asked and studied the other one's face intently.

"It's just... knowing why I am here. I mean... why I came to be here in the first place. It bothers me", Alfred said slowly, feeling completely idiotic. This was just the sort of thing Johannes wouldn't understand. "I shouldn't be here because I feel forced to do so. I should be here because... because I..."

_Because I love you. _But he couldn't say that. Not now, maybe not ever. The Count was staring at him quietly with a blank face; Alfred had no idea what he might be thinking. Probably wondering what on earth even was the problem here.

"I should be here because I want to be with you. It should be a choice made freely", he mumbled. Dear Lord, it sounded pathetic even to himself! And none of it came out like he had thought it would. Feeling stupid and embarrassed, he lowered his gaze and hoped that the floor under his feet would swallow him before he'd have to look up and see the vampire's face, which no doubt was beyond puzzled.

Finally, his lover spoke.

"Dearest Alfred. To be completely honest, I had forgotten about that", he said quietly, brushing one finger over the young man's cheek. "And I must say... you're probably the most _human _of all the people I've ever had as my lover."

Then he moved closer and gently turned Alfred's face towards himself, searching for his eyes.

"Do you want to be here, Alfred?" he asked.

"I... I do", the other one said, and a smile appeared on the Count's face.

"Then stay, and forget about trivial things such as why you first came to be here. You did choose to come to me, did you not? That was choice you made out of your own free will. But, I must ask you: what good is freedom, when there's only a cold, dark world out there? Where the sun is pale and cannot keep you warm, and men will lie to you and steal from you and make you suffer... You're safe here, safer than in most places. And I'll look after you", he said softly, taking Alfred's head between his hands. "Freedom is a lie and a shadow at best, anyway."

"But this", he whispered, planting kisses on Alfred's forehead and cheeks, "is _real. _Would you trade it for homelessness and uncertain future?"

"No", Alfred uttered; somehow, it was both sweet and painful at the same time, and his breath was caught in his throat.

Cupping his face in his hands, Johannes looked at the young man with the strangest expression.

"Our deal... it means nothing now", he whispered and leaned down to kiss his young human lover.

Alfred couldn't help but answer the kiss and give into the embrace, wondering if this was the closest to _those words _he'd ever hear.

* * *

"Koukol tells me that you spend a lot of time outside these days", the vampire said one night when Alfred was brushing his hair. He wouldn't admit it of course, but he appeared to enjoy having his hair brushed very much. Luckily, Alfred wasn't completely incompetent when it came to that; when he had been younger, he had often brushed his mother's hair.

At hearing his lover's words, he momentarily froze and tried to think of something to say. However, the other one continued before he could speak.

"It's not that I mind. Of course you can go. It seems to make you happy, after all", Johannes said quietly, inspecting his long nails. It was actually rather odd to realize the awkward note in the usually confident and calm vampire's voice.

"It does make me happy", Alfred said at length. A part of him was dismayed that he didn't possess the vampire ability of reading others' minds, for he'd very much have liked to know what the Count was thinking of currently.

"Hmm. I suppose it is good for your kind. I sometimes forget that you humans don't usually thrive in the dark", Johannes noted and fell silent for a moment before speaking again, "But tell me, what is it that draws you out so often? The woods can't really be _that _exciting."

"I just like walking around", the young man said quickly. "And seeing how winter grows older with each passing day. But couldn't you just read my mind if you wanted to know?"

"I trust you", the Count said plainly. "I would also imagine that you'd appreciate some privacy with your thoughts."

It took Alfred several long minutes to actually understand what that meant. Somehow, it was _touching._

"I... thank you, I suppose", he said, his voice just a bit weak. He realized he had stopped brushing and quickly continued. The vampire chuckled softly.

"You trust me with your life all the time. It seems fair that I'd trust you in turn..."

He turned then and looked quietly at Alfred, and the young man was fairly certain he had never seen the Count's eyes quite so soft.

That moment, despite what Dracula had said and everything he had spoken of with Lotte, he felt like falling in love all over again.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

It was past sunset when Alfred entered the master bedchamber in the search of a shirt he seemed to have misplaced. In a building of this size, it was very easy to lose one's possessions. Half the time he wasn't even sure where his things were at the moment, what with how he more or less seemed to live in the Count's bedchamber these days.

The vampire himself was sat by the fire, leaning his chin on one pale hand as he stared mutely into the flames. Of course, Alfred should have noticed his expression and known what it meant. That sort of frown usually meant Krolock was best left alone.

"Have you seen my..." he began, but his voice trailed off when he took in the expression on the other one's face.

However, Alfred wasn't wise this time – if he ever really was. Perhaps in the light of recent happenings, he was hoping that his lover was getting more comfortable in sharing things like this. But then, as always, it was hard to tell with him.

"Is something wrong?" Alfred asked and padded to the other one's side, wondering what it might be that had the tall man look so sour.

"Nothing", the Count said curtly and somewhat coolly, which should have been warning enough.

"You can tell me, if something's bothering you", the young man coaxed, laying a hand on the vampire's forearm.

"I said it's nothing", Krolock snapped, his frown deepening. Somehow, it made him look older.

"Oh, come on. Even you don't believe that yourself, and I-" Alfred said and tried to settle down on the armrest of the chair, but before he could do that or finish his sentence, an unrelenting hand shoved him away. With a gasp of surprise, he lost his footing and fell down on the floor.

Before he could even register what had happened, the vampire was already on his feet and lifting him up from the floor.

"Forgive my temper. Are you hurt?" the Count asked, awkwardly smoothing Alfred's clothes.

"No... no", the young man said finally when he found his voice again. "I'm fine."

"Good", the vampire said and planted a kiss on Alfred's forehead. "There's some business I need to attend to. Your shirt is under the bed."

Then he strode out, and it was a long moment before Alfred could breathe freely again.

* * *

It wasn't entirely unusual that Herbert would wander the corridors in various states of undress, which sometimes amazed Alfred, considering how aware the viscount was of all things related to outer appearances. Sometimes he'd go about with his shirt nearly halfway unbuttoned, or in a long robe (lavender, of course), which was what he was wearing at the moment. Apparently, his natural good looks were the only adornment he needed (but that still didn't mean he didn't enjoy dressing up).

That was how Alfred found Herbert from the vampire's bedchamber. Decorated with golden and creamy white furnishings and objects, it was a lot lighter than any room in the castle. The owner of the room himself was sprawled on the bed, flipping through some illustrated magazine (evidently, it took forever for them to arrive from Paris – a fact that endlessly annoyed Herbert). Alfred had never visited the viscount's bedchamber, but if he had learned something while he had lived in the castle, it was the fact that Herbert was usually the one who could explain the Count's oddities and behavior the best. So he had sought the viscount out and ended up in the vampire's bedchamber. If the mountain did not come to the Prophet... well, obviously the Prophet had to seek out the mountain this time.

"Oh, hello, Alfred. What are you doing here? Not that you can't be in my room – actually this is something I wouldn't have expected to happen – but still. Oh my. Were you hoping to catch me indecent in my boudoir? Have you decided you want to elope with me after all?" Herbert asked, not even trying to hold back a self-satisfied smile.

"Herbert!" Alfred groaned, rolling his eyes. Herbert grinned shamelessly and sat up on the bed, crossing his legs. Then he looked at the human a bit more seriously.

"Is something wrong? Come sit here with me", he urged and patted the place beside him. Alfred eyed the bed with unveiled suspicion; now it was the vampire's turn to roll his eyes. "Oh, please. I'm not going to touch you funnily and you know that. Now come here."

Silently, Alfred obeyed and padded over to the bed and sat down at the edge. Herbert smiled brightly, and the young man idly thought it was ridiculous how pretty he could look when he smiled.

"What is it, then? You wouldn't come here if something wasn't troubling you", the blond vampire asked.

"I was wondering... what is wrong with your father? He seemed very cranky. More so than usual", Alfred asked, folding his hands in his lap.

"Well, I'd say it's at least partly because of Dracula... It's really astounding sometimes how that man manages to poison Vati's mood. That's not all of it, though. It seems to me he's also angry because one of the older vampires asked when he'd give you up to them. For them to eat, you know", Herbert said and winced. "She seemed to think that Vati should be, hmm, through with you already."

"Oh", was the only thing Alfred really managed. It wasn't that he was scared of something happening to him; he just was uncomfortable with thinking of his own demise, which probably wasn't so unreasonable of him.

"You don't have to be worried for that one. Vati carried her up to the highest tower and tossed her down. He did that several times, actually", Herbert said with a joyless smile. "I don't think they'll be asking to have you again."

"That is... horrible", Alfred mumbled. Sometimes he found himself forgetting what it was his lover was actually capable of – which was scary, when he thought of it.

"Oh, don't worry. She survived. But it was necessary, if you ask me. Vampires have pretty thick skulls sometimes... you need to use force to get your point through", the viscount said, apparently trying to come across as comforting.

"Is he... is he usually violent?" Alfred asked then, not finding it in himself to look at the vampire.

"No, not really. Vati rarely reacts emotionally enough to anything to be violent. Of course, you'd probably think it ugly what he sometimes has to do to keep order, but that's vampires for you", Herbert said and made a face. "I, for one, take much pride in how sophisticated I am."

Then he sighed. "But pain... it's different to us than to you. Sometimes, one forgets that humans are different."

"What do you mean? How's it different?" Alfred asked.

"We do notice pain, really. I don't know if we just have high tolerance for it or if we're not just as sensitive as you, but... maybe it's because we can't die, and we can become reckless. Many vampires take pretty hard blows during their existence, so pain isn't what it was when we lived", Herbert explained and leaned his chin on his palm. "What I mean is that, for a vampire, it's easy to forget how much you humans can actually take. So we might be kind of rough, you know."

"I see", the human said quietly. He wasn't sure if this was consoling or not.

"I should probably have told you this a long ago", Herbert mused, frowning slightly. "There's so much about our kind that you don't know. I suppose I just forget sometimes that you don't know... We don't usually associate with humans like we do with you, and I've been a vampire so long that I just assume everyone knows this without telling."

"It's all right", Alfred said and managed to offer a small smile to his undead friend.

When he left Herbert's room, he wondered if he'd ever have plunged into this mad dream if he had known half of the things he had learned from the blond vampire.

* * *

After his confrontation (or assault) with Dracula in the kitchens, Alfred had felt very uncomfortable when he had come there the next time. Of course the vampire had then been sleeping and thus unable to approach him again, but the memory of what had happened had been too fresh still. Ever since, he had felt more or less anxious when he had had to do something in the kitchen, even if it was something as small as doing his dishes.

That was what he was doing when Johannes strode in. Alfred didn't know why, but he always looked very out of place in the kitchens. Sometimes he had amused himself by imagining the vampire trying to cook something; usually the imaginations ended with some sort of extensive but still funny catastrophe.

"What is it?" Alfred asked, putting down the plate he had been scrubbing clean. Something had to be wrong to make the other one come here of all places.

The Count didn't answer at first, but settled so that he could lean on the counter, studying the human's face quietly for a moment. When he spoke, his voice was very calm – colourless, even.

"It'd please me very much if you didn't go down to the village anymore", he said at last. Alfred frowned.

"I don't understand. Why is my going there bad?" he asked.

"Because of several reasons actually", the vampire said, straightening himself. "For one, I find it unfit that you would act as some sort of deliverer boy – which you are not. Koukol is perfectly capable of doing that task."

"But I don't mind. I like walking, so I might as well help him out a bit", Alfred argued, his frown deepening along with his confusion.

"Are you a servant, Alfred?" the Count asked sharply, crossing his arms across his chest.

"No", the young man said uncertainly.

"Then do not act like one. Leave such tasks to those who are more suitable for it", Krolock said.

"That didn't seem to bother you when I first came here", Alfred muttered.

"That was then", the vampire snapped, his sharp stare turning into something like a glare now. "Besides, didn't you yourself say that the people at the village were hostile towards you? Why would you want to socialize with them?"

"I... well, maybe not all of them really hate me!" the human said quickly.

"I'm not willing to take chances. To my experience, people often have an unpleasant way of reacting irrationally and they might even attack you. And as you make your trips during the daytime, I can't be there to watch over you", the tall man said, his voice sounding overly patient now. "This is not a request, Alfred. This is an order."

"But why would they attack me? I haven't done anything to them", Alfred asked and stared at his lover – he didn't even know what to say about his _order_. In fact, it was surprising. The vampire had never really bossed him around... at least not ever since their relations had become more and more intimate. _I'm yours, but not yours to command. _But something held him back from saying _that _out loud.

"Why do you humans ever do anything?" Krolock asked sharply. "You're not to go there again. And that is my final word on the matter."

Then he strode out, leaving the silently fuming Alfred all alone in the kitchens.

* * *

The sun was riding high the next day when Alfred ventured out. Still feeling irritable after the last night, he hoped that maybe a walk in the spring sun and perhaps a talk with his friend would improve his mood. He hadn't seen his vampire lover ever since the encounter in the kitchens; it appeared that the Count hadn't even slept beside him. He didn't dare to think whether it was a sign of bad mood after their conversation or just some random, meaningless action.

Why was the usually calm, rational and collected vampire acting this way, Alfred didn't know. To be honest, his reasons for why the young man shouldn't go down to the village seemed more like excuses. True, Alfred had worried that the villagers would attack him if he didn't stay out, but in the end he had decided it was a silly notion. He did feel that the Count might have another reason for his request/order, though... and it bothered him that Johannes hadn't been honest about it.

Angrily, Alfred kicked a small pebble and let out a frustrated sigh. Why was it so wrong of him to want to talk (or at least interact) with some humans for every now and then? The Count had seemed to understand his longing for the presence of other humans before, after all.

Lotte was already waiting for him on their usual meeting place, poking the ashes of their previous little fire with a stick. Her face lightened up with a big grin when she saw him approaching, and she ran at him, grabbing him into a big hug.

"I missed you! Where have you been?" she demanded to know after she had practically walked him by hand to the trunk of a fallen tree they used as a seat.

"Up at the castle, of course", he said warily. He hadn't been out in couple days, and he realized how it must have looked like to her. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you worry."

"It's fine. I thought maybe you were busy", Lotte said and smiled. "But I'm still happy you're back."

"I'm happy too", Alfred said, answering her smile with one of his own. "How have you been?"

"As usual. The life at the village – it never really changes, you know", she said. "There's nothing very exciting to tell. But how about you?"

Alfred remained quiet for a long while, trying to think of what he should say. He didn't want to make her worry for him, after all. Well, at least not any more than she already probably did.

"I'm fine", he said at last, not meeting her gaze.

"Really?" Lotte asked, not really sounding convinced. "If something is wrong, you can tell me. You can trust me."

"I know that", Alfred said quietly, staring at the ground in the front of him. Then he glanced at her. "It's nothing serious. You needn't worry for me."

"Then what is it?" she wanted to know, searching his face with concerned eyes.

"Just... he thinks I shouldn't come down to the village anymore. He says it's because picking up supplies is a servant's work and because the people there could attack me", Alfred answered. "I think it doesn't make sense, but he's too pig-headed to even listen to me."

Lotte regarded him for a moment, and then gave a small smile.

"Alfred, I might not be right, but if you ask me, he sounds like he's being _jealous", _she said and squeezed his hand.

"Jealous? Why?" the young man asked with considerable astonishment. As a matter of fact, he was fairly sure that if it ever came to jealousy, _he _would be the one suffering from such emotion. After all, he wasn't as good-looking or graceful and he didn't possess such an immaculate taste in dressing, nor were his manners as smooth... why would anyone prefer _him _over a wealthy, suave aristocrat, Alfred couldn't say.

"Why is anyone ever jealous? It's not really a rational emotion", Lotte said, however; apparently she was oblivious to Alfred's observations. Then she fell silent, and when she spoke again, her voice was soft, "But I can sort of see why he would be."

"What do you mean?" Alfred asked and felt even more puzzled now. She turned to look at him once again, but she wouldn't answer his question. Feeling more and more confused, he was about to speak again, but he never got the chance. Not when she practically jumped at him and kissed him.

And to his own surprise, he kissed her back. Not because he was thinking or anything, but just because it seemed like a good idea at the moment. He did it because she was warm and soft and alive, and she had those curves he wasn't so used to feeling under his hands... The most astounding thing was that _she was warm._ Her arms were about him then and she pressed herself closer, and he couldn't help but hold her tight. Her kiss was so very different and she tasted _different; _while she was passionate, it was nothing like Johannes.

The thought of _him _finally brought Alfred back, and with a shocked gasp, he pulled away from her and stumbled back very ungracefully. Feeling dumbfounded and distraught and also kind of ashamed, he just stared at her and wondered how he could have done something like this when there was Johannes...

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to do that – I don't know what came of me", Lotte blathered, her cheeks bright red with her embarrassment.

"I... It's all right", Alfred managed to mumble, feeling faint and a bit dizzy. A part of him actually wanted to kiss her again, but he had regained his reason, and he knew it would have been a very poor idea to do that.

"Are you very angry with me?" Lotte asked. She ounded more than just a little ashamed.

"Of course not!" Alfred answered quickly. "It wasn't bad. I liked that very much. But... but you know. I shouldn't really kiss you."

"You shouldn't", she agreed, quietly. She looked at him and seemed sad. "Although I'd want you to kiss me."

"And you know why I shouldn't", Alfred said, turning to stare at his hands. _Yes. _There was a very good reason for why he should have been running away right _now. _

"Yes. I know", Lotte sighed. "I really am sorry. I shouldn't have compromised you so."

"You don't have to apologize", he said. In a way, he felt it was as much his fault as hers.

"Alfred..." she sighed, placing her hand on his. For some reason, he felt like crying. None of this made any sense. In fact, it was like there hadn't been any reason in his life ever since he had come into this strange, distant land. Everything here was backwards, even his own heart. He had always been able to trust it to guide him, but now... it was just as confused as his head.

"I don't understand it. I do love him, but... but I like you too. Very much, actually", Alfred said, feeling frustrated. "How is that even possible? If I truly did love him, how can I..."

"It's all right, Alfred", Lotte said and smiled, but there was little joy in that expression. "That's just human heart. It doesn't always make sense the way you'd like it to. If it means anything, I think... I think it's just that you have a big heart for having so much love, and that's a gift."

"How is this a gift?" he asked and his voice was a bit too harsh, but she didn't mind. Instead, she squeezed his hand gently.

"I know it doesn't seem so", she said quietly. "But if I know you at all, I don't think you'd want to be without it."

She was right about that, of course, and she knew that. Alfred let out a long, heavy sigh. Then he looked at her, and in her eyes, he could see an entire life. A good one, actually, and she'd fill it with laughter and songs and all the things he could possibly dream of, and more. Lotte was special, after all. But it was something he couldn't – wouldn't – choose. Maybe, in an another life... but not now, not here.

"I can't do this with you. And I'm sorry. I didn't mean to lead you on", he said, feeling miserable. Lotte just smiled.

"I know that you can't. I didn't really expect you to... you've got him, after all. And based on what you've told about him, I don't think he'd be very happy about it either if he had to share you. What's more important, I wouldn't expect you to leave him either", she said and took his hand in hers. "It's all right, Alfred. As long as you're my friend, I'm happy."

"Lotte, I..." Alfred begun, but when he tried to speak, no words came out. In fact, he had no idea of what to say, for this was not an emotion he could put into words. She seemed to understand, though.

"You said you loved him", she said softly. "Is that still true?"

"It is. And... for better or worse, I don't think there's life for me now without him there. No matter what..." he mumbled. Lotte nodded.

"I understand. You don't have to explain yourself", she said, looking at him with gentle eyes. "You're a good man, Alfred. I just hope he understands how lucky he is to have you."

Alfred smiled at that, albeit a bit weakly. He squeezed her hand.

"Friends always?" he asked, and Lotte smiled.

"Always."

* * *

The sun was setting when Alfred got back to the castle. Somehow, he felt tired... but mostly emotionally. Still, his resolve seemed stronger, and he felt better overall. He wasn't sure why that was, but knowing what he could have had with Lotte didn't make him feel miserable. Perhaps it was because he now knew where he stood when it came to her. He had made his choice, and maybe it was stupid or just plain insane, but he did love the Count. And that was the road he'd follow until the very end – whatever that might be.

Humming to himself, he climbed upstairs and thought about a quick bath. However, he decided to go and look for his vampire lover first. One shouldn't hold a grudge, after all... maybe they could come up with some kind of a compromise about the whole going to village thing, though it'd probably be for the better if he didn't mention the possibility of the vampire being jealous. For one, His Irksomeness would never admit that. Alfred allowed himself a small smile as he went along to find Johannes.

The soft sound of violin guided him to the room where Krolock usually played his violin. It had probably been someone's bedchamber long ago, but all the furniture had been removed since, leaving only a small table for the violin case and sheet music. While the vampire wasn't too fond of being stared at (Alfred couldn't tell why that was), the young man secretly liked looking at him. He wouldn't have been able to explain that, but it probably had something to do with how Johannes made everything look so... effortless. He had this fluid way of moving and carrying himself, and Alfred was fairly sure he'd have looked like that even if he had been shoveling horse manure. He wondered if it was some vampire thing or a family trait (Herbert was like that too).

But one of his favourite things was looking at the Count when he was playing violin. The look on his face, the music he'd conjure with the beautiful instrument, and the atmosphere created by moonlight... it was actually very beautiful. He remembered that one night he had sat on the bed, watching as his vampire lover had stood playing by the window, clad in nothing but in a pair of pants... That moment, he had been very sorry he had never learned how to draw.

Krolock was in the middle of a song when he entered, and as usual, Alfred stayed quiet. Closing his eyes, he concentrated on listening to the music; it seemed to be some new piece. The tune was bittersweet and somehow kind of dark, but beautiful too. Alfred had sometimes thought about asking why the Count would never play anything lighter, but he had decided to keep that question to himself.

After the song had ended, the vampire put down his instrument and approached Alfred.

"Where have you been?" he asked as he pulled the young man against himself.

"I was out", Alfred said, resting his hands on his lover's waist. "I got lost couple of times."

"Hm. You should be more careful and look where you go. Not that I wouldn't be able to find you, but still... I do not like the idea of you stumbling about in the woods. You could be hurt", Johannes murmured and leaned in closer, inhaling deeply. Suddenly, his eyes narrowed.

"What is it?" Alfred asked, instantly alarmed. He didn't like that look at all.

"What is this scent all over you?" the vampire asked and came very close, smelling Alfred again. "Another human, I see. Is there something you'd like to tell me?"

His voice had become very low, even dangerous. It was a tone he had never used with the young man. A small whimper escaped Alfred's mouth when the Count's long, sharp nails dug into his shoulder.

"Well? Why is there an unfamiliar scent on you? You went to the village, didn't you?" Krolock said, his voice more a snarl than anything. "I see. There's some girl there, and you're thinking of leaving now. No wonder all you do these days is go out... You're planning escape, aren't you?"

"No! It's not like that!" Alfred exclaimed. "She's just my friend, I wasn't going to do anything, it was just a kiss..."

"Just a kiss?" the vampire asked, sounding so calm that it couldn't be a sign of anything else than suppressed but intense anger. And true enough, his fingers wound around Alfred's neck with bruising force. "You lie! I can smell her all over you!"

"I _am _yours! I promise I wasn't going to leave. I didn't mean to kiss her! I was just confused and scared and... it was a mistake – I wasn't thinking. But I wouldn't have left. Never. I swear!" Alfred croaked desperately, his voice choked as he tried to gasp for air and force his fingers in between those on his throat, to loosen the Count's grip.

Krolock let go as suddenly as he had grabbed Alfred in the first place. Coughing and gasping, the young man fell on the floor, his hand on his neck. It felt sore to his touch and he knew it would soon be on bruises. When a tall, dark shape loomed over him, he flinched and sunk down into a pathetic pile of fear. _You'll find yourself beaten and broken. _

"Forgive me. I didn't mean to harm you", said a soft, sad voice that was now void of anything that even vaguely resembled anger. There was a hand on Alfred's shoulder – it was barely even a touch. Trembling as he did so, the young man peered upwards and saw the Count's face.

"Please", was the only thing Alfred managed, and even that sounded very weak. He didn't even know what he was asking for.

"Don't be scared. I'm not going to hurt you... any more than I already did", Johannes sighed. "Can you stand up?"

"I... I don't know", Alfred mumbled quietly.

"Here, let me lift you up..." the vampire said, placing his hands under the young man's arms, but when he did so, Alfred flinched again. The Count drew back his hands and looked at him with an unexplainable expression. Then he stood up.

"I am sorry", he said, and then he was gone.

As for Alfred, his throat was still hurting when he got to his own old room. That night, he didn't go to the master bedchamber, but rather chose to sleep alone in the room that he had mostly used for storing his things ever since his relationship with the castle's master had become physical. Before he crawled under the slightly damp covers, he locked the door and in a streak of paranoia, pushed a table in the front of it. Then he curled up in a ball in the bed and finally allowed the tears that had been pooling in his eyes fall.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

Some time before midnight on the fourth day after the terrifying and painful confrontation, there was a knock on Alfred's door. It was the first day he had left the door unlocked. Slowly, he lifted his eyes from the book he hadn't really been reading and called: "Come in."

The Count stepped in, but didn't approach; rather, he remained at the door, wearing an expression Alfred could only call tired and sad. He didn't look very menacing then, but the young man still tensed. He hadn't seen his lover for four nights now, and beholding Krolock's face stirred confusing emotions inside him: there was fear, but his heart slightly swelled too.

He had not known he could still feel so after what had happened, and he wondered if he was very foolish for still having such affection.

"Evening, Alfred", the vampire said softly, studying him with crestfallen eyes. "How is your neck healing?"

"It's fine", Alfred said quietly and looked down on his book; he barely even saw the letters written on the pages.

"Let me see", the Count said, his voice a bit stronger this time. After a moment of hesitation, Alfred undid the bow at his neck and pulled down his collar. He knew how it looked: the bruises had turned ugly shades of yellow and purple. While it looked horrible, it didn't really hurt anymore.

Quietly, Krolock approached him and crouched on the front of him, brushing the back of his fingers against the bruised skin.

"Does it hurt?" he asked softly.

"No. Not anymore", Alfred answered, avoiding the Count's eyes as the vampire examined the damage he had done.

"I am very sorry", he said in a strained voice. "I... I shouldn't have done this. It was very horrible of me."

Alfred couldn't answer, so he just stared at the man on the front of him - or rather the top of his head, as meeting the other's gaze seemed too hard. Slowly, Krolock lifted his eyes and searched the human's face in silence.

"That girl", he said then, his voice weary, "she came here last night, when you were already asleep. She asked for you... wanted to know if you were all right. I... I might have lied a bit."

He grimaced and stood up again, staring out of the window. Alfred regarded him warily, wanting to ask if he had hurt her. He wouldn't do that, would he? Then again, the young man hadn't thought he'd hurt him either...

"She asked if she could come and see you... I said no", the vampire continued quietly. "She was very polite and respectful... even curtsied at me like a proper little lady, and asked to pass along her regards. Then she left. Your friend... she seems like a nice young woman. I wonder, though... why would a peasant like her want to tell a beast she has been taught to fear ever since her birth that you love me very much?"

A faint moan escaped the young man's lips as he stared down in his hands. Why had Lotte said that?!

"Would you look at me, Alfred?" the Count asked, sounding gentle now, and reluctantly the human did as he was bid. The tall aristocrat's face was unsmiling as he regarded Alfred. He wondered if he should say something, but he couldn't think of anything. So he just sat there silently, his eyes fixed those of Krolock's.

"I have no excuses for what I did", Johannes said slowly. "And for that, I will not try to explain myself. I won't ask you to forgive me either. Just... know that I am truly sorry."

He turned to leave then, and was already at the door when Alfred finally stood up and spoke.

"Wait", he said quietly, and the vampire froze where he stood, his hand on the doorknob. Silently, the young man padded over to the man he had loved... and still did, against all reason. Gingerly, he touched the other one's arm; the tall man slowly turned around and studied him warily. One long moment of silence passed, and then Alfred spoke again: "Will you promise me something?"

"Of course", the Count said, staring at him with some curiosity in his eyes now.

Alfred lowered his eyes and fixed his gaze on the other one's hand. He regarded it mutely for a moment before he took it in his own, and the strong bony fingers curled around his own. _He didn't strike me down because of the truth. Dracula doesn't have to be right. _

"Please, don't do that again. Can you promise me that?" he asked at last, when the silence between had already started growing long and heavy.

"I can. I do promise that. I will not hurt you again", the Count said softly, pulling Alfred against himself. Resting his cheek on the top of young man's head, he spoke again, "I don't expect you to understand, but... the idea of sharing you with someone else - _anyone _else - is not very pleasant to me. And so I overreacted when I should have trusted you."

"It's all right", Alfred whispered. That was what he was supposed to say, wasn't it? Even if he wasn't really sure if it actually _was _all right. But then, he wasn't sure he had choice.

"Do you forgive me?" the vampire asked.

"I do", the human mumbled. "It's fine. I forgive you."

"Thank you", Johannes said so softly it was barely a whisper, but the relief in his voice wasn't lost to Alfred.

He closed his eyes and let himself gradually relax, but when he pulled back and looked at the vampire, he could still tell it wasn't the same as it had been, and he had no idea if it would ever be again.

* * *

Later that night he entered the master bedchamber after some careful consideration. He wasn't sure he was comfortable sharing the vampire's bed again so soon, but he decided it was necessary. As he lingered awkwardly at the door and the Count looked at him warily from his place by the fire, he realized it could make all the difference. There was no good reason to prolong the conflict (or whatever he should have called it), was there?

So he padded quietly to the bed, took off his shoes and most of his clothes, after which he crawled under the covers and curled up on his side. Oddly enough, he realized he had kind of missed sleeping here. Alfred shivered and let out a wavering sigh as he tried to relax.

There was a faint creak and the mattress dipped, and then he felt a hand on his shoulder. His eyes fluttered open, only to see Johannes sitting beside him. It was strange to see the confident and collected man with that slightly confused and uncertain look. He had no idea of what would happen next, or if he should react somehow. So he just lay quietly and left the initiative to the other one.

Slowly, the vampire leaned over him and planted a small, gentle kiss on Alfred's mouth. Then he pulled back, wasting no time as he did so.

"Sleep well", he said quietly and exited the bed without further word.

_Well. _That hadn't really been the reconciliation Alfred would have expected, but... maybe that was for the better. He closed his eyes again and hoped that maybe this night, the nightmares would stay away.

* * *

The dawn was only an hour or two away when Herbert von Krolock entered the sitting room and saw his father standing by the fire. Normally at this time Vati would have been with his human, doing... well, whatever it was he did. Herbert didn't concern himself with what it was – he was only concerned by the fact that it seemed to make his father content. At least, it _had _made Vati content until lately.

"You called?" Herbert said warily, wondering what it might be that was bothering his father. For something surely was; he knew the older vampire well enough to realize that. He certainly hoped that Vati would finally talk about it, why Alfred had confined himself into his bedchamber for past four nights, and just in general what was going on.

However, it took a long while before Vater spoke. When he did, his words confused Herbert quite profoundly.

"Do you think I'm weak?"he asked quietly, still not turning to face his son.

"Weak? You?" the viscount wondered out loud, and then narrowed his eyes. "Have you been drinking from some drunkard?"

"Be honest with me, Herbert. Am I weak?" Vati asked and turned around. He looked tired and... _sad. _He hadn't looked like that in some time now... in fact, not ever since Alfred had come to stay in the castle. It unnerved the younger vampire very much.

"Of course you aren't. Why do you ask such thing?" Herbert asked back and took couple of steps to close in the distance between them. His father let out a sigh so heavy that it seemed to carry all his regrets and sorrows of old.

"After... after Marius, I swore I'd never let anyone so near again. Two times I've been unable to keep that oath. I seem to never really learn", he said slowly, brushing a hand across his forehead. "From that point of view, I _am _weak. No matter how I try..."

"Vati, we've talked about this before, and you know what I think. Iit's not wrong to wish for companionship", Herbert said as gently as he could.

"Perhaps it is not. But it's not right for a vampire either", the Count said in a heavy voice and turned again to look at the fire.

"What is it, really?" the viscount asked and sat down on his favourite armchair, all the while watching his father's profile.

"Several things have happened, and they have made me think", Krolock said and sat opposite his son. For a while, he regarded his hands before looking at the younger vampire. "I believe it is high time Alfred left."

Herbert almost jumped up at that – he hardly believed his father's words. For one, he had thought Vati was far too possessive of Alfred to even consider letting the young man go.

"But why? Are you unhappy with him? Has he done something to upset you?" Herbert demanded quickly.

"No, he has done nothing wrong. Quite the opposite, actually", the Count said quietly.

"Then what? Are you thinking that he's going to share Marius' fate? You've been doing so well with Alfred – I don't think you're going to kill him... And don't bring up Rebecca either, Alfred is much too infatuated with you to even consider leaving you..." Herbert tried, but was interrupted by when the older vampire lifted his hand as a sign for silence.

"It's not that. I... I think he needs to leave because of himself. Because I cannot be what he needs for much longer. And because now he's scared of me. For a good reason, I believe", he said slowly.

"I don't understand. He seems perfectly happy with you!" the viscount argued, frowning. "Well, he usually is, and I'm sure you can work it out somehow..."

"Perhaps he has been happy so far... But it's going to change, sooner or later. And the happenings of late would imply that it's already changing. He dreams of life and light and things I cannot give or participate in... and he's going to hate me, or himself, for it. I do not wish to watch him turn into a bitter old man here. I don't want to see him become _me", _Vati said with a sad smile. "He can bear the heartbreak of leaving me, especially now, but not seeing his years grow short while none of his hopes come true."

"You could turn him. Make him one of us. Then he wouldn't have to leave and he'd never be scared of you again. You're strong enought to pull him through", Herbert offered. He wouldn't have known to expect it, but he didn't _want _Alfred gone. It wasn't because of any of the reasons he might have had originally, but rather because he had become to regard the young man as a _friend –_ something he hadn't actually had in a long time, if ever.

"Do you really think Alfred would want that? This existence? Even if I did manage to pull _him _through instead of making a monster out of him... he'd hate me for doing this to him. Some people might survive being a vampire, even like it, but Alfred? He's too gentle a soul for such fate. And... to be honest, I'd hate myself for it too. I wish for him to have a life – the kind that we can never have", Herbert's father said and rubbed his temple as if he were suffering from a bad head ache. He sighed heavily.

"Dracula was right to ask how someone like me can keep Alfred happy. Truly, I do not know the answer myself and it astounds me thatthis _thing _has gone so smoothly for so long. But he can find a more fulfilling life with someone like himself... I believe he might already have. However, he is far too loyal to break free himself... He'd stay, if only for me", Vati muttered, staring at the flames again.

"But... what about you? How can you be willingly calling all this heartbreak? It'll be just like after Marius died, and I don't want to see you like that again!" the viscount exclaimed. His father gave him a tired smile.

"It won't be the same, Herbert. Alfred will be alive... and he'll find happiness and life and all the things he dreams about. That will be more than enough for me", Vati said quietly. Herbert looked at the older vampire with odd feeling growing inside him.

"You sound so... _human_", he said and couldn't keep amazement from his voice. His words made his father smile again, but the expression was without any joy.

"Horrifying, isn't it?" the older vampire muttered sardonically. "But you are right. I do sound human, more than I have in a very long time... which is yet another reason for him to go. I cannot... I do not _want _to exist like this or have these emotions. A vampire cannot afford humanity."

Herbert sat silent, trying to find some loophole in all of this... some way for the things go on as they were. He didn't want Alfred gone – he wanted them to be as content and _happy _as they had lately been. He wanted to see that flicker of light in his father's eyes that hadn't been there in many years, and he wanted to hear Alfred's laughter fill the halls... But Vati was right. A human Alfred wouldn't be able to be happy here, and a vampire Alfred might not bear even the closest resemblance to the young man he had once been... And it was true: a vampire could not afford humanity.

"But how are you going to make him leave? He won't listen to you if you just nicely tell him that it's for his own good", Herbert pointed out after a while. His father looked at him, and they shared a long moment of silence: there was heaviness there as they looked at each other, yet also the peculiar bond they had shared for a long time. Soon, it would be just the two of them again.

Finally, Vater spoke.

"I know. And that is why I need to become the vampire again."

* * *

That night, the vampire approached him for the first time ever since their violent confrontation. Ever since, there had been new kind of remoteness in the strange love he shared with the Count; one could say it was barely touching to begin with. When there had been contact, the vampire had appeared to be very careful, as if he were thinking he might hurt Alfred otherwise. The kisses he had given had been quick and even chaste when compared to how it had been before. Furthermore, Krolock hadn't drunk from Alfred, and soon the biting marks on his various body parts faded away as if he had never been bitten.

Maybe that was for the better, or that was what he had thought. For all Alfred wanted to trust again his vampire lover, he had been finding it difficult. Rationally, he did know it hadn't been Krolock's intention to hurt him, and the vampire did seem to actually be sorry about it, but it wasn't reason that ruled his mind. Naturally, Johannes would notice that too, making him even more cautious around Alfred. It was a vicious circle that fed itself.

But on that night, the circle was broken. His lover was very passionate but also very gentle, and Alfred could feel the tension between them dissolve; perhaps the things could get back to normal after all. That was what he wanted, he realized... although it was an unsettling realization too: no matter how awful his lover was, he was also enchanting, and Alfred knew he'd always take the bad just for the sake of the good.

Yet there were those light-hearted hopes too: perhaps this tenderness meant he would hear _those words _some time soon, although he knew wishing for something like that was probably very silly.

Nevertheless, it was one of the best nights of his life.

When his lover rolled over to his side of the bed and Alfred was feeling spent and perfectly content in a way he hadn't experienced before, all he wanted to say was how much he cared for the other one, how it was all fine, and the other one needn't worry that the trust between them was gone. But he kept his silence and only looked to the Count with tenderness.

A shadow passed in those clear blue eyes so fast that Alfred wasn't sure if it had really been there or just an illusion created by the light of fire. However, he wasn't left to ponder on that, for all of a sudden, he was pulled into a tight embrace.

At first, he didn't dare to breathe or move as if that could somehow have broken the spell, but when he wasn't pushed away, he slowly relaxed and let out a long, shaky breath. Then with a soft sigh, he lay his head on the vampire's shoulder and placed his hand cautiously on his lover's bare chest, ready to pull it back if the other one gave signs of being uncomfortable. But to his surprise, the Count's hand came to rest on his own.

Words weren't needed, and Alfred just lay there relishing the closeness. He didn't want to fall asleep – in fact, he wanted to live forever in this moment – but he was also feeling so very tired... He snuggled closer and allowed his eyelids droop, feeling the soft fingers of sleep already closing in around his mind.

In the dark, Johannes let go.

* * *

The Count was gone when Alfred woke up the next day. He was disappointed, of course; after last night, nothing could have been better than waking up in the arms of the one he cherished. But then, patience was probably for the best for the moment.

He stretched, a calm feeling expanding inside as he enjoyed the quiet moment of being perfectly at peace with the world and himself. In fact, he felt better than in days. Once again, he felt _hopeful. _It would be all right – he was certain of that. He could deal with this... no matter how hard. After all, he _had _known what he had chosen.

There were some things that couldn't be, some dreams that wouldn't be fulfilled as long as he stayed here. Maybe it wouldn't always be easy, and it was likely that there would be instances when he'd be scared out of his mind. But as long as _this _was real, and he felt so cared for, Alfred was certain he could live and cope with it, or give up his life if that really was his fate. And there was a new dream too: to be able to say out loud _those words _and hear them returned.

Imagining that made him smile and a pleasant shiver ran through him. He grabbed a pillow and hugged it tight, imagining it was a certain vampire he was holding instead of just a fluffy cushion.

After a moment, he rose up and dressed, all the while humming to himself. Then he wandered to the windows and lifted one heavy curtain to see outside. It was a beautiful day and there was no cloud in the sky. It wouldn't be too long now that he would be able to start working in the garden again... Already planning all the things that would have to be done, Alfred left downstairs to find something to eat before a walk in sunshine.

* * *

He spent most of the day outside, just enjoying the light and the breath of spring in the air. He had hoped to see Lotte, but she didn't turn up at their usual meeting place; hoping that she might come some time later, Alfred spent a good while carving his initials on the tree trunk to let her know he was up and about again. He even thought about going down to the village to see her, but decided against it in the end. He really didn't want to endanger the peace between himself and the Count.

It wasn't long before the sunset that he came in for a dinner and a bath, greeting Koukol cheerfully as he passed the hunchback in the hall. The servant looked at him with an expression that could have been confusion or amusement – it was hard to tell with his deformed face – as he went, and Alfred flashed a smile.

He was just finishing his dinner when Herbert appeared at the door that lead into the kitchens of the castle. The vampire was wearing a strange expression as he stood at the door, staring at Alfred.

"What is it?" the human asked, wiping at his mouth with a napkin.

"Vati asked me to get you. He... he wants to speak with you", Herbert said quietly.

"Speak of what?" Alfred asked with a frown. Why couldn't the Count come and find him by himself if he had something to discuss?

"I don't know", the viscount said, sounding strained. "But you should hurry. It seemed important."

"All right. I'll talk to you later, then", the young man said and gathered his dishes, carrying them to the sink. He'd clean up once he had spoken with Johannes.

Herbert walked before him, silent as he only rarely was. Alfred stared at the back of his head with confusion and concern, wondering what it might be that had the vampire acting so. He thought about asking, but they reached the door to the sitting room then. Questions would have to wait for later. The viscount mutely pointed at the door, and before Alfred could say anything, he had already turned around and left him.

Alfred looked after the vampire in confusion, but then decided it was just some odd mood of Herbert's. He shook himself and stepped in.

The sitting room was just as any other night: a blazing fire in the great fireplace, the armchairs waiting for them to sit down, the curtains drawn to let in the moonlight... And as on so many nights before, the Count stood gazing out from the window. With a smile, Alfred approached the vampire and was just about to lay his hand on Krolock's shoulder when he abruptly turned around.

In the beginning of this all, Alfred had thought the vampire's face inscrutable and unmoving. Since then, he had realized it wasn't quite as blank a face he had thought. When he had learned to really _look, _ he had seen many things pass there: amusement, sorrow, annoyance, even curious kind of fondness... but now there was something he had only seen there on the night of the ball when he had first offered his life to save Sarah. The vampire looked cold and distant, but with a glint of twisted humour in his eyes.

"Is something wrong?" the young man asked warily, doubt creeping in.

"Everything is perfectly fine", the vampire answered with silky smooth tone, but there was also iciness there. Alfred frowned.

"You... you sound odd", he said, biting his lip.

"Do I? You must be imagining it", the Count said and strode over to the fireplace. He picked up a poker and adjusted the burning wood with it. Alfred followed his movements with increasing confusion. There was something very wrong about Krolock. This was not the same man that had held him last night until he fell asleep.

"Please, tell me. What is it?" he asked, trying not to let the fear enter his voice. When the other one didn't answer, he spoke again, "Johannes?"

"Do not call me that!" the vampire snapped and turned around to face Alfred, gripping the poker as if he meant to strike with it, which made the human wince. Then he continued, sounding cooler and calmer now: "'Your Excellency' will do just fine."

"I don't understand... what is wrong with you? Why are you acting so strange?" Alfred demanded.

"Strange, am I?" Krolock chuckled and looked at him with a sneer. "There is something I want you to do."

"I'll do anything you want. What is it?" he asked with sudden hope. Maybe, if he carried out with this task, the Count would stop acting so odd. However, the answer was nothing he'd have expected.

"I want you to leave", came the curt, cruel answer.

Alfred froze. Confused and surprised, he stared at the vampire, trying to understand. Was this some kind of a trick? Why would the Count want him leave after all this time, especially now that they were becoming so close? Really, it didn't make sense... not when the idea of him leaving had previously made the tall aristocrat so angry.

"Leave? But... why?" he asked in a small voice.

"Isn't that what you always wanted? Leave this place and go on with your merry little life with your lovely Sarah – or whichever foolish girl you're currently infatuated with?" Krolock asked with a scorn on his face, and it was surprising how much those words actually hurt. "Why are you suddenly so against that idea?"

"But I... I thought that..." Alfred stammered. A lump was forming in his throat and his eyes stung with the tears he knew he couldn't let fall. "I thought you wanted me here... with you."

"Other than for your blood, why would I want you?" the vampire asked with lifted eyebrows. "Do tell, dear Alfred."

"... don't you... care about me?" the young man asked back, in the verge of tears. _"Love me?" _

"Love you? You're being absurd. I'm a vampire, not some romantic hero. I do not _love", _Krolock scoffed.

"Then what has... _this _been? What am I to you? Why did you ever..." Alfred asked, trembling as he fought back his despair and tears. _This couldn't be happening. _

"I thought it was quite clear. I was in the need of some distraction... _entertainment, _if you please", the Count said with a cold smile. "Don't worry. You performed splendidly."

"That is all I was, then? Entertainment?" the human whispered. He could barely think or feel or even move – it was as if all his will and being was consumed with the single attempt of just not dying right where he stood.

"Of course. What else did you expect when you took Sarah's place? I always did try to tell you that it would have consequences", the vampire smiled. "What is it? You actually thought I would fall in love with you? That you could transform the monster with your gentle spirit? Foolish Alfred! You confuse stories with reality. I _am _the monster, and there is no transforming me!"

"You lie", Alfred said and stepped forwards, grabbing the tall man's arm in his hand. "It's because of Dracula, isn't it? He said something to you and now you're feeling conflicted! Or is it about Lotte? If you're thinking that-"

He never got to finish the sentence, though; the palm of the Count's hand slapped hard across his cheek with enough force to send him flying to the ground. Trying to hold back the cry that was on his lips, Alfred covered his cheek with his hands. The skin felt burning hot under his fingers. He lowered his gaze and closed his eyes, feeling his heart break down inside him, and right then he would have been glad if someone had just ripped it out so that he could have stopped feeling. He wanted to cry or shout or fight, but all his willpower seemed to have left him completely.

"Just kill me then. Finish this torture of yours. Give the show a fitting end", he said quietly, and truly, death would have felt like a merciful act. He wasn't sure he would have even felt it when it would happen – he felt like he was already half gone. _Everything was happening too quick._

"No", the vampire said, unrelenting. "I told you to leave. I do not wish to have anything more to do with you."

"Please. Kill me", Alfred begged and lifted his eyes so that he could see the one he had _loved, _searching for any sign that their time together hadn't been just a lie, but all he could see was cold, merciless disdain. There was no sign of falseness there. _No one could be this good actor. _He stared at the clear blue eyes, desperately trying to find the man he had grown to know and care about... If that man had ever even existed othern than in his imagination.

"Johannes... please... please tell me this isn't real..." he breathed with the last of his hope and will. It couldn't be real, could it? The last night wouldn't have happened if it was... But then the tall vampire grabbed him by his throat, just like he had done before, glaring at him with impatience now. This time, Alfred couldn't hold back his cry.

"How many times do I have to tell you? I want you to leave. I do not wish to see your face again", the Count snapped. "And I'd suggest you go now before I'll _make _you go – which is something you don't want to experience."

Then he let go and Alfred stumbled back on the ground.

"All right. I'll go and pack then", he whispered, defeat and sorrow weighing hard upon his shoulders – it was a worse hurt than pain on his neck or on his cheek. Clumsily, he climbed up on his feet, trembling as he did so.

"You will not have to. Koukol has already prepared your things", the Count barked and tossed a black bag from a chair by the wall, and it landed by Alfred's feet. He stared at it in disbelief and agony. He could barely believe it, but it was true: _he was really leaving. _More than anything, he wished this was just some bad dream and shortly, he'd wake up and the other one would be sitting by the fire and look at him curiously, and he'd know that everything was all right.

But this was not a frightful dream he could leave behind.

Slowly, he picked up the bag from his feet and then looked at the vampire for the last time. Seeing was hard with the tears blinding his eyes, but perhaps it was for the better if he couldn't. The last image of the man he loved would have to be something else than a hateful sneer.

"This is goodbye then", he said, his voice shaking.

"Yes, yes. Are we done now? My patience is growing thin", the Count snapped, flexing his sharp nails, which made Alfred flinch. He had no doubt now that the tall vampire wouldn't hurt him.

"I will go. I just... Your Excellency... Know that I truly did love you", he whispered. Then, without looking back, he left.

* * *

Alfred was already gone by the time Herbert stopped by the door of bedchamber his poor friend had used. He didn't know why he looked in; maybe it was just his natural curiosity... or the door being slightly ajar. In any case, it didn't really matter.

He hadn't realized – nor would he have believed it – how much it would bother him that he hadn't gotten the chance to say goodbye.

The chamber was as Alfred had left it, tidy and cozy. The familiar scent of a human (soap, forest, clean, _Alfred)_ remained there, even if the occupant of the room hadn't slept there regularly for some time. Uncomfortably enough, it reminded Herbert of how Marius' scent would float everywhere months after the poor man's death. It was not a nice reminder.

And there, on the edge of the bed with his back towards the door, sat Herbert's father.

_It's for the best, _Vati had said. _He'll live._

It hurt, of course. But Vater had said it was necessary, just like you had to pluck out a splinter of wood that had gotten under your skin and festered. Herbert didn't really like that comparison... and it looked like the infection remained although the splinter was gone. _Was _this really necessary? He was less and less convinced.

"Vater", he called, after a moment of hesitation. He wasn't really sure if it'd have been better to just leave his father alone, or if he should have said something comforting.

"Yes?" the older vampire answered, not turning around to face his son. But Herbert didn't need to see his face to know what was going on in his mind.

"I..." the viscount said at length, "Is there anything you need?"

"No", Vati uttered curtly, and Herbert realized this wasn't a time for words. He sighed and rested his hand at the door; this all strangely reminded him of that night Marius had died. Only, it wasn't a dead body Vati was clutching this time, but a white shirt Alfred had left on the bed. Herbert sighed as he already felt the doubt creeping in. Had his father made a mistake?

"I'll be around, if you want to..." he began, but then Vati finally looked at him and at the sight of the older vampire's expression, he changed his course, "Nevermind."

Then he turned around, closed the door softly, and left his poor old father alone.

* * *

**A/N: **Here we are, almost at the story's end, and only the epilogue remains. I will try to upload it some time the next week. Stay tuned!


	18. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

Alfred had envisioned leaving the castle many times, especially after he had first come to stay there. He had imagined running free, feeling the cool air whip at his face as he left the nestle of darkness behind him. It'd have been dawn, with the first streaks of sunlight colouring the horizon. He had thought he would feel light and relieved as he rushed forwards, and the sweet taste of freedom would give him strength as he raced towards the rise of new day.

The way it turned out to be was nothing he'd have thought it would be; he hadn't expected the tears and his heart being broken by none else than the castle's awful, terrifying, enchanting master.

Muffled sobs tore at his chest as he walked on and tears were blinding his eyes so that he could barely see where he was going. His mind seemed to be in union with the torment and despair, summoning all the memories and little moments he had cherished but now wanted to forget forever: the kiss in the garden, the many nights by fire, the quiet words exchanged during those long hours in bed... and, most precious and painful of all, the one time he had fallen asleep in the arms of his vampire lover.

_No. _

All of that had been a lie and he had just been too stupid to see it. He should have known... should have been smarter than that. Yet, if it had been just a lie, why did it hurt so much? How could something that wasn't real inflict such injury?

His sobs turned into uncontrollable wails of agony. Breathing was hard, and so was moving, but he kept going. He needed to get out, far away from this horrible place... He wanted to run and escape and find a place where _this _couldn't reach him... He tried to think of anything else, how he'd go down to the village and find Lotte. She'd know what to do...

But no matter how much he would run, his heart would follow. And his heart was the center of it all: the grief, the betrayal... the love he had dreamt and then found as empty as any vampire's heart, and he wasn't sure all the laughter Lotte could ever muster could make it all right.

Alfred forced himself to run; he rushed forwards and he was _hurting... _until his legs wouldn't carry him no more and he stumbled and fell down and never wanted to get up again. He might have called out for the name of his lover, he didn't know, but only the echo of his own voice answered.

He had been alone for the most of his life, and he had never had many friends, but truly this was the most lonely moment of his whole existence: to be rejected in such manner by someone he had trusted with his life and deepest secrets left vast emptiness inside him that for the moment he was sure he would never be quite able to fill it.

And he would never see the one he loved again.

"_Johannes..."_

* * *

Poor unhappy Alfred had collapsed into a pitiful pile on the middle of the path, weeping in such utter heartbreak that it was painful to look at even for a vampire.

Herbert had expected the young man not to take this well, but really, that was an understatement. He had never seen the human so in pain... yet he was supposed to think it was all for the best - that such pain was the easiest way for Alfred to move on. But how could this kind of agony result in good things or make it easier to carry on?

"Alfred", he called, as gentle as he was able, and the human lifted his face.

"H-herbert? What are you doing here?" he stammered in a weak, shaky voice. He tried to wipe the tears away and put on his brave face, but the expression turned out miserable.

"I... I didn't get to say goodbye", Herbert said quietly. Well, that wasn't a complete lie, was it? He hadn't wanted Alfred to just _go – _even if that had been what Vati had wanted, as if a clean break was the best way around it.

The human sniffled and looked away.

"I didn't think that would matter to you", he muttered.

"Of course it does, Alfred. No matter what Vati said or did... you're my friend, and it makes me sad to see you go", Herbert said with a sigh. Why did this have to be so difficult? Or, why did Vati have to make this so difficult?

Alfred breathed deep, looking like it took all in him to just stay together.

"Why didn't you say anything? Why didn't you tell me the truth about him?" he asked, but there was no accusation in his voice – only grief and regret.

"I tried to tell you", Herbert answered in a faint voice. He was amazed to realize that it actually _hurt. _There _was _a stinging feeling inside him, and that wasn't something he had experienced in a long time. "I tried to tell you it never ends well with him."

The young man lowered his gaze and the vampire looked at him with sadness.

"Alfred... I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for everything", he said quietly.

"I know. I'm sorry too", the human mumbled, wiping his sleeve over his eyes.

"What are you going to do now?" the viscount asked. "Where will you go?"

"I don't know. I might try returning to Königsberg... see if they'll take me back after all this time. Everyone probably thinks I'm dead... and I'd prefer to be that way", Alfred said in a hopeless voice. "Why would they want someone like me, I have no idea... I really have no place to go now."

"Alfred..." Herbert said, but he couldn't find the words.

"It's all right. I'll come up with something", the poor little thing said, his voice turning toneless. Then he looked at the vampire and when he spoke, some colour returned: "I... it might be a stupid thing to ask, considering everything, but... well, look after your father for me, will you?"

"Of course", Herbert said, slightly surprised at his friend's words.

"I know what you must be thinking. But I... I don't think I can hate him, ever. Not even now, although it would make this probably easier. It's like you said... as he is awful, he's also enchanting. And I think I'll always... always love him. No matter what. Even if it was just in my mind..." Alfred said, his voice trailing off, and then tears were there again. His shoulders shook and he lowered his gaze as if he could hide his pain that way. "I'm just so sorry that... that he didn't feel the same about me."

Herbert stared at the poor unhappy Alfred mutely, just trying to really comprehend the words the young man had just uttered. Oh, the bottomlessness of the human heart, and the complexity of their emotions! Sometimes it did make him jealous... But, really, there was only one way around this – he realized that now.

He knew exactly what he had to do.

* * *

There were steps then, and a pair of expensive-looking shoes appeared in Alfred's vision. Then a lavender-clad knee pressed against the ground as the vampire supported himself while hovering over him.

"You really love him? And you want to be with him?" the viscount asked, his voice suddenly very eager. Alfred couldn't bring himself to face Herbert, so he just kept his eyes on the ground.

"I do. And I do want to stay, but he doesn't _want _me. I was just... entertainment", he said sadly. Saying that sorrowful truth out loud felt like his heart was crushed all over again – like speaking of it somehow made it even more real than it already was.

Before Alfred could say anything more, he was grabbed and two unyielding arms had snaked their way around him. Herbert's face loomed over him and he looked up in confusion.

"Herbert, what are you doing?"

The viscount smiled – a wide, toothy grin that terrified Alfred just a little bit.

"I am going to save you both."

And then his mouth descended on Alfred's neck.

* * *

_FIN._

* * *

**A/N: **And there you have it. I know this ending might not be what you'd have expected or wanted, but honestly, it was really the only way I could end this story. I confess that I'm a sucker for unresolved and open endings that leave space for one's own imagination.

When I started to think about how the story would end, I knew Alfred couldn't stay and be happy. He had to leave – something he doesn't understand himself. But Krolock did realize this and it's his one good deed that he ordered Alfred to go. Truthfully, I can see Alfred leaving and finding happiness somewhere else, potentially with someone like Lotte.

But there's one wild card and that is Herbert, who is not happy with how things turned out. And you can see what his solution is. However, when I imagined what would be the consequences of his interference, it quickly became clear that it was another story altogether. It doesn't fit in the same frame as "Strangelove", just as the events of "Strangelove" wouldn't have fit "A Deal with the Devil".

So, I do have an idea of what that another story would be. The question is, would anyone even want to read that, or should I just leave this here?

Big thanks to everyone who read this story!


End file.
